I was recently back to my old 'stomping grounds' as I was playing for a wedding. Interestingly enough, the cantor was my former neighbor. We practiced a few times, and chatted back and forth via text. We talked more in the last two weeks then we probably did in the five years I lived across the street. She made a comment to me that she wished we had connected sooner. I agreed. Sometimes it takes big changes to see something that's right across the street. Yet, I believe that God's timing is perfect, even if it is occasionally confusing.
Showing posts with label strength. Show all posts
Showing posts with label strength. Show all posts
Wednesday, May 11, 2016
Perfect timing
I was looking back at some of my posts while trying to find a fitting title for this one. I've noticed that my recent focus appears to be on time, i.e. God's timing, patience, seasons, etc. This one is in much the same vein. There is so much to say, I'm not sure my thoughts can be expressed completely. Life is complicated. In one breath we experience joy, and the next, sadness. Time is the great equalizer, granting perspective or hindsight. There are so many pieces that we don't understand while they are happening, but occasionally, we can look back and glimpse God's work in our lives.
I was recently back to my old 'stomping grounds' as I was playing for a wedding. Interestingly enough, the cantor was my former neighbor. We practiced a few times, and chatted back and forth via text. We talked more in the last two weeks then we probably did in the five years I lived across the street. She made a comment to me that she wished we had connected sooner. I agreed. Sometimes it takes big changes to see something that's right across the street. Yet, I believe that God's timing is perfect, even if it is occasionally confusing.
I was recently back to my old 'stomping grounds' as I was playing for a wedding. Interestingly enough, the cantor was my former neighbor. We practiced a few times, and chatted back and forth via text. We talked more in the last two weeks then we probably did in the five years I lived across the street. She made a comment to me that she wished we had connected sooner. I agreed. Sometimes it takes big changes to see something that's right across the street. Yet, I believe that God's timing is perfect, even if it is occasionally confusing. 
Tuesday, December 15, 2015
Remember
December 15, 1990.The day Donny died.
It was one of my first experiences with the sudden loss of someone close to me. We were neighbors and friends. We rode the same bus, and played together at each other's homes. I was devastated by the sense of loss and the sheer emotion that poured out of me.
That particular grief has lessened over the years. Time softens the sadness, while still allowing the memories to remain. I don't remember when I stopped asking why it happened. I don't think any answer will suffice this side of Heaven. Yet I can look back now and instead of wonder what might have been, I can appreciate what was. My reminiscing isn't motivated by regret, rather, it is a strong reminder that even after so many years, my memories can be a gift.
As I have more recently experienced the death of my niece, I know that it is a gift to have others share their memories of her. This sharing can lessen the sting of the loss because it unites those left behind. These shared experiences are a gift given to those who grieve. To me, it says that you recognize my loss, my suffering, and my sadness. You give me the gift of remembering. It doesn't really matter if you knew her or not, because when you honor her memory, you honor me.
Sunday, March 08, 2015
Lenten Struggle
Lent has been difficult for me this year. I know; it's supposed to be a challenge. However, I feel that I'm experiencing more than the 'usual' struggles. Maybe it's because I'm looking at life differently since my pilgrimage to the Holy Land. Maybe I'm being tempted more and unable to resist. Maybe God is giving me the opportunity to wholly rely on Him, and it scares me.
Regardless, my human nature complains. 'Why this? Why me? Why?' There are no easy answers. I do not know God's mind, but I do believe in God's plan, even when it's hidden or obscure. It seems as though God is permitting numerous obstacles so as to deepen my faith. I'm certainly not to the level of Job, but I have been contemplating his life in the face of trials. He was desolate and devastated, yet he still praised God: "The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord." ~Job 1:21b
Wednesday, August 27, 2014
This moment
What does God want me to get out of this moment?
A very wise person (who happens to be my sister) encouraged me to ponder this question after I called her wanting a magic wand to solve life's questions and problems. I had arrived at an impasse, and there was really nothing I could do but wait. Not my action of choice, especially at that moment. I was frustrated, anxious, irritable, tired, and confused. She managed to put things in perspective when she shared something she had read, which her spiritual director had shared with her. (Thank goodness for spiritual directors!) As I was contemplating my feelings, next actions, and life in general, she suggested that I stop and ask myself, 'What does God want me to get out of this moment?'
Maybe it was the opportunity to practice patience. Or so I could be motivated to think about things differently. Maybe it was so I would call my sister. I don't know the answer, but I do know that there is a very valuable lesson for me. The only way I will discover the answer is to be in conversation with God. To look at this situation through God's lens gives me a whole new perspective. Rather than feel helpless or frustrated, I can grow, if I am willing to let go. I guess that's why people say, 'Have faith.' We may not have all the details, the road map, or a Sherpa to guide us, but we have God. Sometimes we have to let go of our small plans to receive better ones.
So, I will live in the moment, and do the best I can, while God prepares and molds me. It's not easy, but it will be worth it.
A very wise person (who happens to be my sister) encouraged me to ponder this question after I called her wanting a magic wand to solve life's questions and problems. I had arrived at an impasse, and there was really nothing I could do but wait. Not my action of choice, especially at that moment. I was frustrated, anxious, irritable, tired, and confused. She managed to put things in perspective when she shared something she had read, which her spiritual director had shared with her. (Thank goodness for spiritual directors!) As I was contemplating my feelings, next actions, and life in general, she suggested that I stop and ask myself, 'What does God want me to get out of this moment?'
Maybe it was the opportunity to practice patience. Or so I could be motivated to think about things differently. Maybe it was so I would call my sister. I don't know the answer, but I do know that there is a very valuable lesson for me. The only way I will discover the answer is to be in conversation with God. To look at this situation through God's lens gives me a whole new perspective. Rather than feel helpless or frustrated, I can grow, if I am willing to let go. I guess that's why people say, 'Have faith.' We may not have all the details, the road map, or a Sherpa to guide us, but we have God. Sometimes we have to let go of our small plans to receive better ones.
So, I will live in the moment, and do the best I can, while God prepares and molds me. It's not easy, but it will be worth it.
