Waiting

Wait for the Lord, take courage; be stouthearted, wait for the Lord! ~Psalm 27:14

I love to wait . . . . [said no one, ever]!

Umm, no thank you.

While there are different levels of waiting i.e. waiting for results from a medical test, waiting for news of a baby's birth, waiting for a family celebration, it can be hard to have joy when the waiting feels prolonged or without fruit.  I'm not referring to waiting for a pizza delivery or for the book you've been dying to read, either!  This is the waiting that involves soul-searching and trust in God.

The Puzzle of Life

 I cam across this quote recently, and it really resonated with me.  

If you can trust a puzzle company to make sure every piece is in the box to complete the puzzle, then why can't you trust God that every piece of your life is there for a reason?

I love puzzles, whether jigsaw or not.  I like the challenge of taking a bunch of seemingly random pieces and seeing them take shape.  I enjoy the thrill of putting in the final piece, or the joy of finally finding the right place for that stubborn piece that looked like it was in the wrong puzzle box!  I've frantically searched for missing pieces that seemingly vanished and leave the puzzle unfinished (maybe they went to the place that missing socks live?!).  I've placed pieces where I thought they fit, then discovered the piece that truly fits and had to change what I thought was complete.

What an amazing analogy for life!!!!!

Thankful Thursday - Home, sweet home

Well, that was fast.

As in, I got an offer on my house and they wanted to close in 15 days!  Yikes.  Yesterday was closing, and now I am without a house.  Thanks to my fabulous realtor, Steve, for his time and commitment.  I am grateful for the opportunity to work with him.  God is good.

Having listed my house in January, shortly after I opened the current chapter in my life journey, I wasn't sure what to expect in terms of speed.  "The housing market is good," they said.  "Your house will sell quickly," they said.  I guess it's all relative.  

It's official!

It was definitely evident that God had a plan, even if I didn't know the details of said plan.  For one thing, I was never panicked about the sale of my house.  That's not to say I didn't have moments of anxiety or doubt.  Yet, I had a peace about the situation that wasn't of this world.  I am grateful that God granted me the grace of patience in this situation.  I had just experienced God's plan when I accepted my new job, so it made sense that this would have been figured out already.  Cross that off of my to-do list :-)

One thing that really made me smile was the timing of the offer.  I had been planning a surprise party on May 1, and the venue ended up being my unoccupied house, for lack of a better option.  The phone call about the offer came April 27, and I just knew that the timing was certainly of God - enough time to wrap things up, have the party, finalize details, and revel in God's goodness.  I liked the idea, too, that this happened around Tasha's birthday - I'm sure she had her fingers in there as well.

Celebrating the sale :-)

What's next?  I'm not sure.  In the next moments, I want to focus on God's goodness and the gifts I have received.  I cannot express enough how thankful I am for everyone's love and support.  So I will close with this prayer:

Ephesians 3:14-19  "For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name.  I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith.  And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord's holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge - that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God."

The house formerly known as mine :-)

The 11th Hour

I know I've got a few posts in the wings that need to come out, but I wanted to comment on something I heard at Mass Monday night.  In the last day(s) before Christmas, we must remember that we are still in Advent.  There may be lists and tasks and distractions, but our spiritual preparations are not yet finished.  There are still graces to be received, and we shouldn't rush ahead to Christmas without fully living the Advent season.  It's tough, I know.  As with most holidays (secular or religious-based), the day after the event marks the countdown to the next holiday!  As Christians, Christmas begins after Advent ends, and continues through to the Baptism of our Lord, celebrated 2 Sundays later, which hinges Christmas and Ordinary time in our liturgical year.  The twelve days of Christmas (which isn't just a long Christmas song) begin the day AFTER Christmas.

I'm as guilty as the next person, but the great thing is that I can change.  I will work on being mindful of the season, doing my best to be fully present in the present.  I challenge you to make a quick Advent prayer, perhaps asking for the graces that God wishes to impart in the final hours of this season of preparation.  What spiritual blessings are waiting for us, for our undivided attention?  

