It's Not Easy

Why does 'doing the right thing' have to be hard?  Why can't it be easy?  I really wanted to be mad at someone today.  I wanted to ignore them, and respond with curt answers to their questions, and let them know that I was not happy with them.  Fortunately (or unfortunately, depending on my mood), a little voice kept reminding me that I had to treat that person with respect, even if I was angry with them.  I guess that's the catch when you develop a good conscience - you can't turn it off!  It seems like life is going good, and then one day we get blindsided by something.  It doesn't even have to be something major; sometimes a little quirk or comment can do the trick.  From there, something else gets added to our plate, we learn about a deadline we have to quickly meet, and pretty soon we're overwhelmed, frustrated, and ready to pick a fight with anyone.  And yes, it's okay to feel those things, but it's not okay to lash out or be unreasonable.  And, for me, being angry and being reasonable don't ever walk hand in hand.  In the heat of the moment, I want to plot my strategy and plan my revenge.  It feels satisfying to have an outlet for the emotions brewing inside.  But, if I am lucky enough to listen, my conscience nudges me, making me remember that I did offer today up to God.  I get something like an elbow to the ribs, reminding me that I can't preach about goodness and love if I don't practice them, and that RIGHT NOW is a great time to start.  Once I wrap my mind around that, it's hard to hold onto my anger.  At that point it would be easy to berate myself and wonder if I will ever learn how to control my thoughts and actions, seeing how easy it was to get off track.  But I realize that recognizing my errors and working to correct them is pleasing to God.  Humans are not perfect (regardless of what I claim to the contrary), and why would we want to be?  Perfection is monotonous.  It might be exciting for a while, but without the peaks and valleys, it is flat and lifeless.  There is no potential.  In our lives, with all of our faults and weaknesses and gifts and talents the possibilities are endless.  And it is in those valleys that we can learn the biggest lessons and grow the most.  We also know that it can be a painful process, but ultimately it is worth the price.  So the next time I am faced with a difficult situation, I hope that I hear my conscience lecturing me to do the right thing, particularly when I don't want to, and that I do it, remembering that my effort to overcome is just as pleasing to God as the outcome.

Our Job

What exactly is our job?  Not necessarily our 'pay-the-bills' job, but the job we were given to do with our life?  We know we have a purpose, and at Church, we are told to do and be as Christ was to others.  So why doesn't that translate to our daily lives?  It seems as though our 'church lives' and our 'regular lives' don't always run parallel to each other.  On one hand, we know that we must be good people.  But good is such a vague term.  We could be good at frustrating others and goofing off, and I'm pretty sure that's NOT what it means.  At what point does the 'goodness' of our church lives intersect to the 'goodness' of our daily lives?  We hear about clothing the naked, but how do we actually do this?  The literal translation may be donating clothing to Goodwill or supporting the Salvation Army or a similar charity, but what about preserving human dignity, as Mother Teresa suggested?  Not tearing people down, taking away their self-respect and value?  Now this gets deeper - even to the sanctity of life.  This includes speaking up for those who can't, voting to protect life in all forms and ages, and reaching out to those we meet - stranger and friend.  That doesn't sound as simple and straightforward as donating old clothes we don't want.  And when it comes to our 'regular' job (the one that pays the bills), how does it enrich our lives and the lives of those around us?  If we are constantly worried about the next project, deadline, the latest gossip, and our frustrating boss, OR even if we are excited about the next project, deadline, latest gossip, or interesting co-worker, how does that fit into the grand scheme of things?  What does that have to do with our greater purpose?  So often, we move the focus from where it should be, and put it on things that, in the end, don't really matter.  I'm not suggesting that everyone quit doing their '9-5' job.  But perhaps it is not the best place to focus every last bit of our energy.  And, even if we do not focus ALL of our energy in our work, where else do we place it? Celebrity gossip magazines or websites and reality TV?  Computer surfing and video games?  Text messaging?  Activities which we consider to be important, and are not individually bad, but ultimately distract us from the real priorities in life?  How many times do we worry more about the bottom line, the latest sensational headline, or the plot on a TV show than we do about the people around us?  Whether it is the person (people) we live with, a co-worker at the next desk, or an acquaintance we greet in passing, they need and deserve our attention.  By being fully in the present and focusing on each person we meet (or live/work with), we are showing them that they are important; they matter to us.  Even a brief encounter can raise a weary soul and soothe a frazzled spirit.  By lifting up those in our lives, whether daily or once-in-a-lifetime, we are fulfilling a purpose that is unique to each of us.  For in that chance meeting we are doing a job that is more important than our daily toil and labor could ever be.  We are supporting a fellow human being; thus we are serving Christ.  And in that perfect moment, when we choose to focus on our neighbor, we are truly allowing our 'church life' to intersect our daily life.  In that moment, we become the body of Christ, fulfilling the job that only we can do, for which we were perfectly created.  

