I cam across this quote recently, and it really resonated with me.
If you can trust a puzzle company to make sure every piece is in the box to complete the puzzle, then why can't you trust God that every piece of your life is there for a reason?
I love puzzles, whether jigsaw or not. I like the challenge of taking a bunch of seemingly random pieces and seeing them take shape. I enjoy the thrill of putting in the final piece, or the joy of finally finding the right place for that stubborn piece that looked like it was in the wrong puzzle box! I've frantically searched for missing pieces that seemingly vanished and leave the puzzle unfinished (maybe they went to the place that missing socks live?!). I've placed pieces where I thought they fit, then discovered the piece that truly fits and had to change what I thought was complete.
Advent is upon us, and we have less than one week before Christmas! While I'm spiritually preparing for Christmas, my social obligations and gifts are a different story. I don't feel prepared. I don't have cards written; my decorations are missing - you might wonder why I've embraced the minimalist approach to Christmas decor and not my desk! On one hand, I'm not interested in skipping over Advent just because it's socially acceptable to do. This really awesome video does an excellent summary of Advent.
Happy Feast of All Saints! There are so many wonderful men and women who have gone before us, giving us examples of how to live, or sometimes, what NOT to do! I think there is a saint for almost any situation/career/grace that you could think of. What inspires me the most is that many of the saints are ordinary people who loved God completely. As we heard at Mass today, we don't have to be a St. Thomas Aquinas (very scholarly) or St. Theresa of Kolkata (working with the poorest of the poor). Yet we are not excused from being saint just because we don't think we can measure up. Sainthood is not only defined by great acts, although there are many saints who were heroic in their actions. To me, being a saint is as basic as Matthew Kelly's famous catchphrase - "Becoming the best version of ourselves." I love that expression, because it highlights two things: 1) That we don't have to becomeanyone other than ourselves. We are quality material! 2) We were designed to be saints from the beginning of our very existence. It is in our spiritual DNA! In our homily today, we heard that doing small things with great love is a saintly act. Many saints espouse that motto, but one of the best is St. Therese.
"Little things done out of love are those that charm the Heart of Christ… On the contrary, the most brilliant deeds, when done without love, are but nothingness."
One of my favorite songs, taken from Revelation 7, is Worthy is the Lamb. When you read Scripture and listen to the song, you see the beautiful correlations.
I, John, saw another angel come up from the East, holding the seal of the living God. He cried out in a loud voice to the four angels who were given power to damage the land and the sea, “Do not damage the land or the sea or the trees until we put the seal on the foreheads of the servants of our God.” I heard the number of those who had been marked with the seal, one hundred and forty-four thousand marked from every tribe of the children of Israel.
After this I had a vision of a great multitude, which no one could count, from every nation, race, people, and tongue. They stood before the throne and before the Lamb, wearing white robes and holding palm branches in their hands. They cried out in a loud voice:
“Salvation comes from our God, who is seated on the throne, and from the Lamb.”
All the angels stood around the throne and around the elders and the four living creatures. They prostrated themselves before the throne, worshiped God, and exclaimed:
“Amen. Blessing and glory, wisdom and thanksgiving, honor, power, and might be to our God forever and ever. Amen.”
Then one of the elders spoke up and said to me, “Who are these wearing white robes, and where did they come from?” I said to him, “My lord, you are the one who knows.” He said to me, “These are the ones who have survived the time of great distress; they have washed their robes and made them white in the Blood of the Lamb.”
Any time I sing and/or play for Mass, I try to be fully present. This means truly believing what I'm singing, and thus, singing with conviction and emphasis. This song resonates with me, and I find it easy to pour my heart into the music. There are not enough words to describe Jesus' gift of salvation, and any attempt will fall short. Yet, my attempts to do so are a gift to God. The fact that I recognize how inadequate my words are, how inept my actions can be, reinforces the beauty of God's love. God is pleased with my attempts, minor though they are. I consider this to be practice for the glorious day when we are robed in white, praising God non-stop. So, until that day comes, we must continue to strive to be worthy, as God is.
Prayer - Lord, help me to grow in awareness of Your greatness. Open my eyes to Your beauty and power. Grant me the ability to see You in my life, so that I may live every day and every moment for You. May I continually strive to attain You. Amen.
