4th Sunday of Advent - God is with us

http://usccb.org/bible/readings/122213.cfm

Quick recap:
1st reading - Isaiah 7 - Ahaz is not trusting God, and answers with false humility that he will not ask for a sign from God.  Isaiah's response is the prophecy of Jesus Christ!
Psalm 24 - Let the Lord enter; he is king of glory.
Epistle - Romans 1 - we are called to be holy apostles.
Gospel - Matthew 1 - Joseph's encounter with the angel after learning Mary was pregnant.

Emmanuel means "God is with us."  Jesus means "God saves the people from their sins."  According to Living Liturgy 2014, "the names reveal that the very Presence of God among us is a saving Presence."  What an amazing gift we have in Christ.  We also hear references to the role of the Holy Spirit.  We have learned of the willingness of Joseph and Mary to cooperate with the Holy Spirit.  Today, we are called to continue to that saving work by our participation with the Spirit.  In the psalm, we proclaim our anticipation for our Lord.  May we not lose sight of this joy throughout our lives.

Prayer - Lord, ready or not, Christmas is upon us.  May we pause in our frantic, last-minute tasks to appreciate the celebration of the amazing mystery that is about to unfold.  Mary and Joseph's cooperation in God's plan of salvation can be continued today in my "yes" to Your call.

Thankful Thursday 12/19 - The day I lost it

Ready or not, Christmas is almost here. So even though I inevitably have stress over some aspect of the holidays, I want to enjoy this season and immerse myself in its many gifts and blessings.
Therefore, I am thankful for the chaos that seems to go hand in hand with this time of year, if only because it signifies the bigger picture.

So, I have a little story about seeing the bigger picture.  It starts with a lovely lunch, visiting with friends.  We said our goodbyes, and slowly gathered up our gloves and coats since it was a bitter day.  I was the last to leave, and as I made my way to the door, I did the requisite check of phone, purse, keys.  Hmm, no keys.  I proceeded to check my coat pockets, purse, the booth where we sat, and my path in the building.  Nothing.  I walked to my car and peered inside - did they get locked in?  I couldn't tell.  Back inside, I asked if anyone had turned in some keys.  My mounting fear was proving true.  I was stuck.  My frantic prayers to St. Anthony were not providing instant results.  Trying not to panic, I called my brother and asked for a ride.  He came and got me, and we got my spare house key from his house, and then my spare car key from my house and returned to the scene.

Small blessings

I can't see things getting much better right now.  Tonight is a perfect Advent evening.  Mr. J and I are hanging out, and he once again reminds me that the simple things are enough.  He is currently asleep on my lap, Christmas music is playing, and the only light is the Christmas tree.  When did life get so complicated and busy?  It takes the eyes of a child to really see. 

[Interrupt for a doorbell that woke the sleeping baby :(]

After the rude awakening, we managed some snuggles, but Mr. J has since left and I am free to type with both hands.  As I was holding him, my thinking varied between enjoyment and reverence to mental to-do lists and plans of attack for said list.  I did wonder why the 'stuff' mattered so much?  Yes, I have things to do and places to be, but none of them are more important than taking a moment to give thanks to God for such a blessing as tonight.  

Prayer - Lord, thank you for the simple blessings.  Help me to recognize and appreciate them when they happen.

Reconciliation - it is a blessing

Today I participated in the reconciliation service.  I played piano, sang, prayed, and cried - it was wonderful!   I don't know what made this experience so moving.  I suspect there are many factors that came into play, so I'll try to share some here.

1 - It is Advent.  We keep hearing that this is the time of preparation.  We are in a season of waiting.  But this waiting isn't like the desert of Lent; we anticipate the celebration of Christmas and Christ's physical arrival to our world.  So while we are busy cleaning our homes for Christmas, we should also take time to clean our soul.  It just felt good to participate in the Sacrament of Reconciliation.

2 - Bonus piece - it's Gaudete Sunday or Rejoice Sunday.  Since today happens to be the 3rd Sunday in Advent, we mark it with additional rejoicing.  We know Christmas is near, and we celebrate that we are over halfway through our waiting.  I think that just added an extra spirit of joy to the service.

3rd Sunday of Advent - Gaudete Sunday (Rejoice!)

http://usccb.org/bible/readings/121513.cfm

Quick recap:
1st Reading - Isaiah - prophecy about the coming of the Savior
Psalm 146 (with refrain from Isaiah 35) - Lord, come and save us
Epistle - James 5 - be patient as the farmer patiently waits for the growth of the crops
Gospel - Matthew 11 - Fulfillment of Isaiah's prophecy of the Savior

Rejoice in the Lord always, again I say rejoice!

Today is Gaudete Sunday or Rejoice Sunday.  We mark this as the half-way point in the season of Advent.  We signify today with the pink candle, and we know that Christmas is near.  Thus, the readings reflect the nature of today; they speak of rejoicing, fulfillment of Old Testament prophecy, patience, and hopeful anticipation.

Thankful Thursday 12/12 - Lights

Whew - what a week!  It's been a busy time, but I'm trying to keep my focus where it belongs.  So, I'd like to express gratitude for the small things in my life.  Right now I am sitting in my living room, enjoying the ambiance of my Christmas lights.  There's just something about Christmas lights that brings me peace.  It's probably the only time of the year when I feel that I have to just sit and enjoy this feeling.

St. Nicholas

December 6 was the Feast of St. Nicholas.  Happy Feast Day!

Prayer - Lord, thank you for the examples of the saints.  May we be unfailing generous, like St. Nicholas, to all of those in need.  Our generosity is one way to give thanks to You..

Thankful Thursday 12-5

Today I am thankful for anticipation.  I'm excited for my upcoming retreat this weekend with my sister.  I am looking forward to getting my new tablet (which can't get here fast enough!).  I am preparing to celebrate Christmas, which is coming quickly.  And, in the midst of the chaos, I am attempting to prepare myself for Christ's coming.

Prayer - Lord, help me enjoy the anticipation in my life.  Anticipating things is an important part of experiencing them.  Help me to live in this moment as best I can.

2nd Sunday of Advent - Fire

http://usccb.org/bible/readings/120813.cfm

Quick recap:
1st Reading - Isaiah - prophecy about the shoot of Jesse
Psalm 72 - Justice shall flourish in his time, and fullness of peace for ever
Epistle - Romans 15 - encouraging peace and harmony
Gospel - Matthew 3 - John the Baptist proclaiming repentance.

This weekend, we are reminded to live for the future.  Specifically for the future coming of Jesus Christ.  It's hard to do that.  We have plenty of distractions, tasks, duties, and things that require us to live firmly in the present.  But in the Gospel, John the Baptist spells out what it means to ignore his call to repentance.


In this Gospel, fire is used to illustrate two very different points.  First, that we are to live out our Baptism and our Confirmation, having been baptized in the fire of the Holy Spirit.  Second, we are warned that if we do not produce fruitful lives (good works), then our fate will be to burn in the 'unquenchable fire'.  John the Baptist does not sugar-coat his words, so we should pay attention!  Ignoring this message could put our eternal future in jeopardy.

So, in the midst of our busy schedules, holiday preparations, and everyday tasks, how do we live our lives?  Are we 'on fire' with the Holy Spirit?  Is it evident that we are not of this world?  Or have we lost sight of the bigger picture?  We hear the admonition to 'Keep Christ in Christmas', but we need to also keep Christ's 2nd Coming in mind.  To live for Christ means being ready.  We show our readiness through our good works in our daily lives.  Don't ignore the command of John the Baptist; Now is the time to repent.

Prayer - Lord, may I not lose sight of my need to repent.  When I get caught up in the distractions of life, help me to re-focus on what really matters.

The End . . . and The Beginning

Happy New Year!  

I am not a month early, nor am I looking at a cultural calendar.  The First Sunday of Advent is the beginning of a new liturgical year in the Catholic Church.  So today is a day of reflection on the last year and anticipation of the coming year.

As everyone knows, New Year celebrations often include New Year's resolutions.  Perhaps we can make some spiritual resolutions for this coming liturgical year.  

1st Sunday of Advent - Stay awake!

http://usccb.org/bible/readings/120113.cfm

Quick recap:
1st Reading - Isaiah - a rousing reminder to not give up; we are to journey closer to God
Psalm 122 - Let us go rejoicing to the house of the Lord
Epistle - Romans 13 - stay awake and remember our goal
Gospel - Matthew 24 - be prepared, do not ignore the message of salvation or you may be too late

Now I haven't watched Doomsday Preppers, but I imagine this is the sort of message they would support.  "Be ready!"  "Prepare!"  "Stay alert and vigilant!"  This is the message of today's readings, but I suggest that we keep them in the context of our salvation journey.

Thankful Thursday 11/28 - the ultimate day of thanks

What do you say on the day that is designated for giving thanks?  There are so many things for which I am grateful, and so many ways to express that gratitude.

