The day after

I recently witnessed the wedding of some good friends, and it was a lovely day (read about it here).  But I had some interesting thoughts the next morning as I re-lived the morning of July 4, 2012.  That was the day my niece was killed in a single-car accident.  It also happened to be the day after her brother's wedding.

I've played for, attended, and helped plan lots of weddings in the time since then, but I guess I didn't have one that tied so closely to my experience.  My friend who got married has been like a sister to me, and I just tried to imagine if the day after her beautiful wedding, she found out one of her sisters was dead.  When I first had that thought, I immediately wanted to banish it.  Who thinks such sad things after a day as wonderful as the one we experienced?  But life does not have any guarantees.  Our lives are but a breath, and we are not in control.  I have felt this first-hand with the death of my beautiful niece.

One of my favorite songs that speaks to me when I am hurting is Tenth Avenue North - Hold My Heart.  Give it a listen, or read the lyrics below.  There are going to be bad days and bad moments.  Times when you struggle and feel lost.  It may last for a while, or be gone before you have time to think.  These feelings are real, and I encourage you to turn it over to God.  For God, the Creator of everything, can hold your heart as no one in this world can.

Prayer - God, you know when I am at my breaking point and I can no longer be without You.  Help me to give You my heart, to let You support me and guide me.  With your strength, I can be whole.

Hold My Heart Mike Donehey / Jason Ingram / Phillip LaRue
How long must I pray Must I pray to You? How long must I wait Must I wait for You? How long till I see Your face See You shining through I'm on my knees Begging You to notice me I'm on my knees Father, will You turn to me One tear in the driving rain One voice in a sea of pain Could the maker of the stars	Hear the sound of my breaking heart One life, that's all I am Right now I can barely stand If You're everything You say You are Would You come close and hold my heart I've been so afraid, afraid to close my eyes So much can slip away before I say goodbye But if there's no other way I'm done asking why	So many questions without answers Your promises remain I can't see but I'll take my chances To hear you call my name To hear you call my name