Prayer - Lord, it is sometimes tough to live in the present.  Help us focus on this time of preparation so that we can be receive Your abundant graces, just as the fields receive rain in due time.  Your timing is perfect; help us trust in You.

"Therefor be patient, brethren, until the coming of the Lord.  The farmer waits for the precious produce of the soil, being patient about it, until it gets the early and late rains.  You too be patient; strengthen your hearts, for the coming of the Lord is near."  ~James 5:7-8

Thankful Thursday 12/4/14

I'm falling into my trap of perfection again.  If I don't reflect properly or quickly or some other adverb, then I can't post anything until I catch up.  It's a terrible misconception on my part.  On one hand, there are so many great things during the season of Advent which lend to my reflection and contemplation.  On the other hand, I believe that there will always be opportunities for reflection, so waiting doesn't get me anywhere in my writing.

Quandary of quandaries.  This feels very chicken/egg :)

So, in the interest of consistency, here is my latest 'Thankful Thursday', albeit a little delayed:

The season of Advent is my current chart-topper in thankfulness.  I have been experiencing such depth during this time, and a sense of peace.  There are so many questions, unknowns, and varieties of chaos in my life currently, yet I can trust that God has a plan.  A recent conversation with a friend reaffirmed my viewpoint.  We were discussing a longing that has been growing in me, and I commented that I felt like Advent was a good time to journey with this desire.  She agreed, and encouraged me to focus on this season of waiting as a parallel to my questions on my journey.  I have the ability to help others discern and identify their feelings, which generally means that I can't do that as well for myself.  It was wonderful to hear that feedback and have my uncertain vision lightened by her words.

Prayer - Lord, thank you for a season that gives me an opportunity to wait.  Help me to open my heart to Your call, learning to trust in Your plan.

"For I know well the plans I have in mind for you - oracle of the Lord - plans for your welfare and not for woe, so as to give you a future of hope."  ~Jeremiah 29:11

This moment

What does God want me to get out of this moment?

A very wise person (who happens to be my sister) encouraged me to ponder this question after I called her wanting a magic wand to solve life's questions and problems.  I had arrived at an impasse, and there was really nothing I could do but wait.  Not my action of choice, especially at that moment.  I was frustrated, anxious, irritable, tired, and confused.  She managed to put things in perspective when she shared something she had read, which her spiritual director had shared with her.  (Thank goodness for spiritual directors!)  As I was contemplating my feelings, next actions, and life in general, she suggested that I stop and ask myself, 'What does God want me to get out of this moment?'

Maybe it was the opportunity to practice patience.  Or so I could be motivated to think about things differently.  Maybe it was so I would call my sister.  I don't know the answer, but I do know that there is a very valuable lesson for me.  The only way I will discover the answer is to be in conversation with God.  To look at this situation through God's lens gives me a whole new perspective.  Rather than feel helpless or frustrated, I can grow, if I am willing to let go.  I guess that's why people say, 'Have faith.'  We may not have all the details, the road map, or a Sherpa to guide us, but we have God.  Sometimes we have to let go of our small plans to receive better ones.

So, I will live in the moment, and do the best I can, while God prepares and molds me.  It's not easy, but it will be worth it.
  

Distractions part 2

Read part 1 here.

Another observation about distractions - what am I doing to limit or control them?  I can't control the weather or health issues or a friend's crisis, but I can reevaluate my environment, habits, and temptations.  Here's an example:  I have a library of books.  Literally.  I am passionate about reading and learning, and I have nurtured this by collecting lots and lots of books.  Those who have helped me move over the years can attest to my love of books - sorry!  More recently, however, I have begun evaluating both the purpose and value of my books.  Books have distracted me for years and years, and now I want to consider the source.  What value am I getting from these books?  How are they helping me reach my life goals?  Reading a book for enjoyment is okay, but what about reading to learn more about my faith?  I have many interests and priorities that need to balance with my limited free time.  If I truly wish to become a better person as I journey towards Heaven, I have to remove some of the lesser distractions in my life.  This is not an easy task.  