First and foremost, I hope that my life reflects a message of love.  I know that I am not a loving example every moment of every day, but I'm working on that.  I am thankful for the amazing blessings in my life, and I wish to radiate that.  Some days are easier than others.  But I am striving to reflect my favorite verse:

"I will bless the Lord at all times; His praise shall continually be in my mouth." ~Psalm 34:1

Solemnity of Our Lord Jesus Christ, King of The Universe

http://usccb.org/bible/readings/112413.cfm

Quick recap:
1st reading - 2 Samuel - David was anointed king of Israel
Psalm 122 - Let us go rejoicing to the house of the Lord.
Epistle - Colossians - Ode to Christ
Gospel - Luke 23 - Jesus on the cross, jeered at by rules, soldiers, and one of the criminals, while the other criminal asks to be remembered.

St. Cecilia

Happy Feast Day to all musicians!  I am doubly blessed because Cecilia is my confirmation name as well.  So extra celebrations here :-)

Thankful Thursday 11/21

I am very thankful for the opportunity to read Scripture.  I am constantly amazed at how something I've heard previously (and maybe even frequently) can have a new meaning today.  I'm learning how Scripture is alive and relevant in all areas of my life.  I am slowly gaining an appreciation of preparing for liturgy by reading and reflecting on the Scripture.

This was not something that came easy for me.  I have a deep love of reading, but for many years the Bible did not fit my tastes.  It has only been in the last few years that I have been consistent and persistent in studying Scripture.  And it is in that time that I have grown in my love of it.  Which came first?  Well, I believe I was given the desire to know more, and because of that desire, I have sought to learn more.  Very chicken/egg, I know.  But that's God; the Alpha and Omega, with neither a beginning nor an end.

33rd Sunday in Ordinary Time - the end is near . . . or is it?

http://usccb.org/bible/readings/111713.cfm

Quick recap:
1st Reading - Malachi - prophecy of destruction for evildoers and healing for the just
Psalm 98 - The Lord comes to rule the earth with justice
Epistle - 2 Thessalonians - mind your own business, and if you are able to work, you must do so
Gospel - Luke 21 - appears to be speaking of coming destruction and evil, but reminds us to persevere and we will be saved

We've been hearing lots about the Second Coming recently.  As the liturgical year wraps up (this is the last Sunday in Ordinary Time), we are called to plan for Jesus' return.  We must be prepared.  While this can all seem overwhelming, Jesus reminds us to, 'not be terrified.'  Frankly - it's a tall order.  When we hear the bad things that happen - typhoons, wars, terrorist acts, famines, etc, we fear the worst.  We believe it is the end of the world.  But the world's end goal is salvation, not destruction.

32nd Sunday in Ordinary Time

http://usccb.org/bible/readings/111013.cfm

Quick recap:
1st reading - Maccabees - 7 brothers and their mother arrested and tortured for not renouncing God
Psalm 17 - Lord, when your glory appears, my joy will be fill
Epistle - 2 Thessalonians - the Lord will strengthen and support us when we follow God's call
Gospel - Luke 20 - Sadducees question Jesus about life after death

What happens when we die?  Everyone struggles with this question at some point or many times during our lives.  We may ponder or mortality, or we may have lost a loved one suddenly.  With the loss of the tangible presence, we question the intangible life after.  Today's Gospel has Jesus fielding a question about the technicalities of a woman who was married 7 brothers consecutively.  Jesus reminds them of the much bigger picture.  They are only grasping the details of here and now; Jesus urges them to accept and embrace eternal life.  We hear that ". . . [God] is not God of the dead, but of the living, for to him all are alive."

Thankful Thursday 11/14

I am thankful for schedule changes.  While I may not be able to appreciate it at the time it happens, I am generally reminded later that there was a good reason for the delay.  Sometimes it is really frustrating to wait, but if I am aware, I will see how that change more perfectly fits God's plan.

For example, I had an important meeting, and it got delayed by 2 days.  I was not a happy camper.  I wanted to get the issues addressed and was not excited to wait.  But the day after the meeting was originally scheduled, I ended up attending a workshop that gave me some excellent tips to use in my (now) upcoming meeting.  When the speaker was being introduced, I realized the topic on which he was to present, and I just had to smile.  How like God to give me an 'extra' two days so that I could a) work on my patience and b) gain some very helpful skills for this meeting.

Prayer:  God, thank You for the little surprises and unexpected pieces in my day.  Help me to see them as gifts and opportunities rather than frustrations and challenges.  May I never fail to call on You for help in navigating life.

Never-ending

Never-ending.  When I look at my trees this time of year, it makes me tired.  Being a newer home owner, I have a different appreciation for fall.  I appreciate when all of the leaves in the neighborhood are picked up!
Don't get me wrong. I love fall. I love the change of season and the beautiful colors.  Every day, I see something in nature that takes my breath away.

But I've noticed that as my leaves (and those of my neighbors) continue to fall, I become less able to see past the work that those leaves represent.  I get caught up in logistics and details.  Saturday is the only day I can do yard work, will the weather cooperate?  My waste bin isn't big enough, what do I do with the extra leaves? Will my arms put up with the time it takes to rake everything, or will they (my arms) turn to mush before I'm done?  Yada yada yada.

Judgment is our illness

Wisdom 11:22-12:2

This was the 1st reading from one of our Sunday liturgies, and it really caught my intention.  There's something about the Book of Wisdom that is, well, wise.  I'm not sure how to better express the absolute love that comes from the words we just heard.

In this particular collection of verses, we hear about God's vast knowledge.  The entire universe is compared to a single grain or a drop of dew.  To God, it is nothing and yet everything.  One of the lines that really caught my attention, "But you have mercy on all, because you can do all things; and you overlook people's sins that they may repent."  If our God didn't have mercy on us, how could we ever survive?  We can never be perfect, but we have been cleansed perfectly in the Blood of the Lamb.  I often ponder how different God is from us, yet we persist in giving God human tendencies and idiosyncrasies.  I might struggle with showing kindness to someone who has hurt me, or hurting someone else because I have been hurt.  It could follow that I assign God a similar disposition of 'punishing me' or letting me down, because my human experience expects that behavior on a human level.  But God is divine, all-knowing, and all-good.  God does not desire separation from us.  Rather, we, as humans, have taken it upon ourselves to move away from God for one reason or another.  Maybe we were hurt, so we want to 'hurt' God.  Or we did something that another person couldn't forgive, so we assume that God wouldn't forgive us either.

We have a major illness:  Judgment.

We judge our thoughts and actions.  We judge God's message of salvation.  We judge others.  The list could go on and on.  In Wisdom, God is called, 'lover of souls,' and we struggle to believe it.  We are called to release our narrow view of the world.  Only God can cure us of our judgment illness.  We must turn over our lives to God, keeping one thing in mind - God prefers reconciliation to condemnation (Living Liturgy, 2013).

Prayer - God, lover of my soul, help me to release my judgments.  Only You are able to judge justly.  Help me to show compassion to others.

31st Sunday in Ordinary Time

http://usccb.org/bible/readings/110313.cfm

Recap:
1st reading - Wisdom - Our God is a merciful God
Psalm 145 - I will praise your name forever, my king and my God.
Epistle - 2 Thessalonians - Focus on God's Word and not false teachings.
Gospel - Luke 19 - Zacchaeus seeking Jesus and experiencing a deep encounter with Christ.

One thing I really like about the message from this weekend's Scriptures was the encounter with Christ.  Zacchaeus is changed when he seeks and finds Jesus.  Because Zacchaeus  as willing to change, Jesus had the opportunity to show Zacchaeus  another way.  This is pretty powerful stuff.  It's sometimes easy to put that story aside with one of two probably viewpoints.  1)  Nice story, makes for a good song for Sunday School, OR 2) Gosh, wouldn't it be neat to have that kind of personal encounter with Jesus?

Hmmm.  Well, it may make a fun song, but what's the deeper message of the song?  Zacchaeus was curious about Jesus, and wanted to learn more.  In expressing his desire (climbing a tree to see Jesus), Zacchaeus opened himself to an honest encounter with Christ.  And, we can and do encounter Jesus, if we are willing to look around (which may involved climbing out on a limb first).  We will have a hard time experiencing our God in the confines of our self-centered world.  Maybe it's time to get up, shake off our bad habits and old ways, and actively put ourselves in a place to encounter Christ.  Surprisingly, there are ways we already encounter Christ, but they may not be packaged the way we expect.  So, consider this an opportunity.  Take a bad habit and let it go.  Release yourself from that chain so you can move to reach Jesus.  Or open your eyes and your heart to a situation in your life that can be an encounter with Christ.  God is present in each person we meet, even the ones that challenge us.  So when we encounter another person, we encounter God.

Prayer - Lord, You know my challenges and struggles.  Help me to get out of my so I can fully seek You.  I want to know You, I want to see You, I want to reach You.  

