Decisions

We are constantly making decisions in our lives, for our lives, and about our lives.  Every day we decide to get up, and when, to eat, or not, what to wear, how to look, what to say, how to act, and much, much more.  Those are what I would term the 'obvious' decisions in our lives.  But occasionally we are faced with the 'tougher' choices in life.  Do I buy a house, should I take that job, can we start a family, etc. etc. etc.  Now we're getting into the bigger things, those potentially life-changing events.  And while I personally prefer things in black and white so I can carefully analyze the situation and choose the correct course of action, I'm beginning to think that there is no 'right or wrong' when it comes to life decisions.  Okay, if you don't prayerfully consider your options, and you act in a way that is contrary to God's plan, I suppose it might be a harder swim up the stream.  But, for better or worse, some of the big decisions in life don't come with a neon sign to help you choose, nor do they offer a guarantee of happiness.  It is not a matter of picking one so everything will be fine.  I believe that either direction will move you, it's more a matter of which direction you want to go.  I know, that's a pretty vague response.  But perhaps it isn't just about the the path that you take on your journey, but rather the destination that you reach.  And we all know there are many ways to get to point A from point B.  Obviously, the shortest distance is a straight line.  But walking that straight line is like walking a tightrope - not many people are successful at it on the first try.  For me, my path tends to curve, maybe goes up a hill or down a valley.  Sometimes I think it is blocked by boulders, but that's just because I forget to follow the signs.  I don't know that I'll ever walk a path using the easiest route, but that is part of my journey.  I am where I am because of what I've gone through to get here.  I try to remember that when presented with a question mark, I can only base my decision on the information I have at that moment in time.  No option to peek into a crystal ball or use that 20/20 hindsight.  I know one of my challenges when faced with a big decision is that choosing one option eliminates another.  So instead of seeing it as positive movement, I see it as a limitation.  A simplistic example - choosing to read a book means I removed the option of watching a movie instead.  Of course, I tend to forget that I could always watch the movie AFTER reading the book, or if I'm really up for a challenge, while I'm reading the book.  I have to remember that just because I chose option A, I could always choose option B next.  Yes, I know that the circumstances will never be the same, but life is made up of moments of time, and time keeps moving whether we choose to or not.  Even if I move in one direction and decide later that it was wrong, at least I moved.  Any movement is better than no movement at all.  And there comes a point when it's just time - I've prayed, I've worried, I've pondered my options and analyzed them to death.  All that is left is to act!

It's Not Easy

Why does 'doing the right thing' have to be hard?  Why can't it be easy?  I really wanted to be mad at someone today.  I wanted to ignore them, and respond with curt answers to their questions, and let them know that I was not happy with them.  Fortunately (or unfortunately, depending on my mood), a little voice kept reminding me that I had to treat that person with respect, even if I was angry with them.  I guess that's the catch when you develop a good conscience - you can't turn it off!  It seems like life is going good, and then one day we get blindsided by something.  It doesn't even have to be something major; sometimes a little quirk or comment can do the trick.  From there, something else gets added to our plate, we learn about a deadline we have to quickly meet, and pretty soon we're overwhelmed, frustrated, and ready to pick a fight with anyone.  And yes, it's okay to feel those things, but it's not okay to lash out or be unreasonable.  And, for me, being angry and being reasonable don't ever walk hand in hand.  In the heat of the moment, I want to plot my strategy and plan my revenge.  It feels satisfying to have an outlet for the emotions brewing inside.  But, if I am lucky enough to listen, my conscience nudges me, making me remember that I did offer today up to God.  I get something like an elbow to the ribs, reminding me that I can't preach about goodness and love if I don't practice them, and that RIGHT NOW is a great time to start.  Once I wrap my mind around that, it's hard to hold onto my anger.  At that point it would be easy to berate myself and wonder if I will ever learn how to control my thoughts and actions, seeing how easy it was to get off track.  But I realize that recognizing my errors and working to correct them is pleasing to God.  Humans are not perfect (regardless of what I claim to the contrary), and why would we want to be?  Perfection is monotonous.  It might be exciting for a while, but without the peaks and valleys, it is flat and lifeless.  There is no potential.  In our lives, with all of our faults and weaknesses and gifts and talents the possibilities are endless.  And it is in those valleys that we can learn the biggest lessons and grow the most.  We also know that it can be a painful process, but ultimately it is worth the price.  So the next time I am faced with a difficult situation, I hope that I hear my conscience lecturing me to do the right thing, particularly when I don't want to, and that I do it, remembering that my effort to overcome is just as pleasing to God as the outcome.

