With Lifted Hands

I'm a big fan of to-do lists.  I like LOVE the satisfaction of crossing something off or completing it and moving on to the next item.  While I may have way too many lists, they help motivate me, keep me accountable, and not forget something in the busy-ness of life.  In other words, they give me a sense of control.  And, if I'm honest, my to-do list is one of the few things in my life which I can control.  Whether it's big things or small, there's a lot that just is what it is, and we have to deal with the good, bad and ugly every day.  

But today, I had an insight about my relationship with God and my attempts to control that as well!  Thankfully, I don't have to achieve a certain status or perfection in my life to be in a relationship with God, but I do like to bring my lists to God.  That's not a bad thing at all, but I tend to present them in the following mindset, "Okay God, here's where I'm struggling, and this is the healing I'm praying for, and I'm lifting up XYZ."  Sounds a lot like my to-do lists.  But prayer, and especially a relationship with God, is not lived out in a checklist of to-dos.  Moving through my prayer requests doesn't get me to the next level or earn me a gold star.  When I think I'm being efficient and organized, I'm actually missing the bigger picture.  My relationship with God is not lineal, nor are his graces and blessings and answered prayers.  Yet I get stuck on a situation or I continue pounding on a closed door because I've limited how I want to receive God's answer.  

Did I miss the apocalypse?

Once again, I'm drawn back to reflect on life, especially in our current setting.  This extreme change in our social behavior feels unreal, as if I woke up in totally different world than the one before.  I didn't realize just how many things I've taken for granted, both big and small.  And maybe even more telling are the things that are no longer available that I didn't value when they were.

It's tempting to panic.  It's tempting to deny.  It's tempting to complain and moan and despair.  But I choose something more.  Something better.  I choose hope.  Because, let's face it, who likes to talk to a pessimist?  So why would I want to live that way?

Roma - Day 1

Monday, March 19, 2018 - continued - Rome

We started right away with our first stop, one of the 4 major bascilicas in Rome:  Basilica San Paolo or the Bascilica of St. Paul Outside the Walls.  I had forgotten some of the details and learned a few more.  For example, there are images of every Pope along the top of the ceiling.  It was very powerful to realize how many successors to St. Peter there have been.  There is a special area to pray in front of the tomb of St. Paul, and we happened to be there when a cardinal was celebrating Mass, so we heard beautiful music from a choir as we prayed. 

This was also where we were able to celebrate Mass in a side chapel.  Due to construction and/or other  groups, we used the altar in the baptistery of the church for our Mass.  It was an incredibly intimate space and it was powerful to contemplate the beginning of our pilgrimage on the Feast of St. Joseph.  The reflection for the day in our prayer booklets reminded us that St. Joseph is a great example of submission to the Will of God.  St. Joseph had a plan to wed Mary, but after she was pregnant, his plans changed as he intended to separate from her, though doing it quietly.  God took  St. Joseph's plans and revealed an even greater plan for his life - foster-father to the Son of God.  We can learn from St. Joseph how to submit ourselves to God's Will, which goes beyond our wildest imaginings.

After that, we bussed to our hotel, checked in and started exploring Rome.  Grabbed some pizza (potato pizza is a new one for me!) and did some shopping.  Then we trekked to St. Philip Neri (Santa Maria or Chiesa Nuova) and St. Ignatius of Loyla (Santa Ignazio) Churches.  Both churches are incredibly beautiful with lots of decoration, side altars, and amazing art.  

We walked back to our hotel, across the Tiber River, past the Castel San Angelo, through St. Peter's Square.  Dinner was a wonderful affair with several delicious courses and lots of laughs.  The foccacia was especially delicious :-).  Delirium began to set in (at least for me) and it was back to the hotel, shower and bed.  What a day!

More pictures will be added after they have been somewhat curated!

Another adventure

**Date discrepancy explanation below.

Sunday, March 18, 2018 - Omaha, Chicago, Philadelphia

It's the fifth Sunday of Lent.  We are entering the final stretch, the downhill slope, the end game . . . you get the picture.  Maybe your Lent has been a wonderful experience, or perhaps it's been less than stellar.  Either way, it's not too late to end well.