Thankful Thursday 11-7

Today I'm thankful for the messiness of life.  I may not always be the frame of mind to appreciate it, but if everything were easy, where would the joy be?  By having challenges and struggles, we get to experience determination and faith.  Even when things are chaotic and I can hardly think straight, I know that life has an ebb and flow, and it will get better.  Sometimes I can remember that, and sometimes I have to be reminded.  But always, always, I have a faithful God.

Prayer - Lord, I am so far from perfect that I don't even know how to begin.  Thank you for meeting me where I am, in the midst of my crazy life.  Help me to reach out to You from where I am, knowing that You are always with me.

Change

You know the saying. nothing is certain except change. But why does it have to be so difficult?

Sometimes change is a good thing. It may be something that we have decided we want to achieve, a goal on which we have set our eyes.

Sometimes it is very painful, sad, or life-changing.  But it seems like the times when the change is out of our control, that we are the most impacted. 

Thankful Thursday 10-31

Today is a big day.  For the many who celebrate Halloween, it's a day of candy and costumes.  For those who purchased a house 3 years ago, and moved on Halloween, it's an anniversary.  Happy House Anniversary to me!  But even bigger than that is what this day precedes.  All Saints Day on November 1, followed by All Souls Day on November 2.  The more I learn about my Catholic faith, the more I realize how much heritage and richness exists.  The faith I believe is not unique to me; it has been practiced for centuries, by a multitude of saints who now celebrate in Heaven with God.  We are all called to be saints, so you could think of November 1st as a celebration for both the deceased saints (including our beloved dead) and the saints-in-training (us)!  It is a special day to remember those who have died; not that they are ever far from our thoughts.

Come to the well

"Leave it all behind, and come to the well."

I recently had the privilege of attending a Casting Crowns acoustic concert.  They are one of my favorite groups, in general, but the acoustic setting was beyond amazing.  Highly recommend.  Check out this song:
What a good reminder for us to let go of the baggage we hold so tightly.

Casting Crowns website

Leave it all behind
Leave it all behind
Leave it all behind
Leave it all behind

I have what you need, but you keep on searching
I’ve done all the work, but you keep on working
When you’re running on empty
And you can’t find the remedy
Just come to the well
You can spend your whole life
Chasing what’s missing
But that empty inside, it just ain’t gonna listen
When nothing can satisfy
And the world leaves you high and dry
Just come to the well

And all who thirst will thirst no more
And all who search will find
What their souls long for
The world will try but it can never fill
So leave it all behind
And come to the well

So bring me your heart, no matter how broken
Just come as you are, when your last prayer is spoken
Just rest in my arms a while
You’ll feel a change, my child
When you come to the well

And now that you’re full of love beyond measure
Your joy’s gonna flow like a stream in the desert
Soon all the world will see
Living water is found in me
‘Cause you’ve come to the well

Leave it all behind and come to the well

Leave it all behind
Leave it all behind
Leave it all behind
Leave it all behind

Your pursuit of perfection (leave it all behind)
Your fear of rejection (leave it all behind)
Your temporary pleasures (leave it all behind)
All your earthly treasures (leave it all behind)
Dried up empty religion (leave it all behind)
Rusty chains of addiction (leave it all behind)
All the guilt that weighs you down (leave it all behind)
Just leave it all behind and come to the well

What a great reminder - there is an answer to our questions, our searching, and our longings.  Things of this world are only temporary.  We need the gift of eternal life.

Prayer - Lord, I struggle to focus on the important things in life.  Help me to accept Your gift of love and life.

30th Sunday In Ordinary Time - follow-up

The homilies that I heard led to some more things I wanted to ponder, so here they are:

Fr. Matt talked about the posture of prayer.  Something I hadn't really focused on previously is how the two men in the Gospel are physically situated.  We were reminded that we are called to pray with our bodies.  I've heard it said that non-Catholics consider a Catholic Mass to be a bit of a workout, or at least, it appears to keep us moving (up, down, kneel, sit, stand, process, etc.)!  But it is important to keep our posture in mind when we pray.  For me, if I do not kneel by my bed for my morning and night prayers, I will likely get distracted and only half-heartedly recite them.  But if I am on my knees, I am able to better focus on what I am doing.  I become present to that moment, rather than skipping ahead to what's next.

This thinking reminds me of my communication classes in college - how to be a good listener, how to engage your audience, etc.  Think of the difference if you are speaking to someone who is leaning forward in their chair, nodding and smiling, compared to someone who is slouched in their chair and they appear ready to fall asleep or at least day-dream.  Our prayer posture should get the same consideration that we give to any event.  If we are preparing for an important speech, we don't start off with a timid smile and our eyes glued to our notecards.  No!  And we tailor our talk to our audience.  Why shouldn't we do the same with God?  Not that we have to perfect our speech or get our details just right before we begin talking to God, but we could at least give God our undivided attention.  Maybe it's not 30 minutes today, but what about 5?  Maybe, instead of grabbing the remote control or laptop or tablet or whatever digital devices we own, we could 'take 5' with God first?  I struggle with this concept, so I consider this to be an on-going challenge.  I want to give God thanks and praise for the astounding blessings in my life, and I don't want God to be an after-thought.  Good thing I have fellow believers to support me when I struggle and whom I can encourage as well.  May we not give up, so that we can say, as in 2 Timothy, "I have competed well; I have finished the race; I have kept the faith."

Prayer - God, help us use our bodies in prayer, so that we can praise You even more.

30th Sunday in Ordinary Time

http://usccb.org/bible/readings/102713.cfm

Quick recap:
1st reading - Sirach - God hears every prayer, there are no favorites.
Psalm 34 - The Lord hears the cry of the poor
Epistle - 2 Timothy - persistence
Gospel - Luke 18 - Pharisee and tax collector pray - reminders on how to pray and how not to pray

We've been hearing about prayer for several weeks now, and I think we should take note of that.  When something is repeated, it is usually to drive the message home:  This is IMPORTANT!  In the Gospels from the past weeks, we've heard how prayer is not optional (it is part of our lives - see reflection), how our gratitude in prayer is, "an expression of faith" (see reflection), and most recently about persistence in prayer (see reflection).  Today's discourse on prayer gives us even more to consider.

In the first reading and in the Psalm, we are assured that God hears our prayer.  I especially appreciate the reminder that God doesn't play favorites.  The reality is that those who are poor (poor in material wealth, struggling, oppressed, etc.) are more likely to reach out to God, whereas those who rely on themselves live (and pray) as though they don't need God.  The Gospel illustrates two types of 'pray-ers' - the Pharisee and the tax collector.  If you were to judge on outward appearances alone, it would appear that the Pharisee is doing all of the right motions.  However, the heart of the Pharisee is untouched.  How often do we simply go through the motions?  When we pray, are we praying to check something off of our to-do list, or our we seeking a relationship with God?  The tax collector, who would have been socially shunned, is honest with God and with himself.  One of the petitions found in Living Liturgy sums this up well, "That each of us here always pray in such a way that we are honest before God and live in such a way that we are honest before each other" (Living Liturgy 2013).  Are we honest before God?  Yes, God knows all, but God wants us to trust God with our burdens.  Just like Mom always knew who really tracked in the dirt or broke the vase, God would like us to bring our problems to God, instead of attempting to cover them up.  I was also intrigued by the second part of that prayer - '. . . that we live in such a way that we are honest before each other'.  If I can lie to myself, I will lie to those around me.  Are my actions honest?  Am I living out what I proclaim?

Prayer - God, help me to pray.  I want my inward life to match my outward appearance.  I know that until I match those things up, I cannot truly live in right relationship with You or with my neighbor.  Help me see what needs fixing without becoming discouraged and hopeless.  I trust in Your Wisdom.

Thankful Thursday 10/24

Today I am thankful for me.  Not in a prideful way, but I am thankful that I am alive, present in this time, to be a part of life.  I am thankful for God's gift of life.  One of my absolute favorite songs puts it best:

Now, all I have is now
To be faithful, to be holy and to shine
Lighting up the darkness
Right now, I really have no choice
But to voice the truth to the nations
A generation looking for God 

For such a time as this
I was placed upon the earth
To hear the voice of God
And do His will, whatever it is
For such a time as this
For now and all the days He gives
I am here, I am here and I am His
For such a time as this

You, do you ever wonder why
Seems like the grass is always greener
Under everybody else's sky
But right here, right here for this time and place
You can live a mirror of His mercy
A forgiven image of grace

For such a time as this
I was placed upon the earth
To hear the voice of God
And do His will, whatever it is
For such a time as this
For now and all the days He gives
I am here, I am here and I am His
For such a time as this

Can't change what's happened till now
But we can change what will be
By living in holiness
That the world will see Jesus

For such a time as this
I was placed upon the earth
To hear the voice of God
And do His will, whatever it is

For such a time as this
For now and all the days He gives
I am here, I am here and I am His
For such a time as this

So I am grateful to God for knowing best.  I am thankful to be alive and able to grow in faith and love for God.  I am here for a reason.  As it is put in Esther 4:14, "For if you keep silence at such a time as this, relief and deliverance will rise for the Jews from another quarter, but you and your father's family will perish.  Who knows?  Perhaps you have come to royal dignity for just such a time as this."