Thursday, August 07, 2014
Temptation
Life is full of obstacles, not the least of which is temptation. This can come in many shapes, sizes, colors, and disguises. Tonight over dinner, a friend and I were discussing temptation and how it permeates everything. It is a challenge to be pure and holy. After reading the book 'Spiritual Combat', I see how we must prepare ourselves for battle. It is not enough to want to be holy, rather, we must fight to be holy.
I had read a great reflection on temptation in the Magnificat by Saint John Vianney. He referred to Saint Gregory and Saint Augustine who both said that if you are not tempted, you are going down the wrong path. In essence, if you are not fighting temptation you have already lost the battle and therefore will lose your soul. Saint John Vianney continues on to say, ". . . we can say that it is one of the surest signs that we are on the path to heaven, if we are tempted, no matter how humiliating the temptation may be."
Sunday, August 03, 2014
One day at a time
I've just returned from a scary trip. No haunted houses or dangerous roads. Something much more personal and challenging - the uncertain health of a loved one. In this case it was my dad. He is 87 1/2 years old now, and his appendix ruptured last week. Unfortunately, it wasn't caught until Friday, when he had unbearable pain and finally asked to go to the doctor. Talk about tough (ahem, stubborn) farmers. They thought they were operating to remove his appendix, but after going in, they learned that it had already burst. Dad was a lifelong smoker, and I remember begging him to quit when I was a little girl. All of those years of damage have taken their toll, and he is on oxygen full-time. So, add some COPD lungs to a ruptured appendix, and you have a medical situation that would be a challenge for a healthy young adult, let alone my tenacious father.
The surgeon suggested that family be called, because things looked pretty serious. Siblings arrived as soon as they could and everyone wondered if the worst might become reality. Talk about tiring. I continued my plea for prayers and begged God for a miracle. Saturday morning brought some progress. We were still very cautious, because anything could happen. My sleepless night caught up and I desperately needed some rest. Mom and I took a break while some of my other siblings stayed at the hospital. We continued our waiting, seeming to hold our breath for 'the other shoe' to drop. Dad was moved out of ICU, which was amazing.
Sunday had even more positive moments. The surgeon was amazed by Dad's progress, and I couldn't hold back my tears when I shared the news via text and phone. As one friend stated, he may not be out of the woods yet, but we are definitely witnessing the power of prayer. Exhausted, emotionally worn out, and still in shock was my day. I trekked back to my home that evening after attending Mass, and I pondered all that had transpired.
On Friday, before things had progressed to a concerning stage, I had already requested prayers from a few folks. As the situation became more grave, I doubled my efforts. I was surprised by the response. I find it interesting that my first action was asking for prayers for my Dad, but yet I was surprised when my prayers were answered. "Ask and you shall receive . . . " I know prayer requests are rarely so straightforward, but here I have just witnessed an amazing change and I have to ask myself why I was ever worried. Laugh if you want, but I can't have it both ways. I can't say I trust in God's plan and then worry myself sick with what-ifs. Well, actually, I can because I am a human being. We tend to be a little backwards about these things sometimes.
This experience isn't over, and one day it will end in death. However, that death doesn't mean an end; rather it is a beginning of something bigger and better than we can imagine. As I celebrated with my fellow Catholics at Mass tonight, I was struck by the beauty of faith. Faith does not promise smooth sailing. In fact, it seems like it's the opposite. We face hardships, accidents, death, anger, hurt, and much, much more. Faith doesn't prevent these things; it gives us comfort to survive them. I think of it as the boat that carries me through the terrible storms in life. I may not be able to avoid the storms, but I will get through them. My prayer is that I will continue to remember this, not just when I am faced with challenge, but every moment of my life. God is good, all the time.
The surgeon suggested that family be called, because things looked pretty serious. Siblings arrived as soon as they could and everyone wondered if the worst might become reality. Talk about tiring. I continued my plea for prayers and begged God for a miracle. Saturday morning brought some progress. We were still very cautious, because anything could happen. My sleepless night caught up and I desperately needed some rest. Mom and I took a break while some of my other siblings stayed at the hospital. We continued our waiting, seeming to hold our breath for 'the other shoe' to drop. Dad was moved out of ICU, which was amazing.
Sunday had even more positive moments. The surgeon was amazed by Dad's progress, and I couldn't hold back my tears when I shared the news via text and phone. As one friend stated, he may not be out of the woods yet, but we are definitely witnessing the power of prayer. Exhausted, emotionally worn out, and still in shock was my day. I trekked back to my home that evening after attending Mass, and I pondered all that had transpired.
On Friday, before things had progressed to a concerning stage, I had already requested prayers from a few folks. As the situation became more grave, I doubled my efforts. I was surprised by the response. I find it interesting that my first action was asking for prayers for my Dad, but yet I was surprised when my prayers were answered. "Ask and you shall receive . . . " I know prayer requests are rarely so straightforward, but here I have just witnessed an amazing change and I have to ask myself why I was ever worried. Laugh if you want, but I can't have it both ways. I can't say I trust in God's plan and then worry myself sick with what-ifs. Well, actually, I can because I am a human being. We tend to be a little backwards about these things sometimes.
This experience isn't over, and one day it will end in death. However, that death doesn't mean an end; rather it is a beginning of something bigger and better than we can imagine. As I celebrated with my fellow Catholics at Mass tonight, I was struck by the beauty of faith. Faith does not promise smooth sailing. In fact, it seems like it's the opposite. We face hardships, accidents, death, anger, hurt, and much, much more. Faith doesn't prevent these things; it gives us comfort to survive them. I think of it as the boat that carries me through the terrible storms in life. I may not be able to avoid the storms, but I will get through them. My prayer is that I will continue to remember this, not just when I am faced with challenge, but every moment of my life. God is good, all the time.
Saturday, February 01, 2014
More than I can handle
It's been a busy, crazy few weeks. Lots going on, activities, emotions, health challenges, commitments, and life in general. I had been trying to talk with a friend to vent my frustrations and we just couldn't get connected. I figured God was giving me another opportunity to learn patience. After we finally connected, we were swapping 'war stories', and she mentioned something she read about God giving us more than we can handle.
Wait. What?!
Wait. What?!