For me, I get a major boost in the form of a pilgrimage to Rome.  I am grateful that I have the opportunity to return to such a wonderful place, especially during Lent.

Whether you will spend this week at home or abroad, make a choice to live intentionally and finish the race.

"I have competed well; I have finished the race; I have kept the faith."  ~2 Timothy 4:7

**this was originally created on March 18, 2018, but wi-fi issues prevented me from uploading in a timely fashion.

So, Sunday was basically a long day in the airport or in a plane.  3 legs later . . . 

Monday, March 19, 2018 - Rome

Wow - I don't remember my previous international flights being so sleepless.  We flew out of Philadelphia around 6:30 p.m. Sunday evening, and arrived in Rome around 7:30 a.m. Monday morning.  No, the flight wasn't 11 hours, but with the time change, we start our day feeling 6 hours behind.  So, we arrived with the mindset of beginning our first, very full, day in Rome, yet our bodies were still craving sleep since it was only about 2 a.m.  Sunshine is our friend, except it was in short supply when we arrived.  Rain, rain, rain.  And when it rains in Rome, things get a little crazy, especially traffic.  No big deal - we arrived with no issues, luggage in hand, and we were ready for the adventure.

You might be wondering who all journeyed on this pilgrimage; it was a collaboration between UNK & UNO Newman Centers for a pilgrimage over spring break.  I was lucky enough to tag along!  We had 2 priests and 16 pilgrims.  

The arrival process was similar to my previous trip, but it was interesting to recognize a few changes or modifications.  My last trip we took the train from the airport; this time we were driven in on a bus.  Again, it was awesome to just sit and enjoy the scenery; after all, we were in Rome!!!

A New Normal - A New Lent

Three days before Ash Wednesday 2017, there was a change that happened. It came without fanfare, without pomp and circumstance.  It would forever impact my life, my family, and my heart, but it was disguised as ordinary life.  On that day, February 26, 2017, Mom was admitted to the hospital, never to return home.  While this moment was unexpected and alarming, I did not anticipate the path we were on, and where it would lead.  Life became Lent, and Lent became my life, although I wouldn't truly recognize this until much later.    

Thankful Thursday 3/3/16 - The Unexpected

"I can do all things through Him who strengthens me."  Philippians 4:13

So, my Thursday started like any other day.  Lots to do at work.  Go to Mass.  Stop to visit my parents.  Eat supper with them.  Fracture my foot on my way out the door.  The usual routine.  Wait . . . . What???  

Well, I took the 2nd last step as if I were on the bottom step, and down I went.  The irony is, we worry about my parents tripping and falling, and I"m the one who fell!  Oops.  The doctor says I'm in the boot for now and he wants to see me in 10 days.  

Well, that certainly wasn't part of MY plan.  I just attended a healing Mass the night BEFORE!  Rotten timing.  Just another reminder that I'm not in charge :-)!

I'll admit, I have a history of crazy foot injuries.  Well, only 2, but they are unique.  The time I stepped on a pork chop bone when I was a kid (this is when you gave food bones to your dogs on the farm and they left them all over) and it punctured my shoe and foot and I had to get a tetanus shot.  Or the time I sprained both of my ankles at once when I was first out of college, living by myself (I blame my platform shoes).  Stairs were especially challenging.  Talk about being immobile!  

Sacred Silence

Are you listening? Can you hear Jesus calling? If not, you might want to take a minute or ten to quiet yourself and listen for His gentle voice.

That's exactly what I got to do tonight. We had a healing Mass - an opportunity to bring our pain, sufferings, challenges, fears, and give it all to God.

It's not as easy as it sounds, but it's worth the effort to try.

The setting: a darkened church, with votive lights flickering. Soft music playing. Jesus, exposed in the monstrance, beckoning us closer.

And so it goes . . .

Church of the Transfiguration - Israel

Life has been rather surprising the past 6 weeks.  When I started writing my Christmas letter for 2015, my focus was on my pilgrimage to the Holy Land, as most everything else in my life was the same . . . At least at that moment in time.

