Precious Time

It's been a strange month for me.  I haven't written much here, and I've tried to avoid thinking about why.  I have so many thoughts and inspirations, but I haven't given them or myself an outlet.  I think I was frustrated with God, and was using passive-agressive behavior to retaliate.  The childish attitude that 'I'm going to purposefully snub this gift, or something.'  Obviously, not much logic involved.  It became easier to ignore the desire to write than to do something about it.  Given enough time, I could have pretended it didn't matter if I never continued.  But that's not true.  Because by not writing, I'm not being honest with myself or to God.  Granted, God already knows all that there is to know, and loves me anyway.  But I still like to pretend that if I don't tell God, He doesn't know :-)



So what ended this self-imposed exile?  Well, I had actually been pondering a new post this past week.  Lots of great potential on which to reflect:  Pentecost, time with family, a better attitude about life, a conversation with a friend, and the simple pleasure of reading good books.  So naturally, I start feeling pressure to write something inspired and beautiful.  What can I say, I'm complicated!

That pressure left when I had a phone call earlier today from my niece that her little boy was in the hospital with bleeding on his brain.  Perspective.  They have since learned that he has a blood clot the size of a golf ball, and will work to relieve pressure.  Tomorrow will be surgery to remove the blood vessels that have not grown properly.  That's when I knew what I wanted and needed to say.  Time is precious.  Simple, but so honest.  All of us have a definitive number of days, hours, and seconds on earth.  Some will be here much longer than others and vice versa.  My previous post was a remembrance of my beautiful niece.  Her life ended sooner than expected, and most would agree it was too soon.  Yet, I know and believe that God has a plan.  My great-nephew's current challenge is scary.  Life has no guarantees.  We don't come with 'best-used-by' dates for which we can prepare.  I am, once again, reminded of the importance to live life now.  It also reminds me that God is first and foremost, and if I'm not right with God, nothing else in life will go smoothly.

I was looking for a verse to express my thoughts, and I smiled when I came across this:

"Yet I consider life of no importance to me, if only I may finish my course and the ministry that I received from the Lord Jesus, to bear witness to the gospel of God's grace."  ~Acts 20:24

What hope and promise exist in this!  I am simultaneously encouraged and strengthened when I remember my real priority.  If I can live my life this way, I will have lived well.  So, after the range of emotions today, the out-pouring of prayers from friends and family, I am reminded that God is good, all the time.  And all the time, God is good.  Even, and maybe especially, when life is doing its worst.