Sunday, January 12, 2014
Aaarrrggghhh
No - I'm not preparing for my role as a pirate. It's been a week of frustration, challenges, emotions, and pure craziness. Everyone is busy and there is always a lot going on, but this week took that to the extreme. Some of the chaos included my parents health issues (they are both okay), water pipes breaking all over the area (lots to do at work), deadline to write my talk for an upcoming retreat, plus all the usual things that have to be done - clean clothes, meals, groceries, dishes, open the mail. I am assuming that the bills I receive are not just suggestions - people would like me to pay them, right? Then you add in my regular scheduled stuff - women's group (I was tempted to skip), book study group (I was tempted to skip), bible study (I was late), and no wonder I'm tired!
Sunday, November 10, 2013
Never-ending
Never-ending. When I look at my trees this time of year, it makes me tired. Being a newer home owner, I have a different appreciation for fall. I appreciate when all of the leaves in the neighborhood are picked up!
Don't get me wrong. I love fall. I love the change of season and the beautiful colors. Every day, I see something in nature that takes my breath away.
But I've noticed that as my leaves (and those of my neighbors) continue to fall, I become less able to see past the work that those leaves represent. I get caught up in logistics and details. Saturday is the only day I can do yard work, will the weather cooperate? My waste bin isn't big enough, what do I do with the extra leaves? Will my arms put up with the time it takes to rake everything, or will they (my arms) turn to mush before I'm done? Yada yada yada.
Don't get me wrong. I love fall. I love the change of season and the beautiful colors. Every day, I see something in nature that takes my breath away.
Tuesday, November 05, 2013
Change
You know the saying. nothing is certain except change. But why does it have to be so difficult?
Sometimes change is a good thing. It may be something that we have decided we want to achieve, a goal on which we have set our eyes.
Sometimes it is very painful, sad, or life-changing. But it seems like the times when the change is out of our control, that we are the most impacted.
Sometimes change is a good thing. It may be something that we have decided we want to achieve, a goal on which we have set our eyes.
Sometimes it is very painful, sad, or life-changing. But it seems like the times when the change is out of our control, that we are the most impacted.
Tuesday, October 29, 2013
Come to the well
"Leave it all behind, and come to the well."
I recently had the privilege of attending a Casting Crowns acoustic concert. They are one of my favorite groups, in general, but the acoustic setting was beyond amazing. Highly recommend. Check out this song:
What a good reminder for us to let go of the baggage we hold so tightly.
Casting Crowns website
Prayer - Lord, I struggle to focus on the important things in life. Help me to accept Your gift of love and life.
I recently had the privilege of attending a Casting Crowns acoustic concert. They are one of my favorite groups, in general, but the acoustic setting was beyond amazing. Highly recommend. Check out this song:
What a good reminder for us to let go of the baggage we hold so tightly.
Casting Crowns website
Leave it all behind
Leave it all behind
Leave it all behind
Leave it all behind
Leave it all behind
Leave it all behind
Leave it all behind
I have what you need, but you keep on searching
I’ve done all the work, but you keep on working
When you’re running on empty
And you can’t find the remedy
Just come to the well
You can spend your whole life
Chasing what’s missing
But that empty inside, it just ain’t gonna listen
When nothing can satisfy
And the world leaves you high and dry
Just come to the well
I’ve done all the work, but you keep on working
When you’re running on empty
And you can’t find the remedy
Just come to the well
You can spend your whole life
Chasing what’s missing
But that empty inside, it just ain’t gonna listen
When nothing can satisfy
And the world leaves you high and dry
Just come to the well
And all who thirst will thirst no more
And all who search will find
What their souls long for
The world will try but it can never fill
So leave it all behind
And come to the well
And all who search will find
What their souls long for
The world will try but it can never fill
So leave it all behind
And come to the well
So bring me your heart, no matter how broken
Just come as you are, when your last prayer is spoken
Just rest in my arms a while
You’ll feel a change, my child
When you come to the well
Just come as you are, when your last prayer is spoken
Just rest in my arms a while
You’ll feel a change, my child
When you come to the well
And now that you’re full of love beyond measure
Your joy’s gonna flow like a stream in the desert
Soon all the world will see
Living water is found in me
‘Cause you’ve come to the well
Your joy’s gonna flow like a stream in the desert
Soon all the world will see
Living water is found in me
‘Cause you’ve come to the well
Leave it all behind and come to the well
Leave it all behind
Leave it all behind
Leave it all behind
Leave it all behind
Leave it all behind
Leave it all behind
Leave it all behind
Your pursuit of perfection (leave it all behind)
Your fear of rejection (leave it all behind)
Your temporary pleasures (leave it all behind)
All your earthly treasures (leave it all behind)
Dried up empty religion (leave it all behind)
Rusty chains of addiction (leave it all behind)
All the guilt that weighs you down (leave it all behind)
Just leave it all behind and come to the well
What a great reminder - there is an answer to our questions, our searching, and our longings. Things of this world are only temporary. We need the gift of eternal life.Your fear of rejection (leave it all behind)
Your temporary pleasures (leave it all behind)
All your earthly treasures (leave it all behind)
Dried up empty religion (leave it all behind)
Rusty chains of addiction (leave it all behind)
All the guilt that weighs you down (leave it all behind)
Just leave it all behind and come to the well
Prayer - Lord, I struggle to focus on the important things in life. Help me to accept Your gift of love and life.
Tuesday, October 22, 2013
Weary
"Brothers and sisters, do not be weary in doing what is right." 2 Thessalonians 3:13 NRSVCE
This was in the morning prayer yesterday, and it stuck with me through the day. How true it is that we can become weary in doing what we are to do. I think of all the little things that push my buttons, and this verse reaffirms that we are to continue doing what we know is right. Keep on keepin' on. For it is in the small things where we grow, so that we are able to survive the big challenges.
Again with the health comparison - if you want to run/walk a 5K for the first time ever, you don't (or you shouldn't) just get up the day of the race and go sign up. First off, you won't get your t-shirt, and second (and more importantly) you are not prepared. This verse speaks to the small tasks, behind-the-scenes, that challenge us. That is when our strength is developed and our stamina is cultivated. So, when it comes time for the race or the challenge, we are prepared.
Challenge - today, when thoughts of discouragement creep in, banish them away. Recognize that we can be weary, but we have a greater goal that we wish to achieve. And, we are not in this alone!