Advent 2015 began much the same as previous years - focus on preparation, worrying about getting things done, and trying to remember the real reason we celebrate Christmas.  There were Christmas parties to plan, and reconciliation service to attend.  It was especially memorable to think that I was preparing for my pilgrimage to the Holy Land just one short year ago.  I felt a new connection to Mary and Joseph and their journey to Bethlehem.  

The week of Christmas was when life took an unexpected turn.  A casual inquiry about a job quickly became an interesting dilemma.  I wasn't looking, and it showed up.  Lots of prayer and thinking happened over the next days.  It quickly became obvious that this could be a huge opportunity for me, which was both scary and exciting.  Despite the fear of change, I felt called to this move.  This was the opportunity to focus on my passion and dream - a full-time job with a basis in my Catholic faith.

A new view of Palm Sunday - Part 5 - Easter!

Continued from Part 4.  I know that the reading of the Passion ends with Jesus being laid in the tomb.  Thankfully, that is not where our salvation story ends.  Indeed, it is because of the suffering and death of Jesus that we can celebrate in Our Savior's Resurrection.  Yesterday, we experienced the silence of the tomb.  Today, we are called to celebrate in the Eternal Life of God.  Alleluia!  Alleluia!

A new view of Palm Sunday - Part 4

First view of the dome of the Church of the

Holy Sepulchure

Continued from Part 3.

Calvary.  I don't know what I expected, exactly.  A desolate mountain or a lonely hill.  Something separated from reality, I guess.  The Church of the Holy Sepulchure contains both the locations of Jesus' death on the cross and His Resurrection.  I had not realized how closely situated these places really are.

A new view of Palm Sunday - Part 3

Continued from Part 2.

Branch from a thorn plant, similar to which would have
been used for Jesus' crown of thorns.  Ouch!

I have never enjoyed playing the part of the Crowd when we read the Passion of Our Lord.  "Crucify Him, Crucify Him!"  I don't want those words to come out of my mouth.  Yet, how easily I forget.  When I gossip or make a hurtful comment, I am crucifying Jesus.  When I desire something that isn't mine or I act with greed, I am nailing Him to the cross.  If only I could wrap my brain around the idea that my actions are screaming, "Crucify Him!" when I choose sin.

Thankful Thursday - Holy Thursday 2015

Beauty. Liturgy. Song. Prayer.

Mass of the Lord's Supper.

So many thoughts, so many joys and sorrows.  Words are inadequate to describe the power of the experience.  From the washing of the feet, to the Eucharist, the richness of Scripture and Tradition was repeated.  "Do this in remembrance of me." 1 Corinthians 11. "....that as I have done for you, you should also do." John 13.  What power is present when we fully enter into these Sacred Mysteries.  Are we even able to fully comprehend the boundless depths of God's love for us?  In sharing of ourselves and opening our hearts to God, we catch a mere glimpse of the joy of Heaven.  And from my glimpse tonight, it is a beautiful thing.  

A new view of Palm Sunday - Part 2

Statue of Jesus

Continued from A New View of Palm Sunday

Until my pilgrimage to the Holy Land, I never thought about the time frame of events surround Jesus' Passion.  After celebrating the First Eucharist, going to the garden, Jesus' was arrest and awaited both religious and civil trials.  What about the time in between?  We saw a cistern that was likely used to hold prisoners and enemies of the chief priests and elders.  There were cave areas that appeared to be cells and torture chambers.  Being in that space, it was easy to image how bleak and desolate it would have been.  The feelings of abandonment and fear were readily present.  

A new view of Palm Sunday

On Palm Sunday Road

It's been 77 days since I began my journey to the Holy Land.  In some ways, it seems like it's been ages since I went.  But I usually get a little nudge from Scripture that takes me back there.  With Palm Sunday's Gospel of Jesus' Passion, I got a great big wallop!  The scene begins with Jesus entering Jerusalem on a colt.  This would have been on the road, now called Palm Sunday road.  I remember when we walked it, long and winding.  It appears much different today, paved and narrow, with walls and fences.  Our guide described the likely scene with Jesus and the crowds and the branches.  I understand why we use palms - there are lots of palm trees in Israel!  It makes sense :)

View from Palm Sunday Road

Thankful Thursday, Friday, and Saturday - March 27-29, 2015

POP Rocks :)

I haven't been as good about recording my thankfulness as I would like.  So here's a mega-thankful post that covers the recent experiences I've had.  

