Did I miss the apocalypse?

Once again, I'm drawn back to reflect on life, especially in our current setting.  This extreme change in our social behavior feels unreal, as if I woke up in totally different world than the one before.  I didn't realize just how many things I've taken for granted, both big and small.  And maybe even more telling are the things that are no longer available that I didn't value when they were.

It's tempting to panic.  It's tempting to deny.  It's tempting to complain and moan and despair.  But I choose something more.  Something better.  I choose hope.  Because, let's face it, who likes to talk to a pessimist?  So why would I want to live that way?

The lost is found

"Pray to St. Anthony," I assert.  "He knows where it is."

I regularly call on St. Anthony for help.  You might say I have him on speed prayer :-)  I used to think that it was rude to 'bother' St. Anthony for inconsequential things.  Just because I can't find my 3-hole punch, doesn't mean I need to inconvenience anyone, especially not a saint! 

Now, I view my frequent requests as part of my relationship to the saints.  The more I converse with them (please note, this is not to be confused with talking to myself!), the more I am in tune with them.  Just like a close friend, the more we talk, the stronger our relationship becomes.  We begin to emulate each other (which is why you need to pick good friends!).  Who would be a better friend and model than a saint?! 

I admit that in the beginning, my requests really felt superstitious.  Like knocking on wood to prevent something from happening (I mean, really?!).  But the more I converse with St. Anthony and the saints, the more I am open to grace, such as patience.  It's frustrating when you can't find something you need, but I trust in God's timing.  And just like talking to a friend about a complicated situation, you feel better for sharing the burden, even if nothing has changed.  Now, when I pray to St. Anthony, I trust that he knows what I need, even if it's not what I ask and especially when it's not in the time frame I want.

Try it sometime, and then try it again.  And again.  And again.  Do you see a pattern here? :-)  With time, it will feel less 'fake' and more peaceful.  There is such a freedom in knowing that St. Anthony knows where the item is.  I don't get all worked up (most of the time) because the item is known to St. Anthony, and just like I trust my friends to help me out when they can, I trust him.

A Return to the Ordinary

I've been pondering lately what it means to live the liturgical season.  I've found some amazing
resources, inspirations, and overall felt a greater awareness of the importance and wisdom in the seasons in our church.  I'm usually one who drags my feet when it comes to putting away decorations and taking down my Christmas tree.  I absolutely love the glow of Christmas lights, especially when entering an otherwise dark house.  It's inviting and warm and evokes feelings of happiness and joy.  That's not to say that there is any magic that emanates from these bright globes, they will glow whether I've had a good or bad day, whether it snowed one inch or ten.  But like Pavlov's dog, I seem to have conditioned myself to find, see and welcome joy into my life more quickly when the tree is lit.  I also love the parallel that as we approach the shortest day of the year, we enjoy our lights while we crave and seek the true Light - Jesus Christ.

Christ Be Our Light

Advent is upon us, and we have less than one week before Christmas!  While I'm spiritually preparing for Christmas, my social obligations and gifts are a different story.  I don't feel prepared.  I don't have cards written; my decorations are missing - you might wonder why I've embraced the minimalist approach to Christmas decor and not my desk!  On one hand, I'm not interested in skipping over Advent just because it's socially acceptable to do.  This really awesome video does an excellent summary of Advent.

My favorite part?

Behavior Modification

A snapshot into my life right now would reveal that I am doing the following (among other things):

• Learning Spanish
• Attending Financial Peace University
• Reading Perfectly Yourself 
• Studying Resisting Happiness in a small group
• Singing with 20 ladies
• Working a second job
• Keeping a holy hour at church

These activities are different and varied, but they all have 2 things in common.  They take time, and they require a change in my behavior.  Behavior modification.  That sounds painful, doesn't it?  When I hear those words, I picture an iron gate clanging shut, as if I were locked up or imprisoned.  It can evoke images of difficulty or rigidity. But if I want to participate in and succeed at these activities, I must embrace (or at least work on) behavior modification.  For instance:

• I must do my homework, rather than watch TV.
• I need to create and follow a budget, rather than wonder where my money goes.
• I have to make time to read the books that will make me a better person and help me achieve my goal of Heaven.  This also means taking time to reflect and be silent.
• I have to commit to practicing and being present at rehearsals and performances.
• I will be consistent in responding to the duties of my job, instead of waiting until the last minute and hoping things get done.
• I desire to improve my prayer life and act counter-culturally, spending time in prayer and listening to God.  

All of these actions take time and require me to do more (sometimes much more) than the minimum.  I admit, it's a lot easier to come home, plop in front of the TV (or Amazon Prime, in my case), and browse the internet or waste time on electronic devices while mindlessly snacking.  An occasional 'veg-out' time is acceptable, but a regular routine such as this leads to dissatisfaction, apathy and stagnation.