Okay, I'm a few days off, but it was a short week and I got my days messed up. That's my story, and I'm sticking to it :-) I wanted to post a quick update on my great-nephew. He is doing very well. Scans are showing positive results, and each day seems to bring more good news. Thank you for your love and prayers. I was discussing this in my prayer group earlier this week, and trying to identify my deepest feelings. I know life is short, and generally shorter than we anticipate. Carter's story could have gone much differently. I wrestled with my feelings; would I still be praising God if it had been bad news, instead of good? God is able to handle all of my messy emotion and irrational behavior, thank goodness. But would I have trusted Him if 'my' prayers weren't answered? Sometimes we don't know the answer to those questions until we are in that situation. I'd like to think that at some point I would conclude that I trust God, in the good and in the bad. In the meantime, I'm trying to focus on God, knowing that terrible things can be used for good. It's like spiritual exercise - just as an athlete trains for their next event, I want to prepare my soul for the challenges coming. Death, loss, destruction, evil. They are part of our fallen world. Yet we know:
"In the world you will have trouble, but take courage, I have conquered the world." ~John 16:33b
Prayer - Lord, Your love of us is beyond comprehension. You feel our hurt, pain, and confusion as we struggle in this world. Help us to cling to You, secure in the knowledge that whatever befalls us, You are present. May we bless You always.
It's been a strange month for me. I haven't written much here, and I've tried to avoid thinking about why. I have so many thoughts and inspirations, but I haven't given them or myself an outlet. I think I was frustrated with God, and was using passive-agressive behavior to retaliate. The childish attitude that 'I'm going to purposefully snub this gift, or something.' Obviously, not much logic involved. It became easier to ignore the desire to write than to do something about it. Given enough time, I could have pretended it didn't matter if I never continued. But that's not true. Because by not writing, I'm not being honest with myself or to God. Granted, God already knows all that there is to know, and loves me anyway. But I still like to pretend that if I don't tell God, He doesn't know :-)
Prayer is a funny thing. You never know what might happen when you pray. It can be dangerous; you might end up changed. Well, actually you should be changed, if you're doing it right. There are many books and resources on prayer that can define and dissect this occurrence much better than I. So I will stick with reflecting on personal experience and go from there.
If I stop to think about prayer, I would call it a conversation between God and I. Except, if I'm being honest, my prayer tends to go one of two ways: 1 - my list of demands/requests/complaints/sorrows (depending on the day or my mood) or 2 - gratitude for blessings. The part that is not equally represented is my time to listen to God. See, both of the previous conversation types are pretty one-sided. It's not that God doesn't want to hear my troubles or my joys; God wants it all. Yet, to truly have a conversation, there needs to be listening on my side as well. I really recognized this last Advent, and worked on prioritizing prayer time. Like exercising, healthy eating, or building any good habit, it's hard. It takes commitment; sometimes more commitment than I want to give. I'm slowly growing in my awareness of this deficiency, which is big. Isn't the first step admitting you have a problem? :)
How do you hear God? Could you recognize God's voice? What does it sound like?
Read Prayer - part 1 here. I've been prayerfully pondering this post for quite some time, and I didn't quite know how to finish out this particular topic. I think I've experienced my answer. The past two weeks have wreaked havoc on my sense of normalcy and control. I don't believe that I control my universe, but I do have a certain level of expectation on how things will proceed in an average day. That was not the case in the recent past. This was exacerbated by the excitement and stress of my upcoming pilgrimage. So, not only was I not experiencing my healthy self with normal stress/routine, I was upping the ante with illness and chaos. Again, what I have experienced is not catastrophic by any stretch of the imagination, but I think the lessons learned can apply to many situations. During this time, those who knew I was sick offered prayers. The people closest to me offered lots of prayers and sacrifices. It was a bit overwhelming. When I started the post on prayer, I was on the giving end of prayer. Now, as I finish part 2, I'm on the receiving end of prayer. It's a unique place to be. Similar to the situation of the pray-er, now as the 'pray-ee', I am finding a variety of responses to this situation. I've also noticed that my response can vary depending on the closeness of my relationship to the person offering prayers. Personally, I have generally responded in 3 ways: surprise, defensiveness, gratitude
A recent conversation with a friend centered around a request for prayers. It is sometimes disconcerting to be asked to pray. I find that I generally have one of three responses: 1 - Overwhelemd/honored. It is a little intimidating to have someone request your prayers for a situation. 2 - Disbelief. If they really knew me, they wouldn't ask me to pray. What could I possibly accomplish? 3 - Initial enthusiasm/agreement, and then forgetting their request. I would compare this to the way we may respond to to the generic inquiry of 'How are you?' and our subsequent 'Fine.' Our polite niceties usually fail to actually connect to the other person, which can be the case when we are approached to pray for something. We agree, because that is the expected response, but do we go any deeper? Do we actually follow through?