Distractions part 1

I had a conversation last week about distractions, and surprise, surprise, we got distracted!  The conversation went something like this:

'Did you print that report for me?'
'No, I'm sorry.  I got distracted.'
'That's okay - you have a lot of things to distract you.  My friend would call that ADOS.'
'ADOS?'
'Attention Deficit - Oooohhhhh Shiny!'
Laughter ensues.  Cue curtain.

I still smile when I think of that conversation.  Humor is definitely healing.  However, there is a truth to that statement that interrupts our lives and disrupts our relationship with God and others.  Ever since that day, I've been more aware of the distractions in life.  I know - there will always be something to distract us.  I believe, however, that we can and should work to prevent distractions from ruling our lives.  If we don't, all we do is flit from one shiny thing to another.  I think there is another way.

Never-ending

Never-ending.  When I look at my trees this time of year, it makes me tired.  Being a newer home owner, I have a different appreciation for fall.  I appreciate when all of the leaves in the neighborhood are picked up!
Don't get me wrong. I love fall. I love the change of season and the beautiful colors.  Every day, I see something in nature that takes my breath away.

But I've noticed that as my leaves (and those of my neighbors) continue to fall, I become less able to see past the work that those leaves represent.  I get caught up in logistics and details.  Saturday is the only day I can do yard work, will the weather cooperate?  My waste bin isn't big enough, what do I do with the extra leaves? Will my arms put up with the time it takes to rake everything, or will they (my arms) turn to mush before I'm done?  Yada yada yada.

When the lights went out

Okay - this isn't a dramatic story of a big ice storm or dangerous tornado.  It's actually rather mundane, and that's why I think it's worth noting.  Let me explain.

It was a Monday (in more ways than just the day of the week).  It had been an extremely busy day at work, filled with lots of catching up and unexpected meetings that took time I needed to spend on other projects.  I worked late, and just had the urge to go home and veg out.  I even stopped to pick up some microwave popcorn, as I thought I 'deserved' a reward.

I came up to my driveway and hit my garage door button.  Nothing.  Okay, the button can be temperamental.  Tried it again.  Nope.  Sitting in front of the garage door - definitely in range.  Nada.  So I get out, open the car door and unlock my people door to the garage.  I've already started thinking about how this is an inconvenience, and tomorrow morning I'm going to have to put the door up from the inside, back out, go back in and put the door down, then go out through the people door.  Well, I push the button inside the garage.  Nothing.  Now I'm really puzzled.  I look up at the ceiling (you know, in case the garage door opener has a neon sign explaining why it won't cooperate), but don't see random pieces hanging at odd angles.

I get a bad feeling in my stomach, and I go to look at my freezer.  No light.  I look at the outlet where the freezer is plugged in.  My mind must be playing tricks on me - if the freezer is plugged in, the light should be on.  Then it sinks in - no power.

Great - just what I wanted after a crazy day.  A day where I worked at not being stressed out, even with so many things needing my attention.  I was good!  I didn't get frustrated with co-workers, I tried to be gracious with interruptions, and this is the thanks I get?  Not my finest response, but it was very human.

As I went to check out the breaker box (while still turning on light switches out of habit), I thought about all the things "I" planned to get done.  None of them could be accomplished without electricity.  This day was throwing more wrenches into my plans than I thought possible.  Couldn't I get a break?  I checked everything I knew to check, called in my outage, and then I called my sister.  I wanted some advice and a ear for my whining.  First things first - did I pay my electric bill?  Ha ha.  Not the response I was looking for.  "Yes, I did," I responded.  Next step - check with the neighbors.  Yep - no power there either.  I felt a little better.  I wasn't in this alone.  My sister is being a good listener, up until I complain that I can't do anything without electricity.  As soon as I said it - I knew I left myself wide open for her next comment.  I knew, I just knew that she would tell me I could always pray.  She said, "Maybe God was trying to tell you something."  Okay - here it comes, I should pray, I shouldn't complain, keep things in perspective, etc.  But her next sentence wasn't what I expected.

