Three days before Ash Wednesday 2017, there was a change that happened. It came without fanfare, without pomp and circumstance. It would forever impact my life, my family, and my heart, but it was disguised as ordinary life. On that day, February 26, 2017, Mom was admitted to the hospital, never to return home. While this moment was unexpected and alarming, I did not anticipate the path we were on, and where it would lead. Life became Lent, and Lent became my life, although I wouldn't truly recognize this until much later.
Now, 307 days later, the journey begins and, simultaneously, it continues. The Circle of Life, the beauty of Catholicism, the story of my faith. One year older, and hopefully a little wiser, Lent begins this week, whether I'm ready or not. I have mixed emotions: anticipation, trepidation and a longing to go deeper. I received some preparation the year I made a pilgrimage to the Holy Land. Walking the roads and being physically present brought the Passion alive in ways I never expected. My experience of Lent a few weeks later that year was more than it had been before. I believe the same will be true this year, as I re-live Lent and Mom's journey to eternal life.
There are still things I haven't learned, things I've learned and forgotten, or things I've chosen to ignore; Lent is a time of repentance and renewal, the opportunity to start over and try again. One of my favorite Bible verses, which I originally clung to when Tasha died, is from Revelation:
"He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there shall be no more wailing or pain, the old order has passed away." ~Revelation 21:4
Hope. Life. Light.
I love the timing of the liturgical year; as we endure the cold winter, we long for spring and new life. The days slowly lengthen, as daylight claims more of the darkness. It is a time of renewal and change. Though we may desire the change of seasons, change itself is difficult, requiring a period of preparation and even sacrifice. One thing must end for another to start. Too easily we can focus on the endings, instead of anticipating or embracing the beginnings.
So, as we begin Lent 2018, how will you live this time of preparation? In this season of change, I want to work on the basics: simplifying and bringing God into all aspects of my life. I desire Heaven, and so that is how I want to live. This won't be easy, as I am all too human. That's why I appreciate the genius of Catholicism in showing me the way, and an awesome community of faith-filled people who help and support each other. Let us, together, build God's Kingdom!
Prayer: Lord, You know me. You know every part of my inmost being, and You love me completely. I long to know You more. Help me to open myself to the change You desire for me. Keep me steadfast when I would falter, hold me close when I would turn back, and grant me a glimpse of Your unconditional love for me.
"We know that all things work for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose." ~Romans 8:28
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