As I have journeyed in my faith life, I still experience all three of these thought processes. As I'm preparing for my trip to the Holy Land, I have experienced the feeling of a great gift when someone asks me to pray for them or their intention. This doesn't come from a sense of superiority, but rather a realization that because of our unity and communion through Jesus Christ, we are all connected. As it states in Romans 12:4-5, "For just as we have many members in one body and all the members do not have the same function, so we, who are many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another." The prayers of all members become my prayer, and vice versa.
It's less then a month from the start of my trip. A lot can happen in that time. I feel as though time will simultaneously crawl and fly. Not sure how that could be possible, but that's just the sense I get. I've already begun packing, or at least collecting the items I will need.
I have finished my 'guide book', Jesus: A Pilgrimage
by Fr. James Martin. Highly recommend. It's like a pilgrimage without the hassle of travel! I am diligently exercising for our tour, and I'm praying. My prayer requests include the desire that this is a fruitful trip, and that I am open to God.
Advent has been a great time to prepare. The anticipation that describes our Advent journey, certainly applies here. I think my biggest challenge is/will be enjoying process before the trip even happens. So many good things have come into my life already. I've had an outpouring of prayer support, several conversations with people who have been there, and opportunities to share my faith with people of all faiths. It's overwhelming and humbling all at once.
One of the most incredible parts of my preparation so far has been the prayer requests. When I started telling friends and family, I offered to carry any prayer requests they had. I was not prepared for the immense feeling of purpose I had when people shared their requests with me. I was not prepared for the weight of responsibility that I felt. My trip took on another dimension once I offered to be a messenger. It's not that I believe God hears prayers better from the Holy Land, but the power of intercessory prayer became very apparent. I have begun and continue to lift up the prayer requests as a part of my preparation. It has also reminded me to identify my own prayers so I can recognize God's answer when it comes.
The journey continues, each day bringing me closer to one of my heart's desires. Psalm 37:4 fits my thoughts so well right now, "Find your delight in the Lord who will give you your heart's desire."
I hope to keep living this, long after I return from this pilgrimage.
It's been an incredible week. Lots of good things happening in my world and internally in my prayer life. One thing that I am most thankful for right now is my spiritual resolution to make prayer time a priority. Since Advent marks the beginning of a new liturgical year, it makes sense to consider some spiritual resolutions, just like many people do at the beginning of new calendar year. Yes, I usually make resolutions, and no, I don't always keep them. However, the idea of spiritual resolutions really intrigued me. I believe each day is a new opportunity to start fresh or continue a good work. That's forgiveness, mercy, and grace in action! So, I decided to work on my prayer life as a spiritual resolution.
A recent post (read it) mentioned intentional living. The term came from some Matthew Kelly materials I'd been reading/listening to (Check out some of my recommendations here). Many of the talks I'd heard referred to 'intentionality' or moving forward with purpose. I think most of his books refer to this idea in some form. It's a focus that I've been trying to incorporate in my life, but not always successfully.
In a very broad sense, intentional living means I am discerning God's Will and doing my best to move forward. In a more practical sense, I am prudent in my choices, and moving forward with a plan, rather than waiting for life to happen to me. What surprises me is how much this sounds like entrepreneurship or corporate America. Isn't the 'American Dream' going after what you want? Maybe so, but the very BIG difference is that intentional living is not about personal gain, but rather spiritual gain. I suppose these paths are not mutually exclusive, but don't confuse the differences.
I had an 'animated' conversation with God last night. I was frustrated and tired, and asked God to make my next step apparent. The particular situation in question was beyond my control, and needed Divine Intervention, either in the form of a change of the situation or a change in my desires.
I went to sleep, and when I got up the next morning, I remembered my plea. I pondered what might develop, and then proceeded to prepare for the day. In the mornings, my routine doesn't vary much, other than how much time I procrastinate :) The part that does change is my audio environment. Most mornings I get ready in outward silence, because I have so many thoughts and ideas going through my head, I don't miss the external noise. There are times, however, when I will crank up a playlist or audio book or listen to my morning prayers. Today, I was drawn to a playlist. I have lots of options, to fit lots of moods. One of my favorites is my 'Inspirational' list, and that one gets a lot of play. I hit play on my tablet and started brushing my teeth.
The song that started playing - I did not select a particular song, just the playlist, remember - was While I'm Waiting by John Waller. Wham! All I could do was smile and chuckle. "Okay God, I hear You!" It's an amazing song, and worth checking out.