Prayer - Lord, my human self is easily tired and distracted. I let the smallest things derail my focus. I don't want to lose sight of You. Help me to accept Your Grace so I may win the battle over those buzzing worries. They are opportunities for me to live for YOU by doing what is right.
This was in the morning prayer yesterday, and it stuck with me through the day. How true it is that we can become weary in doing what we are to do. I think of all the little things that push my buttons, and this verse reaffirms that we are to continue doing what we know is right. Keep on keepin' on. For it is in the small things where we grow, so that we are able to survive the big challenges.
Again with the health comparison - if you want to run/walk a 5K for the first time ever, you don't (or you shouldn't) just get up the day of the race and go sign up. First off, you won't get your t-shirt, and second (and more importantly) you are not prepared. This verse speaks to the small tasks, behind-the-scenes, that challenge us. That is when our strength is developed and our stamina is cultivated. So, when it comes time for the race or the challenge, we are prepared.
Challenge - today, when thoughts of discouragement creep in, banish them away. Recognize that we can be weary, but we have a greater goal that we wish to achieve. And, we are not in this alone!
Prayer - Lord, my human self is easily tired and distracted. I let the smallest things derail my focus. I don't want to lose sight of You. Help me to accept Your Grace so I may win the battle over those buzzing worries. They are opportunities for me to live for YOU by doing what is right.
Wednesday, September 18, 2013
When the lights went out
Okay - this isn't a dramatic story of a big ice storm or dangerous tornado. It's actually rather mundane, and that's why I think it's worth noting. Let me explain.
It was a Monday (in more ways than just the day of the week). It had been an extremely busy day at work, filled with lots of catching up and unexpected meetings that took time I needed to spend on other projects. I worked late, and just had the urge to go home and veg out. I even stopped to pick up some microwave popcorn, as I thought I 'deserved' a reward.
I came up to my driveway and hit my garage door button. Nothing. Okay, the button can be temperamental. Tried it again. Nope. Sitting in front of the garage door - definitely in range. Nada. So I get out, open the car door and unlock my people door to the garage. I've already started thinking about how this is an inconvenience, and tomorrow morning I'm going to have to put the door up from the inside, back out, go back in and put the door down, then go out through the people door. Well, I push the button inside the garage. Nothing. Now I'm really puzzled. I look up at the ceiling (you know, in case the garage door opener has a neon sign explaining why it won't cooperate), but don't see random pieces hanging at odd angles.
I get a bad feeling in my stomach, and I go to look at my freezer. No light. I look at the outlet where the freezer is plugged in. My mind must be playing tricks on me - if the freezer is plugged in, the light should be on. Then it sinks in - no power.
Great - just what I wanted after a crazy day. A day where I worked at not being stressed out, even with so many things needing my attention. I was good! I didn't get frustrated with co-workers, I tried to be gracious with interruptions, and this is the thanks I get? Not my finest response, but it was very human.
As I went to check out the breaker box (while still turning on light switches out of habit), I thought about all the things "I" planned to get done. None of them could be accomplished without electricity. This day was throwing more wrenches into my plans than I thought possible. Couldn't I get a break? I checked everything I knew to check, called in my outage, and then I called my sister. I wanted some advice and a ear for my whining. First things first - did I pay my electric bill? Ha ha. Not the response I was looking for. "Yes, I did," I responded. Next step - check with the neighbors. Yep - no power there either. I felt a little better. I wasn't in this alone. My sister is being a good listener, up until I complain that I can't do anything without electricity. As soon as I said it - I knew I left myself wide open for her next comment. I knew, I just knew that she would tell me I could always pray. She said, "Maybe God was trying to tell you something." Okay - here it comes, I should pray, I shouldn't complain, keep things in perspective, etc. But her next sentence wasn't what I expected.
"Maybe the electricity went out so you would call me and I could hear your voice on a Monday." Wait, what? Here I was all wrapped up in my 'problems', and my sister was just happy that I called her on a Monday (our typical day to talk is Wednesday). That threw me off. She was happy to hear from me. We shared our mutual 'case of the Mondays' stories, and I felt so much better. If the lights hadn't stopped working (along with every other electronic gadget in my home), I wouldn't have reached out to her and the chance for sharing each others burdens would have been missed.
I know, nothing earth-shattering about this story, and that's why it hits me even more. Life isn't point A to point B alone. It all the in-between stuff as well. Sometimes it's big and sometimes it's small. And sometimes it's dark, but that can be okay too :-)
Prayer - Lord, help me to shut off the distractions in my life. Sometimes I need a reminder that connecting with another person is more important than my to-do list. I have opportunities all around me, but I don't always take advantages of those times, especially when they are disguised as inconveniences or disruptions to my plans. Help me rely on Your plan and Your timing.
It was a Monday (in more ways than just the day of the week). It had been an extremely busy day at work, filled with lots of catching up and unexpected meetings that took time I needed to spend on other projects. I worked late, and just had the urge to go home and veg out. I even stopped to pick up some microwave popcorn, as I thought I 'deserved' a reward.
I came up to my driveway and hit my garage door button. Nothing. Okay, the button can be temperamental. Tried it again. Nope. Sitting in front of the garage door - definitely in range. Nada. So I get out, open the car door and unlock my people door to the garage. I've already started thinking about how this is an inconvenience, and tomorrow morning I'm going to have to put the door up from the inside, back out, go back in and put the door down, then go out through the people door. Well, I push the button inside the garage. Nothing. Now I'm really puzzled. I look up at the ceiling (you know, in case the garage door opener has a neon sign explaining why it won't cooperate), but don't see random pieces hanging at odd angles.
I get a bad feeling in my stomach, and I go to look at my freezer. No light. I look at the outlet where the freezer is plugged in. My mind must be playing tricks on me - if the freezer is plugged in, the light should be on. Then it sinks in - no power.
Great - just what I wanted after a crazy day. A day where I worked at not being stressed out, even with so many things needing my attention. I was good! I didn't get frustrated with co-workers, I tried to be gracious with interruptions, and this is the thanks I get? Not my finest response, but it was very human.