Challenge - What is your purpose?  It has been given to you by God, and it cannot be completed by anyone else - it is for you, for such a time as this.  Will you say yes?

Prayer - Lord, help me to focus on the present, to not dwell on the past, but to look forward with hope.  I am thankful for Your love and grace.  May I continue, with Your help, to work for Your glory.

Weary

"Brothers and sisters, do not be weary in doing what is right."  2 Thessalonians 3:13 NRSVCE

This was in the morning prayer yesterday, and it stuck with me through the day.  How true it is that we can become weary in doing what we are to do.  I think of all the little things that push my buttons, and this verse reaffirms that we are to continue doing what we know is right.  Keep on keepin' on.  For it is in the small things where we grow, so that we are able to survive the big challenges.

Again with the health comparison - if you want to run/walk a 5K for the first time ever, you don't (or you shouldn't) just get up the day of the race and go sign up.  First off, you won't get your t-shirt, and second (and more importantly) you are not prepared.  This verse speaks to the small tasks, behind-the-scenes, that challenge us.  That is when our strength is developed and our stamina is cultivated.  So, when it comes time for the race or the challenge, we are prepared.

Challenge - today, when thoughts of discouragement creep in, banish them away.  Recognize that we can be weary, but we have a greater goal that we wish to achieve.  And, we are not in this alone!

Prayer - Lord, my human self is easily tired and distracted.  I let the smallest things derail my focus.  I don't want to lose sight of You.  Help me to accept Your Grace so I may win the battle over those buzzing worries.  They are opportunities for me to live for YOU by doing what is right.

29th Sunday in Ordinary Time - persistence

http://usccb.org/bible/readings/102013.cfm

Quick recap:
1st reading - Exodus - Joshua was successful against Amalek when Moses raised his arms
Psalm 121 - Our help is from the Lord, who made Heaven and earth.
Epistle - 2 Timothy - be faithful and persistent
Gospel - Luke 18 - story of dishonest judge and widow, and how persistence is part of prayer

 Persistence in prayer.  How hard do we work for something we want?  If it becomes hard, or we don't see the result we expect, do we keep trying?  More often than not, we quit.  Maybe we rethink our 'need' and realize we don't wish to exchange our time and effort for that 'thing'.  However, my personal experience is that if it is hard, if it requires commitment, if it takes time, two things are true:  it's not easy and persistence is a must.  I can't achieve this goal overnight.  The same is true in prayer.  We are called to cultivate an ongoing relationship with God through prayer.  While God always welcomes us, it's usually a little easier if we have more than a passing acquaintance with God when we pray.

I think prayer and healthy living go hand in hand.  If we only workout occasionally, or we don't eat our fruits and vegetables regularly, our health will be affected.  Our bodies will be sluggish, and if we suddenly had to perform extended physical efforts, it would be very difficult.  So, consider prayer as another healthy lifestyle; if we only pray at Church on Sunday, how much stamina will our prayer life have when it comes to a spiritual challenge?  We all have those unexpected bumps which seem to hit us out of nowhere.  How much better prepared is your body when you strive for a consistent, PERSISTENT plan of exercise and healthy eating?  Ditto for your soul.

Side note:  remember that we should not judge the effectiveness of our prayer based on whether or not OUR expected result was received.  Prayer is communication with God and it should be honest and sincere.  God desires to know us intimately.  God hears our prayers, and the more we pray, the closer we grow to God.

Prayer -  God, you desire a relationship with me.  Help me to be persistent in prayer, especially when I don't 'feel' like it.  The best way to know someone is through relationship, and my prayer time should be highly valued so that I can come to know You.

Thankful thursday 10-17

Today I am thankful for people who speak God to me.  It may not always be easy to hear, but it's almost always necessary for me to hear it.

Prayer- Lord, I can be stubborn and hard-hearted when it comes to listening to You.  Thank you for not giving up on me, and using others' voices to reach me.

28th Sunday in Ordinary Time

http://usccb.org/bible/readings/101313.cfm

Quick recap:
1st reading - 2 Kings - Naaman was cleansed of leprosy
Psalm 98 - The Lord has revealed to the nations his saving power.
Epistle - 2 Timothy - God will ALWAYS be faithful
Gospel - Luke 17 - ten lepers ask for healing, but only one returns to give thanks

Giving thanks is what it's all about.  In the first reading, once Naaman finally did what Elisha directed, Naaman was cured.  He recognized this healing and praise the God of Israel.  In the Gospel, it is the foreigner who returns and gives thanks for his healing.  Jesus' comments highlight the sense of entitlement that the other nine lepers had; they didn't feel the need to give thanks.

One year, when I was participating in the Busy Person's Retreat at the Newman Center, I was speaking with my spiritual director about something that was done for me.  After I finished recounting the situation and how much I appreciated being included, I was asked if I thanked them.  I paused, unsure of how to respond.  She continued, saying something that has stuck with me, and which, I think, ties in to this Gospel.  'If you don't express your gratitude, how will that person know?  If you want someone to repeat an action (in my case, an invitation), you need to tell them thank you.'  I still try to follow this directive, not from a greedy viewpoint that I want more, but rather in the sense that others can't read my mind.  If I don't verbalize my gratitude, they may not repeat the action.  Examples include anything from holding the door, putting something away, or even showing appreciation for something that is part of their 'job'.  Gratitude doesn't cost anything, it lightens everyone's burdens, and it makes the world a happier place in that moment in time.

In Living Liturgy 2013, we read that, "gratitude is an expression of faith."  I think we must cultivate an awareness in order to express gratitude.  And when we express gratitude, we are acknowledging God's blessings, both in and of themselves and through those in our lives.  Try it - you might like it!

Prayer - God, Your gifts are boundless and Your love is beyond comprehension.  Help us to cultivate an attitude of gratitude.  We have so much for which we can give thanks.  May we continue to see the blessings all around us.

Thankful Thursday 10-10

My gratitude seems so inadequate when compared to the gifts I've been given.  What a generous and loving God we have!  I am thankful for nature, especially as I listen to the wind blow outside.  I always think of the Holy Spirit movin' in the wind.  Might be why I really like windy days (as long as I'm not wearing a hat, that is!).

To our Triune God - thank you for the miracles in nature and for blessing me with my senses so I can experience them.  The sounds, smells, sights, feel, and taste of nature is beyond compare when I stop to truly experience Your creation.  May I never take this for granted.

Thankful Thursday 10-3

So many things for which to be thankful, but I'd especially like to express gratitude for my parents.  They will celebrate their 61st wedding anniversary on October 7th, which also happens to be the Feast of Our Lady of the Rosary.  Please join me in thanking God for my parents, and all who have molded, guided, modeled, and shaped us.  Well done, God.  Well done.  :)

Prayer - God of Creation, Your knowledge is beyond comprehension.  Help me to continue to trust in You at all times, for You are worthy of all praise.  I wish to express my gratitude for the abundance of blessings in my life, especially for the relationships I have encountered.  May I never take them for granted.

27th Sunday in Ordinary Time

http://usccb.org/bible/readings/100613.cfm

Quick recap:
1st reading - Habakkuk - a plea to God
Psalm 95 - If today you hear his voice, harden not your hearts.
Epistle - 2 Timothy - just do it! as in holy boldness
Gospel - Luke 17 - the apostles ask Jesus to increase their faith.  His response - if you have faith the size of a mustard seed . . .

The reflections in Living Liturgy for this week focus on faith.  It said that we must remember that, "faith is more a verb than a noun."  I like this concept.  I used to think of faith in terms of nouns.  Don't laugh.  Consider it this way:  to me, faith has been a thing (remember, a noun is a person, place, thing, or idea - thank you Miss Nase) that just existed.  It didn't move (verb), it didn't grow (verb).  I thought of it in passive terms.  The reality is, faith isn't a book on the shelf that we pull down once a week for church.  It grows with us, just as we grow from a baby to a child, to an adult.  Or, it should grow with us.  That's the other bit about faith - if we don't use it, it remains a bump on a log.  Without our full, conscious, and active participation, faith remains a noun.  It is simply 'there'.  You could even liken it to a healthy lifestyle.  If you don't move, you can't improve.  Mentally willing pounds away doesn't actually make it happen.  You need a lot of verbs in action - exercise, move, dance, jump, sweat, lift, run, walk, bike, etc. - as a part of your healthy lifestyle.  So it is with faith.  You don't wake up one day and announce to the world that you have arrived at the place of spiritual enlightenment and need travel no further.  Because if you get to that point, you're probably dead.