Today is the Memorial of the Guardian Angels. I am so very thankful for angels, especially my guardian angel. One of my favorite prayers:
Angel of God, my guardian dear To whom God's love commits me here, Ever this day, be at my side To light, to guard, to rule and guide. Amen.
I can remember sitting on the steps, saying this prayer, before racing up to bed. This is still my bedtime prayer of choice, and it gives me comfort to know I'm not alone. My guardian angel has interceded for me many times, and has protected me many more. Her vehicle of choice is a dark pickup (if you want to know more, just ask). Most of all, she seeks to bring my soul to Heaven. I am in total agreement with that goal, so I think we make a good team.
I have always loved the image of the Guardian Angel watching over the children. At all times, help is near, whether we acknowledge it or not. God loves each of us so much, that we are gifted with an angel to help us. What a beautiful gift!
Prayer - Lord, thank you for the gift of my guardian angel. Help me to follow their lead so that I may always keep You in the center of my life. Thank you for the protection of my angel. May I be open to their guidance and nudging, so that one day they may escort my soul to You.
It's not about the song. It's some advice I gave a friend who was having a rough day. It's the kind of advice that will come back to bite me in the butt. Not that long ago I wrote about the problem with giving advice to someone. In my experience, if I give someone advice, I will have the opportunity to take my own advice in the very near future. So, in the conversation with my friend, I knew that God was preparing me for a situation in which that is the advice I will need to hear. I am NOT looking forward to this.
Dependence on God. 25 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat [or drink], or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing? 26 Look at the birds in the sky; they do not sow or reap, they gather nothing into barns, yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are not you more important than they? 27 Can any of you by worrying add a single moment to your life-span? Matthew 6:25-27
Saint Monica is the example of persistence in prayer. Her pleading to God for the conversion of her son, Augustine, was heard. What faith, to continue to pray, even when things seem impossible. She did not give up.
Are there prayers that you gave up because the progress was not immediately evident? Never doubt that your prayers are heard. Follow the example of Saint Monica - when in doubt, pray, pray, pray.
"Do not worry about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God." ~Philippians 4:6
A very wise person (who happens to be my sister) encouraged me to ponder this question after I called her wanting a magic wand to solve life's questions and problems. I had arrived at an impasse, and there was really nothing I could do but wait. Not my action of choice, especially at that moment. I was frustrated, anxious, irritable, tired, and confused. She managed to put things in perspective when she shared something she had read, which her spiritual director had shared with her. (Thank goodness for spiritual directors!) As I was contemplating my feelings, next actions, and life in general, she suggested that I stop and ask myself, 'What does God want me to get out of this moment?'
Maybe it was the opportunity to practice patience. Or so I could be motivated to think about things differently. Maybe it was so I would call my sister. I don't know the answer, but I do know that there is a very valuable lesson for me. The only way I will discover the answer is to be in conversation with God. To look at this situation through God's lens gives me a whole new perspective. Rather than feel helpless or frustrated, I can grow, if I am willing to let go. I guess that's why people say, 'Have faith.' We may not have all the details, the road map, or a Sherpa to guide us, but we have God. Sometimes we have to let go of our small plans to receive better ones.
So, I will live in the moment, and do the best I can, while God prepares and molds me. It's not easy, but it will be worth it.
I wonder if God smiles when we give advice to someone and then days later those very words come back to haunt us. A recent conversation with a friend via text/email highlighted this possibility for me. We have been friends for ages, and many times we both have been compelled to remind the other of the advice we were given, especially when one of us is complaining about a situation, stressed out, or just being difficult. Apparently I follow this pattern quiet diligently, as a recent conversation shows. I was wrestling with a situation and she was trying to be the voice of reason with these words, ". . . please put all of this in God's hands . . . easier said than done I know and I also know that this will be used against me some day soon."
I made a comment the other day that mosquitoes shouldn't be able to bite you when you are exercising. You are doing something healthy, and along comes a distraction with a really big itch. Doesn't seem right. Apparently the mosquito clan (similar to the mob or mafia) got wind of my comment and I became the target of retribution. I have bites on my bites and they itch like crazy.
I know. Big deal. Everyone gets mosquito bites. I may feel unfairly targeted (I think I must have tasty blood), but so what? Well, I thought there was a lesson to be learned. I didn't want all of my anti-itch efforts to be in vain.
by Fr. James Martin. Highly recommend. It's like a pilgrimage without the hassle of travel! I am diligently exercising for our tour, and I'm praying. My prayer requests include the desire that this is a fruitful trip, and that I am open to God. 
by John Waller. Wham! All I could do was smile and chuckle. "Okay God, I hear You!" It's an amazing song, and worth checking out.