-Bananas 2015 - I had the privilege of playing a small part with the music for this event.  As usual, I have received much more than I gave.  To be on the stage with all of the students who were there to Go Bananas for Jesus - wow!  The power in the gym was incredible (and the music wasn't half bad either!).  I love music, and I especially enjoy when I can play music that I love.  Our songs and musicians and audience made Friday night electric.  

Lenten Struggle

Lent has been difficult for me this year.  I know; it's supposed to be a challenge.  However, I feel that I'm experiencing more than the 'usual' struggles.  Maybe it's because I'm looking at life differently since my pilgrimage to the Holy Land.  Maybe I'm being tempted more and unable to resist.  Maybe God is giving me the opportunity to wholly rely on Him, and it scares me. 

Regardless, my human nature complains.  'Why this?  Why me?  Why?'  There are no easy answers.  I do not know God's mind, but I do believe in God's plan, even when it's hidden or obscure.  It seems as though God is permitting numerous obstacles so as to deepen my faith.  I'm certainly not to the level of Job, but I have been contemplating his life in the face of trials.  He was desolate and devastated, yet he still praised God:  "The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord." ~Job 1:21b

5th Sunday of Lent

http://usccb.org/bible/readings/040614.cfm 

Quick recap:

1st Reading - Ezekiel - I will open your graves

Psalm - With the Lord there is mercy and fullness of redemption

Epistle - Romans - If the Spirit of the Lord lives in us, we will not die

Gospel - John - death of Lazarus

Loss is painful. When we lose a loved one, family or friend, our world changes. Our grief can be overwhelming. Jesus has experienced loss, the death of his dear friend, Lazarus. I think one of the most powerful verses, as well as the shortest, is in this Gospel, "Jesus wept." Weeping is not an expression of a small sadness, it is a gut-wrenching emotion that can swallow us whole. What comfort can we take in the fact that Our Savior knows our grief? We are not alone. As we suffer, Jesus is with us, even in our weeping.

Best of all, death is not the end. As we prepare to celebrate the holiest of weeks, we are reminded that Jesus has conquered death. We proclaim a belief in life after death. We will be reunited with all of our beloved dead.

Brokenness

Lent is a great time to slow down and consider what we truly believe.  I attended a reconciliation service, and as we entered the church, we were given a piece of a tree branch (pictured below).  We were told that the branch came from the tree branch in the sanctuary.  The piece was to remind us that in our sinfulness we are broken, and our brokenness affects those around us.  But together, all of our pieces unite as the Body of Christ.  

Father commented that he wouldn't make us find the pieces that fit on either side of our piece, but that got me thinking.

Thankful Thursday 3/27/14

I am thankful for Lenten devotionals.  I'm not always the most faithful about reading them, but when I do, my soul is always nourished.  I'm especially enjoying the Little Black Book (link here) this year.  It walks through the Passion according to Matthew, and asks some tough questions.  If I stop and honestly answer, I learn something about myself and my journey.  Worth the time, for sure.

Side note - the little books are made for Easter, Advent, and a few other times, so check them out.  I also, quite happily, just discovered that they can be purchased in electronic format as well!  Yay!

Prayer - Lord, thank you for the wonderful resources in my life that can guide me when I'm lost.  Help me to take advantage of only the best books, magazines, and websites so that I may continue to journey closer and closer to You.

The Spirit is leading me . . . into Daylight Savings Time?

Today, I heard the following idea.  Jesus gets the concept of Daylight Savings time; after all, He was in the desert without any way to tell time.  And today, everyone is fighting the clocks, trying to adjust to a 'new' time.  I think it's interesting that today's Gospel (see readings & reflection here) falls on the day we move our clocks.  It's a hassle, it messes our schedules up, it confuses things, and generally makes people cranky.  Or maybe it's just me.  Either way, it got me to thinking:  Maybe the we need to take a page out of the Gospel and let the Spirit lead us into a place (gasp) without clocks!