As I went to check out the breaker box (while still turning on light switches out of habit), I thought about all the things "I" planned to get done. None of them could be accomplished without electricity. This day was throwing more wrenches into my plans than I thought possible. Couldn't I get a break? I checked everything I knew to check, called in my outage, and then I called my sister. I wanted some advice and a ear for my whining. First things first - did I pay my electric bill? Ha ha. Not the response I was looking for. "Yes, I did," I responded. Next step - check with the neighbors. Yep - no power there either. I felt a little better. I wasn't in this alone. My sister is being a good listener, up until I complain that I can't do anything without electricity. As soon as I said it - I knew I left myself wide open for her next comment. I knew, I just knew that she would tell me I could always pray. She said, "Maybe God was trying to tell you something." Okay - here it comes, I should pray, I shouldn't complain, keep things in perspective, etc. But her next sentence wasn't what I expected.
"Maybe the electricity went out so you would call me and I could hear your voice on a Monday." Wait, what? Here I was all wrapped up in my 'problems', and my sister was just happy that I called her on a Monday (our typical day to talk is Wednesday). That threw me off. She was happy to hear from me. We shared our mutual 'case of the Mondays' stories, and I felt so much better. If the lights hadn't stopped working (along with every other electronic gadget in my home), I wouldn't have reached out to her and the chance for sharing each others burdens would have been missed.
I know, nothing earth-shattering about this story, and that's why it hits me even more. Life isn't point A to point B alone. It all the in-between stuff as well. Sometimes it's big and sometimes it's small. And sometimes it's dark, but that can be okay too :-)
Prayer - Lord, help me to shut off the distractions in my life. Sometimes I need a reminder that connecting with another person is more important than my to-do list. I have opportunities all around me, but I don't always take advantages of those times, especially when they are disguised as inconveniences or disruptions to my plans. Help me rely on Your plan and Your timing.
Thursday, September 12, 2013
Song of Despair
I don't know what it is about the song from Joseph and the Technicolor Dreamcoat, Close Every Door, but it has a powerful message. Take a listen:
Now, regardless of your favorite actor in the role of Joseph, you have to admit that the lyrics are pretty intense. Quick background to the story, Joseph is wrongly accused and imprisoned because he would not compromise his morals. He has already suffered the betrayal of his brothers, the humiliation of being sold as a slave, and just received an unjust accusation by a powerful man. The future isn't looking so good. Despite all that, Joseph has hope. He acknowledges the hurt, betrayal, and pain, but he has faith that there is more to his story.
Realize - Joseph isn't discounting his value or his life, but he recognizes that God is so much bigger than his current troubles. I especially like the line that says, "I know the answers are far from this world." I think that directly relates to the human tendency to ask 'WHY?". In the song, we hear that Joseph realizes he doesn't know why these things happened, and he knows he doesn't understand the reasons, but he trusts God. God is faithful.
There are any number of verses in Scripture that relate to that very thought, and here are just a few.
While these may not satisfy our desire to know why or wrap our minds around pain and suffering, we can be assured that the God who created us and loves us, will NEVER abandon us. We cannot use our human concept of faithfulness to understand God's covenant with us. Humans can fail, we can disappoint; we can hurt those we love. God is love, and God's love is perfect. As we hear in 1 Corinthians:
Ultimately, Joseph's story doesn't end in prison. He experiences a complete reversal in his fortune, and, through the divine grace of God's plan and Joseph's willingness to submit to that plan, Joseph ends up saving his family from the famine. God's plan was so much bigger than Joseph's current trial.
I challenge you to consider your current struggles. Is there a situation that you are questioning and you feel that you have been unjustly accused, humiliated, or betrayed? I cannot tell you why these things happen or how exactly they will be used for good, but I know that we can trust God. There is a plan.
Prayer - God, when I am in the midst of a trial and I cannot see beyond the hurt, anger, frustration or pain, soothe my soul with Your grace. Speak the truth to my heart, reminding me that You are in control. I pray that I can fully trust that You are faithful.
Now, regardless of your favorite actor in the role of Joseph, you have to admit that the lyrics are pretty intense. Quick background to the story, Joseph is wrongly accused and imprisoned because he would not compromise his morals. He has already suffered the betrayal of his brothers, the humiliation of being sold as a slave, and just received an unjust accusation by a powerful man. The future isn't looking so good. Despite all that, Joseph has hope. He acknowledges the hurt, betrayal, and pain, but he has faith that there is more to his story.
Realize - Joseph isn't discounting his value or his life, but he recognizes that God is so much bigger than his current troubles. I especially like the line that says, "I know the answers are far from this world." I think that directly relates to the human tendency to ask 'WHY?". In the song, we hear that Joseph realizes he doesn't know why these things happened, and he knows he doesn't understand the reasons, but he trusts God. God is faithful.
There are any number of verses in Scripture that relate to that very thought, and here are just a few.
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him and he will make your paths straight." ~Proverbs 3:5-6
"Know therefore that the Lord your God is God; he is the faithful God, keeping his covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep his commandments." ~Deuteronomy 7:9
"I will praise you with the harp for your faithfulness, my God; I will sing praise to you with the lyre, Holy One of Israel." ~Psalm 71:22
"God is faithful, who has called you into fellowship with his Son, Jesus Christ our Lord." ~1 Corinthians 1:9
"But Christ is faithful as the Son over God's house. And we are his house, if indeed we hold firmly to our confidence and the hope in which we glory." ~Hebrews 3:5-7
While these may not satisfy our desire to know why or wrap our minds around pain and suffering, we can be assured that the God who created us and loves us, will NEVER abandon us. We cannot use our human concept of faithfulness to understand God's covenant with us. Humans can fail, we can disappoint; we can hurt those we love. God is love, and God's love is perfect. As we hear in 1 Corinthians:
"Love never fails . . . " ~Corinthians 13:8a
Ultimately, Joseph's story doesn't end in prison. He experiences a complete reversal in his fortune, and, through the divine grace of God's plan and Joseph's willingness to submit to that plan, Joseph ends up saving his family from the famine. God's plan was so much bigger than Joseph's current trial.
I challenge you to consider your current struggles. Is there a situation that you are questioning and you feel that you have been unjustly accused, humiliated, or betrayed? I cannot tell you why these things happen or how exactly they will be used for good, but I know that we can trust God. There is a plan.