Another a-ha moment for me:  the idea that faith is expressed in the everyday pieces of life.  Yes, there can be amazing God-moments and times of wonderment and spiritual fulfillment, but the stable foundation for faith is built in the simple, everyday tasks.  When we go about our day with love, we express faith.  In the little things, we can show great faith.  The same with health.  It may not seem like a big deal to add a sweet treat into your day or skip a workout, but in the big picture, you get a momentary pleasure (likely followed by guilt) and a setback.  It is hard to be faithful, both to health and faith itself.  Struggle is to be expected; temptation is all around.  But, if we are honest, we know it is the right thing to do, whether for health or our faith.  As stated in Living Liturgy,

"The faithful disciple of Jesus is never finished serving.  The faith of a disciple is never finished increasing."       

Challenge - pick an everyday task that you do and do it with love.  Do that task to the absolute best of your ability.  Express your delight for God's gift of faith through this action.  Bonus challenge - add a healthy activity to your schedule and be faithful to it this week.

Prayer - Lord, You tell us that faith the size of a mustard seed can do amazing things.  I want to have that faith.  Grant me the desire to increase my faith and to be faithful to You.

Lean on Me

This song has been a standard in my playlist for years, and I wanted to share it with you.

Lean on Me

Sometimes in our lives
We all have pain, we all have sorrow
But if we are wise
We know that there's always tomorrow

Lean on me when you're not strong
And I'll be your friend, I'll help you carry on
For it won't be long
'Til I'm gonna need somebody to lean on

Please, swallow your pride
If I have things you need to borrow
For no one can fill those of your needs
That you won't let show

You just call on me, brother, when you need a hand
We all need somebody to lean on
I just might have a problem that you'll understand
We all need somebody to lean on

Lean on me when you're not strong
And I'll be your friend, I'll help you carry on
For it won't be long
'Til I'm gonna need somebody to lean on

You just call on me, brother, when you need a hand
We all need somebody to lean on
I just might have a problem that you'll understand
We all need somebody to lean on

If there is a load
You have to bear that you can't carry
I'm right up the road, I'll share your load
If you just call me

Call me (If you need a friend)
Call me (Call me uh-huh)
Call me (When you need a friend)
Call me (If you ever need a friend)
Call me (Call me)
Call me (Call me)
Call me (Call me)
Call me (Call me)
Call me (If you need a friend)
Call me (Call me)
Call me (Call me)
Call me (Call me)
Call me (Call me)
Call me

I appreciate the honesty of the music, and the ability to admit that things aren't perfect.  No one likes to fail or . . . gasp . . . have others think we are less than perfect.  (as if that is even possible!)  But as the song states, sometimes we just need help from someone.  I know I would prefer to be in a position of helping someone else rather than needing help myself.  It basically stems back to the desire for control.  I know, I'm working on it.  But in the meantime, I can use a reminder from the song to help me let go.

Prayer - Lord, I struggle to admit my needs, believing that it makes me weak or incapable.  Help me to recognize that my challenges have a twofold purpose:  1) to allow others the opportunity to minister, and 2) to relinquish control (especially since thinking I am in control is generally an illusion!).  It may not be easy, but with Your grace, it is possible.

Health

Why do I exercise?

I recently was asked this question at my gym.  We are in the midst of the "Stupendous Chase" - trekking across the U.S.A. in teams of 4 - and our leader wanted to know the answer to this question.  My first response was, duh, 'To win . . . 'cause it's a competition.'  I know that's only a short term answer; yes, we have a great activity with competition and camaraderie, but what happens after that?  If I don't have some internal motivation, where will I go from here?

So, I wanted to start back at the beginning.  Not exactly sure that I had one particular moment of precise clarity.  Rather, it was more of a general awakening to my life and current circumstances.  I wasn't happy.  Not that was I miserable or particularly un-happy, but I wasn't a happy person.  Sometimes it was a struggle to move (mentally more-so than physically), and I had bouts of depression, laced with apathy and overall tiredness.  Life felt blah.  Little by little, I started attempting change.  My parents were a big support and source of encouragement.  I was ready for a change, and they provided the push to get me started.  My niece, Tasha, was another influence.  She was interested in health and wellness, and we would talk about apps like MyFitnessPal and I just knew that after her shoulder healed, we would become work-out buddies (with her likely pushing me to test my limits and stamina!).  She died in a car accident that July, and my goal became a little more clear and a lot more dear to me.  Grief decreased my appetite for a while, so I got a bit of an unintended jump start on my journey.  Then I was invited to participate in a Couch to 5K.  Talk about terrifying.  But with other family members participating, I decided that this was the next step.  I'd always wanted to do a race, although it seemed very far-fetched.  Towards the end of that training program, I learned about a program at my gym called 'Choose to Lose'.  This was an amazing 16 week program with great teachers and I learned so much.  Before that time, I didn't realize how much I was hurting my own body with poor choices in food.  I had been in a vicious cycle - I would eat something (such as greasy pizza or empty-calorie donut), then feel yucky and lack energy, so I wouldn't get up and move, let alone exercise, and then I would get lethargic and try to fill the void with more bad food.  Rinse, repeat, and go deeper into the spiral.  In our classes, I was exposed to exercise and good nutrition.  For a while I went kind of crazy with my food journal and meal plans.  It felt good to be in control of food, instead of the other way around.

It's been a year since that class, and I feel great.  I'm still on the healthy lifestyle path, and I know that I will be for the rest of my life.  This is not a destination, it's a journey.  I've had a few detours and roadblocks, but I'm happy with me.  Although ignorance is bliss, I can't mindlessly eat junk food anymore.  If I do, my body cannot function at its best, and that has become more important to me.  I want to become the best version of myself in all areas - physically, mentally, spiritually, and emotionally.  Exercise is a part of that equation.  I believe I was created by God for a purpose, and I can more fully respond to that call when I am whole and healthy.

So, why do I exercise?  Because it is the right thing to do.  Because I want to do more 5Ks.  Because I like how I feel when I'm healthy.  Because I want to do more than I thought possible.  Because God created me to do things that only I can do.  I joined the Stupendous Chase for the motivation to keep going.  But I'm going to keep exercising because I'm worth it.  I can't wait to see what the future holds!

Learning the Mass - the homily

The homily just finished.  What is your first thought?  It could be any number of reactions:
-'Finally done!'
-'Well said.'
-'Took long enough.'
-'Hmm, well it's 10:50 now, so we should be out of here in time for . . . '
-'Excellent topic - I wish so-and-so would have been here to hear this.'
-'Let's see what the song will be for presentation.'
-'Better hurry up and find the words of the Creed.'

Hopefully, these are rare responses to the homily, because our response should be to internalize the message.  Whether you have some moments of silence immediately after the homily, or whether you take time to reflect after Mass or as you return home, we are called to ponder what we heard.  We must consider the homily as the opportunity to delve deeper into the Liturgy of the Word.  Hopefully, we are in the habit of preparing before Mass, including reading the Scripture.  If so, we can more easily connect the points of the homily to the message of Jesus.  Ultimately, the homily calls us to reflect on our lives and to act according to Jesus' teachings.  So, unlike attending a lecture or business presentation, we are to respond honestly to what we heard.

Challenge - the next time you are at Mass and the homily has just ended, focus on one thing you heard.  How can you incorporate that into your life?  How are you doing in regards to Jesus' teaching?  Is that an area that needs some attention?  Be honest.

Prayer - I am a work in progress, and I am often challenged by my wandering mind.  Help me to focus on the message You have for me.  I want to be attentive and open to Your Word.

26th Sunday in Ordinary Time - Chasms

http://usccb.org/bible/readings/092913.cfm

Quick recap:
1st reading - Amos - Amos is still calling the Israelites to shape up - they create their own peril by ignoring those in need.
Psalm 146 - Praise God, who is just to those in need; He will not forsake them.
Epistle - 1 Timothy - 'Compete well for the faith'
Gospel - Luke 16 - Rich man and Lazarus

The biggest thing that struck me in our bible study conversations was that the rich man was not a 'bad' man.  He was not cruel, and being rich didn't make him bad.  His sin was the absence of compassion; he ignored Lazarus at his door.  What a different story could have been if the rich man had responded like the Good Samaritan!  As Abraham reminds the rich man, their were ample opportunities to learn from Scripture on how to act.  Another point that caught my attention had to do with the chasm referenced in the Gospel.  How we live now, on earth, is how we will live in eternity:

"The present moment is amplified in eternity.  Ultimately, how we live both now and in eternity is our choice.  God makes good (or bad) on our choice!"  Living Liturgy 2013

The reflections went on to say that it is easy to talk about the poor and starving in abstract terms, i.e. someone should do something about hunger in our world.  We make this out as a problem beyond our reach, when we can serve the poor and hungry at our door.  Now, they may not be right on our front step, but we cannot ignore the needs that exist right here.  I can make a difference.  I have a duty to support the Lazarus figures in my life.  Not simply to follow the letter of the law, but because I am to love my neighbor.  That means I must show compassion for all of God's people, and help when I can.

