It's Not Easy

Why does 'doing the right thing' have to be hard?  Why can't it be easy?  I really wanted to be mad at someone today.  I wanted to ignore them, and respond with curt answers to their questions, and let them know that I was not happy with them.  Fortunately (or unfortunately, depending on my mood), a little voice kept reminding me that I had to treat that person with respect, even if I was angry with them.  I guess that's the catch when you develop a good conscience - you can't turn it off!  It seems like life is going good, and then one day we get blindsided by something.  It doesn't even have to be something major; sometimes a little quirk or comment can do the trick.  From there, something else gets added to our plate, we learn about a deadline we have to quickly meet, and pretty soon we're overwhelmed, frustrated, and ready to pick a fight with anyone.  And yes, it's okay to feel those things, but it's not okay to lash out or be unreasonable.  And, for me, being angry and being reasonable don't ever walk hand in hand.  In the heat of the moment, I want to plot my strategy and plan my revenge.  It feels satisfying to have an outlet for the emotions brewing inside.  But, if I am lucky enough to listen, my conscience nudges me, making me remember that I did offer today up to God.  I get something like an elbow to the ribs, reminding me that I can't preach about goodness and love if I don't practice them, and that RIGHT NOW is a great time to start.  Once I wrap my mind around that, it's hard to hold onto my anger.  At that point it would be easy to berate myself and wonder if I will ever learn how to control my thoughts and actions, seeing how easy it was to get off track.  But I realize that recognizing my errors and working to correct them is pleasing to God.  Humans are not perfect (regardless of what I claim to the contrary), and why would we want to be?  Perfection is monotonous.  It might be exciting for a while, but without the peaks and valleys, it is flat and lifeless.  There is no potential.  In our lives, with all of our faults and weaknesses and gifts and talents the possibilities are endless.  And it is in those valleys that we can learn the biggest lessons and grow the most.  We also know that it can be a painful process, but ultimately it is worth the price.  So the next time I am faced with a difficult situation, I hope that I hear my conscience lecturing me to do the right thing, particularly when I don't want to, and that I do it, remembering that my effort to overcome is just as pleasing to God as the outcome.