Prayer - God, when I am in the midst of a trial and I cannot see beyond the hurt, anger, frustration or pain, soothe my soul with Your grace. Speak the truth to my heart, reminding me that You are in control. I pray that I can fully trust that You are faithful.
Tuesday, September 03, 2013
Worn
This has been my go-to song since I went to the Tenth Avenue North concert (see post, lyrics, and music video here). As I was driving back from my parents, I played this song over and over so I could learn all of the notes and words. The message, the honesty, the melody; I love it all. While I'm driving and thoroughly enjoying this music, I think to myself, 'This is a song I would want to have when I struggle.' See, on that Sunday morning, life was great. I had just spent time with family, had a nice change of scenery, and was excited to get back to Newman for Mass and a Baptism. I enjoyed the song, but perhaps from more of a distance; the way one might appreciate a work of art.
Fast forward to the present. I'm working on a big project that takes all of my free time, and it hasn't been smooth sailing. Work was both a 'Monday' and a 'Tuesday' combined - double-whammy of stuff to accomplish. My to do lists are growing like weeds and multiplying like rabbits (don't ask me how). My phone keeps receiving emails and texts from people who need things - information, my time, my knowledge. Now none of this is catastrophic by any means. But when you add it all together, it's a bit . . . well . . . wearing.
I found this interesting in two ways. One - the reminder to enjoy right now, because things can and will change. I certainly wasn't praying for the opportunity to use that song as my prayer. I wasn't secretly hoping to be in the position of feeling worn. I am, however, thankful that I had discovered this song which so eloquently expressed my thoughts. Which leads me to number two - even though my current predicament is frustrating - it is 'small potatoes'. There are so many worse things which I could be facing. But that is exactly what is so amazing about this song, and even more awesome about our God. Everything is relative, and perspective is a good thing, however, in that moment, I was tired. But I could relate to this song on so many levels, from the superficial stresses, to the loss of my niece, to whatever challenge I am facing right now. Big or small, it fits. Same goes for God. I can trust God with my struggles, with my fears, my pain, my loss, my petty grievances, my anger - all of it! God wants me to give it all - big or small, insignificant or life-changing. So whether my soul feels crushed because of sin, imbalance in my life, or too many things on my to-do list, God is right here, with arms open, waiting for me to release my burden.
Prayer - God, I am worn. Today it is the small things I have let build up. I have allowed distractions to take my focus off of You. Help me re-balance myself in You by letting go of my burdens, big and small. I can trust You with all parts of my life, even the frustrating and mundane. Help me seek You at all times.
Fast forward to the present. I'm working on a big project that takes all of my free time, and it hasn't been smooth sailing. Work was both a 'Monday' and a 'Tuesday' combined - double-whammy of stuff to accomplish. My to do lists are growing like weeds and multiplying like rabbits (don't ask me how). My phone keeps receiving emails and texts from people who need things - information, my time, my knowledge. Now none of this is catastrophic by any means. But when you add it all together, it's a bit . . . well . . . wearing.
I found this interesting in two ways. One - the reminder to enjoy right now, because things can and will change. I certainly wasn't praying for the opportunity to use that song as my prayer. I wasn't secretly hoping to be in the position of feeling worn. I am, however, thankful that I had discovered this song which so eloquently expressed my thoughts. Which leads me to number two - even though my current predicament is frustrating - it is 'small potatoes'. There are so many worse things which I could be facing. But that is exactly what is so amazing about this song, and even more awesome about our God. Everything is relative, and perspective is a good thing, however, in that moment, I was tired. But I could relate to this song on so many levels, from the superficial stresses, to the loss of my niece, to whatever challenge I am facing right now. Big or small, it fits. Same goes for God. I can trust God with my struggles, with my fears, my pain, my loss, my petty grievances, my anger - all of it! God wants me to give it all - big or small, insignificant or life-changing. So whether my soul feels crushed because of sin, imbalance in my life, or too many things on my to-do list, God is right here, with arms open, waiting for me to release my burden.
Prayer - God, I am worn. Today it is the small things I have let build up. I have allowed distractions to take my focus off of You. Help me re-balance myself in You by letting go of my burdens, big and small. I can trust You with all parts of my life, even the frustrating and mundane. Help me seek You at all times.
Tuesday, August 20, 2013
Tenth Avenue North
I recently had the privilege to attend a Tenth Avenue North Concert. I've been a fan of their music for several years, after a good friend introduced me to it. I've mentioned one of my favorite songs by them, Hold My Heart (read the post here) on this blog. I love the music, the lyrics, the message, all of it! But at the concert I got to hear some of their newest music, from the album Struggle. I was especially drawn to the song "Worn". Check it out:
Prayer - God, I'm struggling with myself. I am tired and weary. Grant me the grace to see that You are always present, offering hope and redemption. I only need to say yes.
Worn(Mike Donehey, Jeff Owen, Jason Ingram) | ||
I'm tired, I'm worn
My heart is heavy From the work it takes To keep on breathing I've made mistakes I've let my hope fail My soul feels crushed By the weight of this world And I know that You can give me rest So I cry out with all that I have left
Let me see redemption win
Let me know the struggle ends That You can mend a heart that's frail and torn |
I wanna know a song can rise
From the ashes of a broken life And all that's dead inside can be reborn ‘Cause I'm worn
I know I need
To lift my eyes up But I'm too weak Life just won't let up And I know that You can give me rest So I cry out with all that I have left |
My prayers are wearing thin
I'm worn Even before the day begins I'm worn I've lost my will to fight I'm worn So Heaven come and flood my eyes
Yes, all that's dead inside will be reborn
Though, I'm worn I'm worn |
© 2012 Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, West Main Music, Formerly Music, Prepare for the Zombie Apocalypse, and Open Hands Music. All rights on behalf of Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, West Main Music, Formerly Music, Prepare for the Zombie Apocalypse and Open Hands Music administered by Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, 8 Music Square West, Nashville TN 37203.
Wow. The lyrics speak to me, reminding me that even in my challenges, my human-ness, there is hope. I love the imagery of new life, and the message is so honest. "I'm worn." How often do we try to present a different picture? Show others only our good stuff because, gasp, we don't want them to figure out that we aren't perfect! Who exactly are we fooling? It's okay to be worn. It's okay to be tired and empty. These are all seasons of life. But we need to remember that the sun (and the Son) will come again, and it will be a new day. There is hope and redemption - not just if we feel like, but especially when we don't.