Our Job

What exactly is our job?  Not necessarily our 'pay-the-bills' job, but the job we were given to do with our life?  We know we have a purpose, and at Church, we are told to do and be as Christ was to others.  So why doesn't that translate to our daily lives?  It seems as though our 'church lives' and our 'regular lives' don't always run parallel to each other.  On one hand, we know that we must be good people.  But good is such a vague term.  We could be good at frustrating others and goofing off, and I'm pretty sure that's NOT what it means.  At what point does the 'goodness' of our church lives intersect to the 'goodness' of our daily lives?  We hear about clothing the naked, but how do we actually do this?  The literal translation may be donating clothing to Goodwill or supporting the Salvation Army or a similar charity, but what about preserving human dignity, as Mother Teresa suggested?  Not tearing people down, taking away their self-respect and value?  Now this gets deeper - even to the sanctity of life.  This includes speaking up for those who can't, voting to protect life in all forms and ages, and reaching out to those we meet - stranger and friend.  That doesn't sound as simple and straightforward as donating old clothes we don't want.  And when it comes to our 'regular' job (the one that pays the bills), how does it enrich our lives and the lives of those around us?  If we are constantly worried about the next project, deadline, the latest gossip, and our frustrating boss, OR even if we are excited about the next project, deadline, latest gossip, or interesting co-worker, how does that fit into the grand scheme of things?  What does that have to do with our greater purpose?  So often, we move the focus from where it should be, and put it on things that, in the end, don't really matter.  I'm not suggesting that everyone quit doing their '9-5' job.  But perhaps it is not the best place to focus every last bit of our energy.  And, even if we do not focus ALL of our energy in our work, where else do we place it? Celebrity gossip magazines or websites and reality TV?  Computer surfing and video games?  Text messaging?  Activities which we consider to be important, and are not individually bad, but ultimately distract us from the real priorities in life?  How many times do we worry more about the bottom line, the latest sensational headline, or the plot on a TV show than we do about the people around us?  Whether it is the person (people) we live with, a co-worker at the next desk, or an acquaintance we greet in passing, they need and deserve our attention.  By being fully in the present and focusing on each person we meet (or live/work with), we are showing them that they are important; they matter to us.  Even a brief encounter can raise a weary soul and soothe a frazzled spirit.  By lifting up those in our lives, whether daily or once-in-a-lifetime, we are fulfilling a purpose that is unique to each of us.  For in that chance meeting we are doing a job that is more important than our daily toil and labor could ever be.  We are supporting a fellow human being; thus we are serving Christ.  And in that perfect moment, when we choose to focus on our neighbor, we are truly allowing our 'church life' to intersect our daily life.  In that moment, we become the body of Christ, fulfilling the job that only we can do, for which we were perfectly created.  

Big News

Why is it that we define our lives by news?  Usually the kinds of news that is good - a new job, a promotion, a  much-anticipated baby - is welcomed.  Maybe it is news that is bittersweet - the expected death of one who lived life well, or a close friend or family member who is moving away.  Perhaps the news appears devastating - medical illness, a tragic death, the loss of a job, or unexpected circumstances.  But it is the big news that seemingly shapes our lives.  The smaller stuff - favorite books or movies, talk about coming Holidays, what's for dinner - doesn't register on the radar.   But do we really recognize that big news, of any type, is an opportunity for us?  An opportunity to grow into the person we are called to be.  It's easier to see that opportunity with good news.  The emotional high and happiness that comes with good news is addicting.  Everyone congratulates us and wishes us well.  We bask in the feelings of pride and achievement.  And if the news is bittersweet, we console ourselves and eventually move on.  But when the news is not what we want to hear, it is nearly impossible to feel anything but despair.  We may become melancholy or even deny the situation, entirely missing the opportunity within.  While each circumstance is different, there is a grieving process involved.  If we open our minds and hearts to the opportunity, we will eventually be able to see it.  It takes time and it takes practice, and it is not easy.  Our lives appear to halt, until we can face the situation.  But we must have hope and faith, believing that the purpose is there.  For without hope, we cannot go on.  Without faith, life loses meaning.  And finally, we must trust.  Trust that there is a purpose for things we don't understand, and a reason for situations we cannot control, and an opportunity to be discovered, even in the midst of tragedy.  

Right Now!

It's hard sometimes, when we don't get what we want. Actually, it can be frustrating to realize that we are not in control, and cannot make something happen, or not happen, as the case may be. I know that there is a God who is All-Knowing and All-Loving. I also believe that when considering our prayers, requests, and/or demands, God does not reply, 'Well, My Child, let me get back to you on this matter. But in the meantime, I'm going to keep you busy with Problem A, Situation B, and Frustrating Person C. While you are stuck in the middle of A, B, and C, and don't know what to do, I'll be considering your petition. Don't forget - God loves you!' Yet, we put that mindset on God, assuming that God responds in a human fashion. In our world, we work with Yes/No situations and responses. Yes, I will help at that event. No, I cannot be at this gathering. Yes, I am ready for the presentation. No, I don't want to leave yet. Occasionally, a maybe or two creeps into our vocabulary if we aren't ready to give a definitive Yes/No, but there is always some type of response, usually immediate. So it can be rather challenging for us humans to accept the other possible, and most likely response from God - silence. Because we require an immediate answer, we interpret the silence into something we can understand - 'No'. However, this does not fit with the image of a God who cares about us. We must overcome our human tendancy to expect an immediate response and accept the response we receive - silence. So what does this silence mean? It may mean 'Wait'. Patience is something we are not good at. When we are hungry, we eat. When we are thirsty, we drink. When we want something, we buy it. Now, now, now! So, when we are faced with silence, we are in a situation we cannot control or change, and we assume the worst. This is when we can become bitter, thinking that God doesn't care about us. Or we decide that we are self-reliant - we don't need God. Either way, God's not worth the hassle. However, if we are able to rise above our tendancies and actually listen, our answer is in the silence. God's not done. We haven't been told 'No'. We have been asked to 'Wait'. Waiting is always hard, especially when it is something near and dear to our hearts. It goes against our nature. Waiting means that God has a plan, a plan which will work for our good, but we need to have faith. Waiting means that we must cultivate our patience and trust. None of this is easy. But once we get our eyes off of OUR goals and expectations, we will see that God is there, waiting. Lucky for us, God's patience is eternal, and God's love is everlasting. When we hear the silence, and accept the message, we will see God, with arms open wide, waiting for us. And we are reminded that God was waiting, all along, for us to accept the plan. Not our plan, but God's plan. Even if we don't understand it, or why we must wait, we know that God is there, reminding us to have faith and trust. For the plan will unfold in God's time, not ours. That means we must wait.