Big News

Why is it that we define our lives by news?  Usually the kinds of news that is good - a new job, a promotion, a  much-anticipated baby - is welcomed.  Maybe it is news that is bittersweet - the expected death of one who lived life well, or a close friend or family member who is moving away.  Perhaps the news appears devastating - medical illness, a tragic death, the loss of a job, or unexpected circumstances.  But it is the big news that seemingly shapes our lives.  The smaller stuff - favorite books or movies, talk about coming Holidays, what's for dinner - doesn't register on the radar.   But do we really recognize that big news, of any type, is an opportunity for us?  An opportunity to grow into the person we are called to be.  It's easier to see that opportunity with good news.  The emotional high and happiness that comes with good news is addicting.  Everyone congratulates us and wishes us well.  We bask in the feelings of pride and achievement.  And if the news is bittersweet, we console ourselves and eventually move on.  But when the news is not what we want to hear, it is nearly impossible to feel anything but despair.  We may become melancholy or even deny the situation, entirely missing the opportunity within.  While each circumstance is different, there is a grieving process involved.  If we open our minds and hearts to the opportunity, we will eventually be able to see it.  It takes time and it takes practice, and it is not easy.  Our lives appear to halt, until we can face the situation.  But we must have hope and faith, believing that the purpose is there.  For without hope, we cannot go on.  Without faith, life loses meaning.  And finally, we must trust.  Trust that there is a purpose for things we don't understand, and a reason for situations we cannot control, and an opportunity to be discovered, even in the midst of tragedy.  

Right Now!

It's hard sometimes, when we don't get what we want. Actually, it can be frustrating to realize that we are not in control, and cannot make something happen, or not happen, as the case may be. I know that there is a God who is All-Knowing and All-Loving. I also believe that when considering our prayers, requests, and/or demands, God does not reply, 'Well, My Child, let me get back to you on this matter. But in the meantime, I'm going to keep you busy with Problem A, Situation B, and Frustrating Person C. While you are stuck in the middle of A, B, and C, and don't know what to do, I'll be considering your petition. Don't forget - God loves you!' Yet, we put that mindset on God, assuming that God responds in a human fashion. In our world, we work with Yes/No situations and responses. Yes, I will help at that event. No, I cannot be at this gathering. Yes, I am ready for the presentation. No, I don't want to leave yet. Occasionally, a maybe or two creeps into our vocabulary if we aren't ready to give a definitive Yes/No, but there is always some type of response, usually immediate. So it can be rather challenging for us humans to accept the other possible, and most likely response from God - silence. Because we require an immediate answer, we interpret the silence into something we can understand - 'No'. However, this does not fit with the image of a God who cares about us. We must overcome our human tendancy to expect an immediate response and accept the response we receive - silence. So what does this silence mean? It may mean 'Wait'. Patience is something we are not good at. When we are hungry, we eat. When we are thirsty, we drink. When we want something, we buy it. Now, now, now! So, when we are faced with silence, we are in a situation we cannot control or change, and we assume the worst. This is when we can become bitter, thinking that God doesn't care about us. Or we decide that we are self-reliant - we don't need God. Either way, God's not worth the hassle. However, if we are able to rise above our tendancies and actually listen, our answer is in the silence. God's not done. We haven't been told 'No'. We have been asked to 'Wait'. Waiting is always hard, especially when it is something near and dear to our hearts. It goes against our nature. Waiting means that God has a plan, a plan which will work for our good, but we need to have faith. Waiting means that we must cultivate our patience and trust. None of this is easy. But once we get our eyes off of OUR goals and expectations, we will see that God is there, waiting. Lucky for us, God's patience is eternal, and God's love is everlasting. When we hear the silence, and accept the message, we will see God, with arms open wide, waiting for us. And we are reminded that God was waiting, all along, for us to accept the plan. Not our plan, but God's plan. Even if we don't understand it, or why we must wait, we know that God is there, reminding us to have faith and trust. For the plan will unfold in God's time, not ours. That means we must wait.