This next clip is a video journal of Mike Donehey sharing a bit of his story and how this song came to be. He has been on an amazing journey, and this clip doesn't do it justice, but check it out.
| ||
Prayer - God, I'm struggling with myself. I am tired and weary. Grant me the grace to see that You are always present, offering hope and redemption. I only need to say yes.
Saturday, August 17, 2013
The day after
I recently witnessed the wedding of some good friends, and it was a lovely day (read about it here). But I had some interesting thoughts the next morning as I re-lived the morning of July 4, 2012. That was the day my niece was killed in a single-car accident. It also happened to be the day after her brother's wedding.
I've played for, attended, and helped plan lots of weddings in the time since then, but I guess I didn't have one that tied so closely to my experience. My friend who got married has been like a sister to me, and I just tried to imagine if the day after her beautiful wedding, she found out one of her sisters was dead. When I first had that thought, I immediately wanted to banish it. Who thinks such sad things after a day as wonderful as the one we experienced? But life does not have any guarantees. Our lives are but a breath, and we are not in control. I have felt this first-hand with the death of my beautiful niece.
One of my favorite songs that speaks to me when I am hurting is Tenth Avenue North - Hold My Heart. Give it a listen, or read the lyrics below. There are going to be bad days and bad moments. Times when you struggle and feel lost. It may last for a while, or be gone before you have time to think. These feelings are real, and I encourage you to turn it over to God. For God, the Creator of everything, can hold your heart as no one in this world can.
Prayer - God, you know when I am at my breaking point and I can no longer be without You. Help me to give You my heart, to let You support me and guide me. With your strength, I can be whole.
I've played for, attended, and helped plan lots of weddings in the time since then, but I guess I didn't have one that tied so closely to my experience. My friend who got married has been like a sister to me, and I just tried to imagine if the day after her beautiful wedding, she found out one of her sisters was dead. When I first had that thought, I immediately wanted to banish it. Who thinks such sad things after a day as wonderful as the one we experienced? But life does not have any guarantees. Our lives are but a breath, and we are not in control. I have felt this first-hand with the death of my beautiful niece.
One of my favorite songs that speaks to me when I am hurting is Tenth Avenue North - Hold My Heart. Give it a listen, or read the lyrics below. There are going to be bad days and bad moments. Times when you struggle and feel lost. It may last for a while, or be gone before you have time to think. These feelings are real, and I encourage you to turn it over to God. For God, the Creator of everything, can hold your heart as no one in this world can.
Prayer - God, you know when I am at my breaking point and I can no longer be without You. Help me to give You my heart, to let You support me and guide me. With your strength, I can be whole.
Hold My HeartMike Donehey / Jason Ingram / Phillip LaRue | ||
| How long must I pray Must I pray to You? How long must I wait Must I wait for You? How long till I see Your face See You shining through I'm on my knees Begging You to notice me I'm on my knees Father, will You turn to me One tear in the driving rain One voice in a sea of pain Could the maker of the stars | Hear the sound of my breaking heart One life, that's all I am Right now I can barely stand If You're everything You say You are Would You come close and hold my heart I've been so afraid, afraid to close my eyes So much can slip away before I say goodbye But if there's no other way I'm done asking why | So many questions without answers Your promises remain I can't see but I'll take my chances To hear you call my name To hear you call my name |
Thursday, August 15, 2013
20th Sunday in Ordinary Time - part 1
http://usccb.org/bible/readings/081813.cfm
Lots of good stuff for the weekend liturgy.
Quick synopsis:
1st Reading - Jeremiah - Basically the prophet Jeremiah preaches the truth to Israel, and they don't like what he has to say, so they throw him in a cistern.
Psalm - Lord, come to my aid! Even when we are feeling utterly lost or abandoned, our God is present.
2nd Reading - Hebrews - Jesus Christ took the ultimate shame of dying on a cross and redeemed it and us!
Gospel - Luke - Household will be divided upon itself. Basic message - God comes first.
My translation:
It's always interesting to see how the scripture unfolds and what message may emerge. Tonight we discussed the idea of division. One of the reflections in Living Liturgy says, ". . . that neither Jesus nor we choose division and strife; we choose to speak God's word and preach the values consistent with God's reign. Division occur simply by being faithful to God's message." In the first reading, Jeremiah was preaching God's Word, and his audience didn't like what he had to say. Their solution was to silence the truth-teller by throwing him in a well. When Jesus preached, many didn't like His ideas, and they crucified Him. Jeremiah and Jesus didn't seek to 'stir things up' and create division, but division is certainly a potential side-effect of following Christ.
One part of our conversation was about the household divided. On the surface it seems so anti-love (aka anti-Jesus' message). But when you read the context and understanding the meaning behind it, you get a different picture. Our call to discipleship is so complete that we cannot have distractions, attachments, or anything between us and God. It is a steep price, but the reward is beyond all knowledge. Two Sundays ago (see post here), we were encouraged to let go of earthly things - possessions, stuff, materialistic pursuits, etc. I think today's message is urging us to go even deeper than 'stuff'. There is no dulling the bluntness of a truth which we try to avoid: God is first. No ifs, ands, or buts about it. It is only when we completely embrace the cross of Jesus and become a disciple that we live the Gospel.
Prayer - God, you know my heart and You know when I avoid speaking up because it's hard, or when I intentionally stir up chaos even if I know I shouldn't. Help me to accept division as a by-product of Gospel living, not a weapon to be wielded against others. May my actions speak loud enough for others to recognize my devotion to You.
Part 2 coming soon!
Lots of good stuff for the weekend liturgy.
Quick synopsis:
1st Reading - Jeremiah - Basically the prophet Jeremiah preaches the truth to Israel, and they don't like what he has to say, so they throw him in a cistern.
Psalm - Lord, come to my aid! Even when we are feeling utterly lost or abandoned, our God is present.
2nd Reading - Hebrews - Jesus Christ took the ultimate shame of dying on a cross and redeemed it and us!
Gospel - Luke - Household will be divided upon itself. Basic message - God comes first.