Challenge - the rich man experienced a change of heart only after he died.  How can I soften my heart and open my eyes to the needs of those around me?

Prayer - Lord, You have commanded me to love my neighbor.  Help me to understand that this is bigger than the person who lives next door.  Open my eyes to see the opportunities I have to show compassion and love to Your children.

25th Sunday in Ordinary Time - Not of this world

http://usccb.org/bible/readings/092213.cfm

Quick recap:
1st Reading - Amos - The Lord will never forget our actions towards the poor.
Psalm 113 - God cares for the poor and lifts them up.
2nd Reading - 1 Timothy - peace is the way to live
Gosepl - Luke 16 - Dishonest, yet prudent, steward

It seems strange that Jesus would uphold the dishonest steward as worthy of note.  Out of context, it seems backwards.  But the lesson we are being taught is prudence.  Jesus is probing into our lives, asking us to honestly consider our actions.  When we have a situation that will profit us (monetarily, give us acclaim, increase our earnings or status, etc.), we are very prudent in our actions.  To be prudent is to be careful in providing for the future.  The steward, although dishonest, is covering his butt.  He is making sure that when he is removed from his position, he has options.  But Jesus reminds us that the steward is very shortsighted; while the steward is trying to prepare for his immediate future, he is not attending to his eternal future.  In the same way, we are called to examine our lives - are we covering our 'earthly needs' or are we preparing for our 'eternal needs'.

Challenge - consider this:  do I deal more kindly with strangers in business opportunities than I do with my own family?  Am I preparing for my eternal future or am I focused solely on my earthly future?

Prayer - Lord, I want to be a good provider, and sometimes I get caught up in the earthly needs.  Help me remember that everything I do should be done with my eternal goals in mind.  I want to celebrate with you in Paradise, therefore, I can't be short-sighted in my goals.  Gently nudge me back when I get too focused on earthly concerns.

Gratitude

I just participated in an awesome celebration of thanksgiving, and I marvel at the blessings I have received.  Tonight we celebrated the 50th Anniversary of the Catholic Newman Center at UNK (give or take a few years).  We started our evening with Mass.  It was a spirit-filled time, and while I may be rather biased, there was a lot of  joyful noise happening, and it sounded great!  The entire liturgy was as if time stood still.  I was blown away by the participation of everyone present.  I mentioned this to one of the students, and she reminded me that these people wanted to be there, so they were willing to participate.  Good point.  We followed our Eucharistic Meal with a delicious meal and great conversation.  People spoke about the past, present, and future of the Newman Center, and it was all exciting.  The atmosphere was charged and alive - the Spirit was a-movin'!

Prayer - Lord, thank you for those moments of awareness when I feel Heaven.  While I know that faith is more than emotions, these glimpses of the Eternal Now just make me even more excited to live for You!  Help me to keep on course, especially when I don't 'feel' like it.

When the lights went out

Okay - this isn't a dramatic story of a big ice storm or dangerous tornado.  It's actually rather mundane, and that's why I think it's worth noting.  Let me explain.

It was a Monday (in more ways than just the day of the week).  It had been an extremely busy day at work, filled with lots of catching up and unexpected meetings that took time I needed to spend on other projects.  I worked late, and just had the urge to go home and veg out.  I even stopped to pick up some microwave popcorn, as I thought I 'deserved' a reward.

I came up to my driveway and hit my garage door button.  Nothing.  Okay, the button can be temperamental.  Tried it again.  Nope.  Sitting in front of the garage door - definitely in range.  Nada.  So I get out, open the car door and unlock my people door to the garage.  I've already started thinking about how this is an inconvenience, and tomorrow morning I'm going to have to put the door up from the inside, back out, go back in and put the door down, then go out through the people door.  Well, I push the button inside the garage.  Nothing.  Now I'm really puzzled.  I look up at the ceiling (you know, in case the garage door opener has a neon sign explaining why it won't cooperate), but don't see random pieces hanging at odd angles.

I get a bad feeling in my stomach, and I go to look at my freezer.  No light.  I look at the outlet where the freezer is plugged in.  My mind must be playing tricks on me - if the freezer is plugged in, the light should be on.  Then it sinks in - no power.

Great - just what I wanted after a crazy day.  A day where I worked at not being stressed out, even with so many things needing my attention.  I was good!  I didn't get frustrated with co-workers, I tried to be gracious with interruptions, and this is the thanks I get?  Not my finest response, but it was very human.

As I went to check out the breaker box (while still turning on light switches out of habit), I thought about all the things "I" planned to get done.  None of them could be accomplished without electricity.  This day was throwing more wrenches into my plans than I thought possible.  Couldn't I get a break?  I checked everything I knew to check, called in my outage, and then I called my sister.  I wanted some advice and a ear for my whining.  First things first - did I pay my electric bill?  Ha ha.  Not the response I was looking for.  "Yes, I did," I responded.  Next step - check with the neighbors.  Yep - no power there either.  I felt a little better.  I wasn't in this alone.  My sister is being a good listener, up until I complain that I can't do anything without electricity.  As soon as I said it - I knew I left myself wide open for her next comment.  I knew, I just knew that she would tell me I could always pray.  She said, "Maybe God was trying to tell you something."  Okay - here it comes, I should pray, I shouldn't complain, keep things in perspective, etc.  But her next sentence wasn't what I expected.

"Maybe the electricity went out so you would call me and I could hear your voice on a Monday."  Wait, what?  Here I was all wrapped up in my 'problems', and my sister was just happy that I called her on a Monday (our typical day to talk is Wednesday).  That threw me off.  She was happy to hear from me.  We shared our mutual 'case of the Mondays' stories, and I felt so much better.  If the lights hadn't stopped working (along with every other electronic gadget in my home), I wouldn't have reached out to her and the chance for sharing each others burdens would have been missed.

I know, nothing earth-shattering about this story, and that's why it hits me even more.  Life isn't point A to point B alone.  It all the in-between stuff as well.  Sometimes it's big and sometimes it's small.  And sometimes it's dark, but that can be okay too :-)

Prayer - Lord, help me to shut off the distractions in my life.  Sometimes I need a reminder that connecting with another person is more important than my to-do list.  I have opportunities all around me, but I don't always take advantages of those times, especially when they are disguised as inconveniences or disruptions to my plans.  Help me rely on Your plan and Your timing.  

The grace of music - part 2

So, I was browsing a Catholic Devotional book, and came across a reflection that fit so perfectly with my music experience (read it here).  The Scripture reference was the story of Mary and Martha from Luke's Gospel, and the author was focused on the comment from Jesus to Martha, "Martha, Martha, you are anxious and worried about many things."  Luke 10:41

The author noted that while there are many distractions and worries in our lives, we will never regret time spent with Jesus.  Just like Mary chose the better part, we must banish our anxious thoughts in order to be fully present (back to the full, active, conscious participation request) with God.  Time spent with God is never wasted.

This makes me smile soooo much.  How true it is!  When I think I absolutely, positively, have no time to spare, that is when I MUST shift my priorities.  With God first, there is room for everything else of importance.  Do you know why?  Because when God is first, nothing else is as important.  And that is how it should be.

Challenge - Keep God first in everything.  Take 15 minutes, 1 hour, an afternoon, or whatever chunk of time you can manage.  Make God the priority all through that time.  It will not be easy at first.  Maybe you'll need to start small.  But once you can put God first, everything else falls into place.  My personal challenge is to follow that advice when nothing is going my way.  That's worth bonus points!

Prayer - God, You know that I run in many distractions, chasing things that seem pressing.  Help me to realize that the only real priority in my life is You.  I seek Your guidance and grace to help me grow closer to You.  I want the inner peace that comes from knowing You intimately.

24th Sunday in Ordinary Time - Prodigality

http://usccb.org/bible/readings/091513.cfm

Quick recap:
1st reading - Exodus - Moses persuades God to be merciful to the Israelites, even though they are worshiping a golden calf
Psalm 51 - Admitting our sinful nature but anticipating the abounding love and compassion of God
2nd Reading - 1 Timothy - despite our sinfulness, God's grace can change our life
Gospel - Luke 15 - 3 parables about prodigality - the shepherd with 1 lost sheep, the woman with 1 lost coin, and the father with 2 sons.

Prodigality - what an interesting word.  If you look it up, you will see descriptions like lavishly abundant, profuse, extravagant.  This can apply to the readings in several ways.  There is excess that is both positive and negative.  The shepherd who searches for the lost sheep is going to the extreme in leaving the 99 sheep he has.  The woman wastes her oil to diligently search her home for the missing coin.  And the father responds with overflowing compassion and extravagance to welcome home his son.

On the other hand, the younger son is reckless and wasteful in his choices and lifestyle.  He severs all ties to his family and does what he pleases, heedless of the consequences.  And the older son is overflowing with jealousy and anger while majorly lacking in mercy and compassion.  So we have a lot of prodigious-ness going on, both good and bad.