Tick-Tock

Tick-tock, tick-tock. It's 2 in the morning, and all I can hear is my ticking clock, reminding me of all the seconds going by when I could have been sleeping. And what's worse, I have the starts of a lovely head cold, so I went to bed early (yesterday? several hours ago?). And then, I am woken up by my neighbor, calling for her cat, outside my bedroom window. Me, being the light sleeper that I am, woke up. Me, also being of confused mind, has a brain that says 'I'm awake, time to start thinking of all the things that have to be done, what I need to do at work, when I'm going to finish my homework, remembering that I haven't done this yet, etc. etc. etc.'. To add insult to injury, I am sitting in my chair, blowing my nose like it's the fashionable thing to have a red, sore nose, wishing I was in bed, thinking that everything is rather peaceful at 2 AM, and LISTENING TO MY CLOCK! I can't think of a worse sound to focus on. Every tick reminds me that I should be in bed, that tomorrow is going to be a long day, and I need sleep to fight this cold. Yes, those are all true thoughts. But what about the gift of another second? Okay, this is a hard sell, especially in the middle of the night. I'd much rather be sleeping. But think about it. I have been given another second to be alive, to appreciate the gifts I have been given, and the time I have to use wisely. It's hard to stop and appreciate the gift of time anymore, especially with cell phones and electronic clocks. Not much is around that goes tick-tock. And while right now that sound grates on my nerves, there is some good behind it. I am alive (not a gift to be taken for granted). I have a fresh start, and I can choose my attitude. Besides, we all know that it is harder to fall asleep if one is grumpy. So what do I have to gain by being upset? More sleeplessness??? And once I get passed the frustration and the focus on my so-called problems, something else occurs to me. I have been given an opportunity to pray. What?! Who thinks about praying at 2 AM? Not me, usually. But obviously there is something important to pray about. The possibilities are astounding, and, in comparison, they make my moments of sleeplessness seem less catastrophic. So while I can't promise that the next time I wake up in the middle of the night, for whatever reason, that I will immediately begin to pray, I can try. And that's almost as good as doing it.

Frustration

We all have days when we want to pull our hair out and scream as loud as we can.  Maybe not specifically at somebody, but more as a way of releasing pent up frustration.  This can be frustration towards oneself, to a circumstance beyond our control, someone else’s behavior, or even bad timing.  It seems as though problems conspire against us, building up, until one day they pounce, taking us by surprise.  Of course, when that moment arrives, inevitably, we forget everything we learned about good behavior.  Gone is the pleasant demeanor, the patience, and any trace of a smile.  It is easy to tell someone to step back and take a deep breath, but when it happens to us, all rational thought flies out the door.  What’s the answer?  Unfortunately, there isn’t a fix-all or magic button.  Perhaps giving ourselves permission to be frustrated or angry or upset (but not AT someone).  We need to take a few moments, preferably away from others, and get that out of our system.  It won’t fix the problem, change the circumstances, or make someone disappear, but it will give us a new perspective.  And more importantly, the ability to calmly handle whatever crisis we must face.  Plus the added benefits of no regretting quick tempers or harsh words or higher blood pressure!

Perfection

I am not perfect, but I am perfectly made.  What does that mean exactly?  As a human being, I will never be perfect.  Now honestly, some days that would bother me, and other days I could care less.  But on the days it matters, I struggle.  If perfection is unattainable - why bother?   What's the point?  Why do I work so hard to attempt to achieve the impossible?  And yet, I know that who I am is perfect.  I have a purpose that only I can fulfill.  I am the only being capable of using my particular abilities to achieve my specific purpose.  What is more perfect than that?  I am the only key that can open the lock.  No duplicates will suffice.  Regardless of my challenges or self-labeled imperfections, my entire being is a perfect creation with a perfect purpose.

Second Chances

Isn't it great that we have second chances?  Not only do we get to have a fresh start whenever we want, we are encouraged to do so!  I used to have this idea that if I tried something and didn't succeed, then I failed.  No opportunity for redemption, do not pass go, game over.  Talk about pressure!  Not only would that put me in a no-win situation, but why would I ever want to try anything new?  Especially with such a strong incentive to stick with the 'status quo'.  It was intimidating.  But I realized that I should really think of my attempts as stepping stones.  If I don't get something completely right the first time, I've still learned from the experience.  At the very least, I know what doesn't work!  But more importantly, I have improved my knowledge and now have experience I can use to reach my goal.  So even with a minor (or major) detour, I can still move forward.  

One step at a time

You can only give of yourself if you know what you have to give.  That makes sense.  I can't give that which I don't know exists.  I also can't give of that which I have depleted.  So, if I am to use my gifts appropriately and to their fullest capacity, I must identify what they are, and take care of them (and myself).  I believe that everyone has gifts and talents that they are called to share.  Unfortunately, however, we don't always hear or understand that call.  In the jumble of our busy lives, it may go unnoticed, or ignored.  An opportunity passes by, without us ever realizing.  How can we be open to that call, if we are not first open to the possibility?  Our hearts and minds must be prepared so we do not miss it.  This requires a commitment on our part; a commitment to our faith and to the belief that we have a responsibility to share.  Our lives are not meant to  be lived in isolation.  We worship in community for a reason:  we must help each other.  Sometimes that means we need to rely on others, so they can use their gifts and talents.  Other times, we are the ones who must step up and support those around us.  But this participation must be precipitated by a heart that is open to the call.  How does one open one's heart to such a call?  Through education and understanding.  How can we even begin to hope to understand God, if we are not reading God's Word and praying daily?  Without those tools to give us insight into God's call, our task would seem overwhelming.  Instead, we have a patient God, who meets us where we are and gives us the desire and graces we need, if we only ask.