My translation:
It's always interesting to see how the scripture unfolds and what message may emerge. Tonight we discussed the idea of division. One of the reflections in Living Liturgy says, ". . . that neither Jesus nor we choose division and strife; we choose to speak God's word and preach the values consistent with God's reign. Division occur simply by being faithful to God's message." In the first reading, Jeremiah was preaching God's Word, and his audience didn't like what he had to say. Their solution was to silence the truth-teller by throwing him in a well. When Jesus preached, many didn't like His ideas, and they crucified Him. Jeremiah and Jesus didn't seek to 'stir things up' and create division, but division is certainly a potential side-effect of following Christ.
One part of our conversation was about the household divided. On the surface it seems so anti-love (aka anti-Jesus' message). But when you read the context and understanding the meaning behind it, you get a different picture. Our call to discipleship is so complete that we cannot have distractions, attachments, or anything between us and God. It is a steep price, but the reward is beyond all knowledge. Two Sundays ago (see post here), we were encouraged to let go of earthly things - possessions, stuff, materialistic pursuits, etc. I think today's message is urging us to go even deeper than 'stuff'. There is no dulling the bluntness of a truth which we try to avoid: God is first. No ifs, ands, or buts about it. It is only when we completely embrace the cross of Jesus and become a disciple that we live the Gospel.
Prayer - God, you know my heart and You know when I avoid speaking up because it's hard, or when I intentionally stir up chaos even if I know I shouldn't. Help me to accept division as a by-product of Gospel living, not a weapon to be wielded against others. May my actions speak loud enough for others to recognize my devotion to You.
Part 2 coming soon!
Monday, August 12, 2013
Patience
Some days I want to say, "Lord, give me patience, and give it to me right now!" Why is patience so hard? I can think of a few possible reasons:
1. We are a society of instant gratification. We don't have to wait for food (fast food), movies (on-demand video & DVR), music (iTunes), so why should we have to wait for God?
2. It is culturally acceptable to be "me" focused. When we focus on ourselves and our wants instead of other people we become even more demanding and less patient.
3. We are relationship-deprived. Our communication methods focus less on building a relationship and more on superficial interactions.
4. We are a sideline society. We expect to be entertained rather than be engaged.
I'm sure there are a great deal more items that could be listed. It all ads up to a whole lot of people who haven't had the opportunity (or maybe, more accurately, haven't wanted the opportunity) to learn patience. Patience has a different appearance.
1. Patience asks us to wait. We may not like waiting, but we are able to slow down the chaotic pace of our lives when we realize that waiting is natural. Who doesn't like to get out of the frenzy of the demands in our life?
2. Patience means sometimes putting others first. It's not that we are never first, or always last, but that we see others' needs as well as our own. We learn the gratification that comes from fulfilling another person's desires. Which ties directly into . . .
3. Patience needs others to work best. When we involve others in our lives, we begin to learn and care about them. This makes it a little easier to be patient and may even increase our desire to put someone else first.
4. Patience, while it can be experienced/struggled with alone, grows even more when we share our challenges with someone else. It can be God, a friend, confidant, or the person stuck in the elevator with you. If we participate in life, involving others, it makes the waiting easier to bear.
Yes, this is a narrow view of patience. Waiting on important news or medical test results may make it much harder to connect with the virtues of patience. But we are not meant to journey alone, so every time we are asked to wait, whether it is in our control or not, our journey is made easier when we share our burdens and our joys.
1. We are a society of instant gratification. We don't have to wait for food (fast food), movies (on-demand video & DVR), music (iTunes), so why should we have to wait for God?
2. It is culturally acceptable to be "me" focused. When we focus on ourselves and our wants instead of other people we become even more demanding and less patient.
3. We are relationship-deprived. Our communication methods focus less on building a relationship and more on superficial interactions.
4. We are a sideline society. We expect to be entertained rather than be engaged.
I'm sure there are a great deal more items that could be listed. It all ads up to a whole lot of people who haven't had the opportunity (or maybe, more accurately, haven't wanted the opportunity) to learn patience. Patience has a different appearance.
1. Patience asks us to wait. We may not like waiting, but we are able to slow down the chaotic pace of our lives when we realize that waiting is natural. Who doesn't like to get out of the frenzy of the demands in our life?
2. Patience means sometimes putting others first. It's not that we are never first, or always last, but that we see others' needs as well as our own. We learn the gratification that comes from fulfilling another person's desires. Which ties directly into . . .
3. Patience needs others to work best. When we involve others in our lives, we begin to learn and care about them. This makes it a little easier to be patient and may even increase our desire to put someone else first.
4. Patience, while it can be experienced/struggled with alone, grows even more when we share our challenges with someone else. It can be God, a friend, confidant, or the person stuck in the elevator with you. If we participate in life, involving others, it makes the waiting easier to bear.
Yes, this is a narrow view of patience. Waiting on important news or medical test results may make it much harder to connect with the virtues of patience. But we are not meant to journey alone, so every time we are asked to wait, whether it is in our control or not, our journey is made easier when we share our burdens and our joys.
Monday, July 30, 2012
Celebrating the gift of faith
If I had been able to vocalize this two weeks ago, my prayer would have been similar to the one I found in a Catholic Study Bible: “O God of the Weary, when exhaustion covers me like a blanket and I am unable to honor the promises I’ve made, send in a faithful disciple of prayer to stand beside me that I might feel their strength. Let their faithfulness seep into the pores of my skin and silence the enemies of my soul. When I begin to doubt the efficacy of prayer, surround me with people of faith.” What I love the most is that I didn’t have to even formulate this prayer, and God already answered it with you.
Now, my version goes like this: “O God of the Faithful, thank you for your presence in the Eucharist and in each person I meet. Words cannot express my gratefulness for your servants. I am in awe of your wisdom, for you have provided me with what I need before I even know to ask! Help me to cling to You in all things, for without You, I am dust. I echo the prayers of my ancestors, begging for unwavering faith in Your promises. ‘The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and he helps me. My heart leaps for joy, and with my song I praise him.’ (Psalm 28:7). May my lifesong continue to praise You.”
I know that I won’t be able to pray this every day; there will be days of sorrow and days of pain. But we know that for every thing, there is a season (Ecclesiastes 3:1). This journey is not to be taken lightly or traveled alone. So, for the gift of faith and the gift of my Christian community, I am thankful.
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