In the first reading, Moses persuades God to rethink God's plan of destruction.  Moses wants God to be prodigious with mercy, even though the Israelites have not earned it.  Quite the opposite - God's people have severed ties to God, even replacing God with a golden idol.  Yet God relents and overflows love and mercy on an undeserving people (sounds like the Gospel parables).  In Psalm 51 (which is titled as "A Contrite Sinner's Prayer for Pardon"), we are begging God to express profuse mercy towards us.  What is most interesting to me is the refrain.  I am used to hearing Psalm 51 in a setting such as Tom Kendzia's Create in Me, which is a personal favorite of mine.  However, in today's readings, the refrain is actually taken directly from the Gospel.  The line in the Gospel, Luke 15:18, I will rise and go to my father, is woven into our psalm prayer, thus connecting our readings even more.  We are both the 'contrite sinner' of Psalm 51, and the younger son of the parable, recognizing that we need God.  God won't hold our bad choices against us.  We have to release our pride and our sin, unlike the older son, if we truly desire oneness with God.

Challenge - answer this question:  which side of the prodigality equation am I?  Am I excessive with love, mercy, and kindness?  Or am I stingy with compassion and overflowing with judgment, pride, and sin?

Prayer - On good days, it's easy for me to believe in Your abounding mercy.  When I have sinned, I struggle with accepting that truth.  Grant me the wisdom to know You are prodigious with Your mercy, especially when I least deserve it.  May I embrace that knowledge for myself and for those around me.  We are all children of a Prodigal God.

23rd Sunday follow-up

It's been a busy week, so I'm a little slow in getting these notes posted.  This is a follow-up to the 23rd Sunday post, after I heard some excellent homily points that I wanted to remember.

First, we heard a story about an influential sports figure who always wore a pendant that said "I am 3rd".  This was to remind him that the priorities in his life should be 1-God, 2-Family & Friends, 3-Self.  I found that to be a great eye-opener for me.  How many of my petty frustrations would be resolved if I simply kept that order in my thoughts and actions?

Another item related to our call to trust God in all things.  Trust was described as starting and ending with the cross (t) and you (u) in the middle.  Doesn't get much more to-the-point than that!

Finally, the original meaning of the word 'hate' was addressed.  Our understanding of its use is limited by our modern day use and meaning.  In the original form, the word meant 'to love less'.  So it's not 'hate' as we think of it today, but rather a reminder that we are to love God first and foremost.  We should not love anything else more than we love God.  The 'hate' of Luke 14:26, is really a reminder to keep God first.  We love friends and family, but we should not love them more than God.  This ties nicely with the 'I am 3rd' mentality.  God is always first.

The grace of music

Tonight I did something special.  I played the piano for Jesus.  It was after a wedding rehearsal, and everyone else had left, and I could just play for Jesus.  The sun was setting, lighting up the windows of our church, and I just enjoyed making music.  As I was playing, I thought to myself, "Why don't I do this more often?"  Hmm.  Well, if you know me at all, you know I tend to keep my schedule 'full'.  So, the answer seemed obvious.  But it was something about the time I spent there that soothed my soul like nothing has in the past few weeks of my busy life.

Yes, it was good that I stopped to just be, but I think that there were 2 other pieces that made it even more soul-touching:  1)  I was making music, and 2)  I was aware of God's presence.

Music is an amazing thing.  I feel so very blessed that I am gifted with music.  I love singing and playing, enjoying and listening to music.  It speaks to me in a way that words can't describe.  I pray best through music.  Music is my prayer.  Music has the power to express emotions that words can't touch.  Without music, I feel less alive.  So, taking the time to make music was an opportunity for my soul to bloom.  I played a variety of songs, and I ended with a favorite that is fun to play and has a beautiful melody.  As I listened to the last note fade in the church, I felt peace.  I hope I never take this joy for granted.

While I was playing, I imagined God smiling at me.  Probably the indulgent smile of a parent who sees their child experiencing a simple joy.  I also imagined that God was also wondering why I waited so long to do this.  You see, I used to go and play just for Jesus every week when I was growing up.  I'm not talking about playing for a liturgy or church event.  My parents always kept a holy hour of Eucharist Adoration every week, and when I went, I would play the piano.  It always felt different at church.  My music was more . . . . . . everything!  The notes were right, the songs were uplifting, and it was just better.  I don't attribute this to a better piano or improved acoustics.  It's because I was very aware of my audience.  It's hard to miss Jesus when the tabernacle is in the same room!  The same was true tonight.  My music sounded sweeter than anything I could play at home.  I'm not saying I can only play for Jesus in a church, but the environment certainly impacted my awareness.  Yes, God is everywhere.  But being on holy ground, in a sacred place, with Christ present is almost beyond words.  It makes the good stuff even better.

In our catechism study last week, we looked at the section on singing and music (yay!).  I especially appreciated the quote from St. Augustine, "He who sings prays twice."  [please note that it doesn't say he who sings well prays twice - any singing will do!]  When I heard Immaculee Ilibagiza speak (her website is here), she emphasized how beautiful music is to Our Mother Mary.  Music drops defenses and allows our souls to open.  I encourage, no, I beseech you to use music as a way to open your soul to God.  The next time you are in church, fully participate in the music.  It can be intimidating, but God is not glorified by our self-consciousness.  We must act with holy boldness so we can praise God with our full, active, and conscious participation, both in our liturgies and in our lives.  

Prayer - God, thank you for the gift of music.  I can open myself to You through song.  I want to find the joy in every act; help me to see the blessings all around me.  "The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and he helps me.  My heart leaps for joy, and with my song I praise him."  ~Psalm 28:7

Song of Despair

I don't know what it is about the song from Joseph and the Technicolor Dreamcoat, Close Every Door, but it has a powerful message.  Take a listen:


Now, regardless of your favorite actor in the role of Joseph, you have to admit that the lyrics are pretty intense.  Quick background to the story, Joseph is wrongly accused and imprisoned because he would not compromise his morals.  He has already suffered the betrayal of his brothers, the humiliation of being sold as a slave, and just received an unjust accusation by a powerful man.  The future isn't looking so good.  Despite all that, Joseph has hope.  He acknowledges the hurt, betrayal, and pain, but he has faith that there is more to his story.

Realize - Joseph isn't discounting his value or his life, but he recognizes that God is so much bigger than his current troubles.  I especially like the line that says, "I know the answers are far from this world."  I think that directly relates to the human tendency to ask 'WHY?".  In the song, we hear that Joseph realizes he doesn't know why these things happened, and he knows he doesn't understand the reasons, but he trusts God.  God is faithful.

There are any number of verses in Scripture that relate to that very thought, and here are just a few.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him and he will make your paths straight."  ~Proverbs 3:5-6

"Know therefore that the Lord your God is God; he is the faithful God, keeping his covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep his commandments."  ~Deuteronomy 7:9

"I will praise you with the harp for your faithfulness, my God; I will sing praise to you with the lyre, Holy One of Israel."  ~Psalm 71:22

"God is faithful, who has called you into fellowship with his Son, Jesus Christ our Lord."  ~1 Corinthians 1:9

"But Christ is faithful as the Son over God's house.  And we are his house, if indeed we hold firmly to our confidence and the hope in which we glory."  ~Hebrews 3:5-7

While these may not satisfy our desire to know why or wrap our minds around pain and suffering, we can be assured that the God who created us and loves us, will NEVER abandon us.  We cannot use our human concept of faithfulness to understand God's covenant with us.  Humans can fail, we can disappoint; we can hurt those we love.  God is love, and God's love is perfect.  As we hear in 1 Corinthians:

"Love never fails . . . "  ~Corinthians 13:8a

Ultimately, Joseph's story doesn't end in prison.  He experiences a complete reversal in his fortune, and, through the divine grace of God's plan and Joseph's willingness to submit to that plan, Joseph ends up saving his family from the famine.  God's plan was so much bigger than Joseph's current trial.

I challenge you to consider your current struggles.  Is there a situation that you are questioning and you feel that you have been unjustly accused, humiliated, or betrayed?  I cannot tell you why these things happen or how exactly they will be used for good, but I know that we can trust God.  There is a plan.

Prayer - God, when I am in the midst of a trial and I cannot see beyond the hurt, anger, frustration or pain, soothe my soul with Your grace.  Speak the truth to my heart, reminding me that You are in control.  I pray that I can fully trust that You are faithful.

23rd Sunday in Ordinary Time - Wisdom in the Cross

http://usccb.org/bible/readings/090813.cfm

Quick recap:
1st Reading - Wisdom - humans are easily distracted and unable to grow in wisdom unless it is given by God.
Psalm 90 - Trusting God to always be present and recognizing God's wisdom
2nd Reading - Philemon - welcoming others as family
Gospel - Luke 14 - There is a price to pay when you say YES to Jesus.  We are not to be discouraged from becoming disciples, but realize that there is a cost.

So, this week's Gospel seems a little odd.  We are told to 'hate'?!  Now, remember, that's just a first glance response.  We know Jesus is love, so there's got to be more to it.