"Maybe the electricity went out so you would call me and I could hear your voice on a Monday."  Wait, what?  Here I was all wrapped up in my 'problems', and my sister was just happy that I called her on a Monday (our typical day to talk is Wednesday).  That threw me off.  She was happy to hear from me.  We shared our mutual 'case of the Mondays' stories, and I felt so much better.  If the lights hadn't stopped working (along with every other electronic gadget in my home), I wouldn't have reached out to her and the chance for sharing each others burdens would have been missed.

I know, nothing earth-shattering about this story, and that's why it hits me even more.  Life isn't point A to point B alone.  It all the in-between stuff as well.  Sometimes it's big and sometimes it's small.  And sometimes it's dark, but that can be okay too :-)

Prayer - Lord, help me to shut off the distractions in my life.  Sometimes I need a reminder that connecting with another person is more important than my to-do list.  I have opportunities all around me, but I don't always take advantages of those times, especially when they are disguised as inconveniences or disruptions to my plans.  Help me rely on Your plan and Your timing.  

With patience, anything is possible

I was recently reading my book titled, "The Spiritual Combat and a Treastise on Peace of Soul" by Dom Lorenzo Scupoli.  Excellent book.  A little bit difficult to read from both the use of obscure language and the depth of theology, but well worth the effort.  One of the chapters was expressing the importance of constant effort to obtaining virtues, and it suggested finding bible verses that relate to the virtue in question.  Naturally, the virtue that was sampled in the chapter was patience.  Gosh, I'm really getting lots of messages about patience.  I think I'd better pay attention!  Here is a sampling of the verses from the chapter:

"The patience of the poor shall not perish, or be deprived of its reward."  Psalm 9:19

"The patient man is better than the valiant; and he that ruleth his spirit, than he that taketh cities."  Proverbs 16:32

"By your patience you will win your souls."  Luke 21:19

That last verse caught my attention immediately.  It sounds so simple, but it's harder than you'd think.  It is hard to be patient, even when you have a very good reason for doing so.  I guess I'm going to have to ask God for some extra help on that, since I value my soul over anything.

Prayer - Deep breath.  Lord, when I struggle to be patient, grant me the grace to release the distracting emotions and focus on the greater goal.  For by practicing patience, I become more open to Your divine plan.  I do want to please You, even if I can be incredibly slow in practicing what I know is right.  I trust You.  I want to win my soul for You.

Patience

Some days I want to say, "Lord, give me patience, and give it to me right now!"  Why is patience so hard?  I can think of a few possible reasons:

1.  We are a society of instant gratification.  We don't have to wait for food (fast food), movies (on-demand video & DVR), music (iTunes), so why should we have to wait for God?
2.  It is culturally acceptable to be "me" focused.  When we focus on ourselves and our wants instead of other people we become even more demanding and less patient.
3.  We are relationship-deprived.  Our communication methods focus less on building a relationship and more on superficial interactions.
4.  We are a sideline society.  We expect to be entertained rather than be engaged.

I'm sure there are a great deal more items that could be listed.  It all ads up to a whole lot of people who haven't had the opportunity (or maybe, more accurately, haven't wanted the opportunity) to learn patience.  Patience has a different appearance.

1.  Patience asks us to wait.  We may not like waiting, but we are able to slow down the chaotic pace of our lives when we realize that waiting is natural.  Who doesn't like to get out of the frenzy of the demands in our life?
2.  Patience means sometimes putting others first.  It's not that we are never first, or always last, but that we see others' needs as well as our own.  We learn the gratification that comes from fulfilling another person's desires.  Which ties directly into . . .
3.  Patience needs others to work best.  When we involve others in our lives, we begin to learn and care about them.  This makes it a little easier to be patient and may even increase our desire to put someone else first.
4.  Patience, while it can be experienced/struggled with alone, grows even more when we share our challenges with someone else.  It can be God, a friend, confidant, or the person stuck in the elevator with you.  If we participate in life, involving others, it makes the waiting easier to bear.

Yes, this is a narrow view of patience.  Waiting on important news or medical test results may make it much harder to connect with the virtues of patience.  But we are not meant to journey alone, so every time we are asked to wait, whether it is in our control or not, our journey is made easier when we share our burdens and our joys.