How are you?

Recently, someone asked me how I was.  Before I could even think, I automatically replied, "Fine."  I paused for a nano-second, and then clarified.  "Actually, I'm stressed out about xyz, but everything else is fine."  I'm not exactly sure what compelled my revision of the socially expected response.  We are seemingly programmed to respond, "Fine," whether it is true or not.  Maybe because we don't want to reveal problems and insecurities, or maybe because the person asking isn't interested in an answer with more than one syllable.  It is interesting to ponder.

How are you?

Fine.  

Then we turn around and continue the cycle by asking the same question, expecting the same answer.  "And how are you?"  "Fine."  Our interactions remain superficial.  Or at least, generic.  After all, it is possible that your one-syllable response is an accurate depiction of life.  Fine can cover a lot of positives, even if it gets overused.  Perhaps we are hesitant to both ask more and to answer more than the minimum.  In our insular worlds of status updates and 160 character limitations, brevity is king and a happy face is less complicated, if not always true.

I've started changing my choice of response to, "I'm well!"  Yes, I know I'm just using another 4-letter word of generic proportions, but the distinction reminds me of a few key points.  I think of the phrase/song It Is Well With My Soul.  Even in the midst of struggles, confusion and pain, I want to be at peace.  I may not have complete understanding or acceptance of a given situation, but I have faith in God.  And thus:

What you think, you become. What you feel, you attract. What you imagine, you create.

Maybe this sounds like silly subliminal messaging, but I can attest that it has helped reshape my thoughts to reflect an inner calm.  In Ecclesiastes, we are reminded that there is an ebb and flow to life; much is outside of our control.  Yet, if we cling to the knowledge of God's sovereignty, there can be peace in the midst of chaos and hope in the midst of sadness.

There is an appointed time for everything,
    and a time for every affair under the heavens.
2 A time to give birth, and a time to die;
    a time to plant, and a time to uproot the plant.
3 A time to kill, and a time to heal;
    a time to tear down, and a time to build.
4 A time to weep, and a time to laugh;
    a time to mourn, and a time to dance.
5 A time to scatter stones, and a time to gather them;
    a time to embrace, and a time to be far from embraces.
6 A time to seek, and a time to lose;
    a time to keep, and a time to cast away.
7 A time to rend, and a time to sew;
    a time to be silent, and a time to speak.
8 A time to love, and a time to hate;
    a time of war, and a time of peace. ~Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 (NABRE)

I admit, it was hard to change my automatic response to something more thoughtful and thought-filled.  My desire to live an intentional and genuine life helped fuel my efforts to re-train my brain.  I want to live as a child of God, secure in the only guaranteed constant in life.

"In this you rejoice, although now for a little while you may have to suffer through various trials, so that the genuineness of your faith, more precious than gold that is perishable even though tested by fire, may prove to be for praise, glory, and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ." ~1 Peter 1:6-7

That means that regardless of the chaos in the world, or of any difficulty I am currently experiencing, I can choose the peace of Christ.  This choice encourages me to remain in Christ, reminds me of God's sovereign plan (which is trustworthy), and becomes my lived reality (despite any obstacles I am or will face).