Well, the theme of wisdom is fairly predominant.  The first reading reminds us that wisdom is a gift from God.  As one of the gifts of the Holy Spirit, it is something we overlook.  Maybe we give ourselves credit for being smart, or we neglect to recognize it as a gift from God.  The psalm highlights God's wisdom and contrasts that with human action.  We begin to see our lives as a fleeting moment, owed completely to God.  It is God who directs our paths and our very being.  I had trouble seeing the connections with the 2nd reading.  So my take-away is the wisdom of relationships.  We must connect with those around us to create the Kingdom of Heaven right here and now.

Now, the Gospel starts out with a very blatant statement - hating family.  But, immediately following that was a statement about carrying our own cross in order to be a disciple.  So, consider the first line to be a realistic warning.  We cannot know the size of our crosses, but we must expect that we will have many crosses during our life.  Jesus is asking for a complete self-giving.  We can't give just an hour a week.  Being His disciple costs more.  So, we need to be aware of the cost.

One of the former pastors of my parish had a favorite line he used in wedding homilies, "If the bride and groom knew what the future held, they'd be headed for the exits in different directions!"  We don't know what the future holds, and we have to trust.  But saying 'Yes' isn't a halfway calling.  There is always room for growth and deeper relationship for God, but we must remain faithful, no matter the cross we carry.  We are not perfect, but with God's grace, we will have what we need.  There will likely be some challenges on the journey that we did not anticipate.  But, as the psalm reminds us, God is always faithful.  Always.

Prayer - Lord, help me to continue to embrace my cross, even when I feel I cannot go one more inch.  My strength is not sufficient, but Yours is perfect.  With You, I can wholeheartedly say "YES"!

Challenge - one of the songs we will be singing at Mass is "Glory in the Cross".  It's a great song for many reasons, but I want you to really focus on the refrain, 'Let us ever glory in the cross of Christ and the triumph of God's great love.'  If that is used in your parish, do you sing it and mean it?  Read the words (found here), and try and use it as your phrase this week, so that you can say you really do 'glory in the cross'.

Worn

This has been my go-to song since I went to the Tenth Avenue North concert (see post, lyrics, and music video here).  As I was driving back from my parents, I played this song over and over so I could learn all of the notes and words.  The message, the honesty, the melody; I love it all.  While I'm driving and thoroughly enjoying this music, I think to myself, 'This is a song I would want to have when I struggle.'  See, on that Sunday morning, life was great.  I had just spent time with family, had a nice change of scenery, and was excited to get back to Newman for Mass and a Baptism.  I enjoyed the song, but perhaps from more of a distance; the way one might appreciate a work of art.

Fast forward to the present.  I'm working on a big project that takes all of my free time, and it hasn't been smooth sailing.  Work was both a 'Monday' and a 'Tuesday' combined - double-whammy of stuff to accomplish.  My to do lists are growing like weeds and multiplying like rabbits (don't ask me how).  My phone keeps receiving emails and texts from people who need things - information, my time, my knowledge.  Now none of this is catastrophic by any means.  But when you add it all together, it's a bit . . . well . . . wearing.

I found this interesting in two ways.  One - the reminder to enjoy right now, because things can and will change.  I certainly wasn't praying for the opportunity to use that song as my prayer.  I wasn't secretly hoping to be in the position of feeling worn.  I am, however, thankful that I had discovered this song which so eloquently expressed my thoughts.  Which leads me to number two - even though my current predicament is frustrating - it is 'small potatoes'.  There are so many worse things which I could be facing.  But that is exactly what is so amazing about this song, and even more awesome about our God.  Everything is relative, and perspective is a good thing, however, in that moment, I was tired.  But I could relate to this song on so many levels, from the superficial stresses, to the loss of my niece, to whatever challenge I am facing right now.  Big or small, it fits.  Same goes for God.  I can trust God with my struggles, with my fears, my pain, my loss, my petty grievances, my anger - all of it!  God wants me to give it all - big or small, insignificant or life-changing.  So whether my soul feels crushed because of sin, imbalance in my life, or too many things on my to-do list, God is right here, with arms open, waiting for me to release my burden.

Prayer - God, I am worn.  Today it is the small things I have let build up.  I have allowed distractions to take my focus off of You.  Help me re-balance myself in You by letting go of my burdens, big and small.  I can trust You with all parts of my life, even the frustrating and mundane.  Help me seek You at all times.

Thankful Thursday 9-5

I am very thankful for support.  I have a great group of women with whom I meet every week, and they are such a blessing.  I can trust them with my ups and downs, and I know they share my joys and my struggles.  They keep me accountable, on track (mostly), and they love me as I am.  If you do not have a group such as this, I strongly recommend you fix that immediately.  Life has such a brighter outlook when you surround yourself with like-minded people.  For me, my group is where I 'check-in' - am I actually practicing what I preach?  Did I really listen to the Scripture on Sunday, or was I too busy with my own plans?  Did I stumble?  Do I need a gentle nudge or a sharp poke in the ribs - my group can supply either one, depending on my level of feisty-ness!

How do you find such a group?  First, you've got to be one of those people.  If you want upbeat, faith-filled Christians in your group, you need to be one!  Second, get involved.  For me, this particular group came out of my Catholics Encounter Christ weekend.  However, you can make connections with people from your church, bible study, a retreat, or among your friends.  Third, just do it.  Meet regularly.  Even when you don't feel like it.  (Hint - that's probably when you need it the most.  At least that's how it works for me!)

Prayer - Lord, I think I don't have time to do any more, but I forget that neglecting my faith-life is a very dangerous corner to cut.  Help me see the need for balance in my life, and to appreciate the blessings of those who help me to keep that balance.  When life goes off-kilter, I know You are there, and You have placed people in my life to support me.  For this I am grateful.

22nd Sunday in Ordinary Time - part 2

See previous part 1 here.

Humility - everyone's favorite topic.  Or not.  It's not my favorite word.  But Jesus thought it was worth a parable, so let's try to see it from His view.

Definition of humility - the quality or condition of being humble; modest opinion or estimate of one's own importance, rank, etc.

Okay, so what is the definition of humble?  According to http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/humble

hum·ble

  [huhm-buhl, uhm-]  Show IPA adjective,hum·bler, hum·blest, verb, hum·bled, hum·bling.

adjective

1.

not proud or arrogant; modest: to be humble although successful.

2.

having a feeling of insignificance, inferiority, subservience, etc.:In the presence of so many world-famous writers I felt very humble.

3.

low in rank, importance, status, quality, etc.; lowly: of humbleorigin; a humble home.

4.

courteously respectful: In my humble opinion you are wrong.

5.

low in height, level, etc.; small in size: a humble member of thegalaxy.

Hmmm.  I see why we shy away from this word.  Definition #1 is good.  We like people who aren't arrogant.  But definition #2 is very contrary to our society.  In a world that constantly asks 'what's in it for ME?', being considered inferior is like a social death blow.  Definition #3 is also socially contrary, but definition #4 is another quality we like in others:  respect.  (Side note - the sentence used to illustrate #4 "In my humble opinion you are wrong,"  seems to me to almost NEVER be used with respect.  We generally use it as sarcasm, thus negating the meaning of humble in that context.  Confused yet?)  Definition #5 is another interesting twist from society.  Society puts a negative emphasis on humble in that context.  It is considered almost regretful to be short or small.  In a world of 'bigger is better', it's hard to be okay with being humble.

So there are aspects of being humble that everyone likes . . . . in someone else!  We like to be called modest and courteous, true.  However, humility has the slight social taint that we aren't sure we want to be attributed directly to us.  Thus the battle of human and divine.  Jesus calls us to be humble, yet our world views that as a weakness.  So, what's so great about being humble?  Why does Jesus call us to humility?  First - we need to view humility as Jesus does, removing our human bias.  I've heard many excellent homilies that use the following phrase to update our thinking on humility:

Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it's thinking of yourself less.  ~C.S. Lewis

Do you see the difference?  Just by switching the order of 3 words, we come up with a whole new understanding.  Yes, our human reaction may be to balk at the concept of humility, since we tend to associate it with words like wimp, doormat, pushover, etc.  But in the Gospel, Jesus isn't asking us to be a coward.  He is telling us to take our focus and energy and direct it outside of ourselves.  We are used to the refrain of "me, me, me", and that doesn't leave any time or energy for others.  So instead of thinking only of ourselves, we are called to think of others.

I get the feeling that Jesus was being tongue-in-cheek with this parable.  I mean, He's telling people how to be exalted?  No - he's using the parable to poke us out of complacency.  He presents the concept in a way that our socially-conscious ego can handle.  Jesus knows us well.

Prayer - Lord, You know me better than I know myself.  Help me to understand humility as You do.  It is not a badge of shame, but rather a desire to be like You.

Matthew 11:28-30  "Come to me, all you that are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light."  (emphasis mine)