With Lifted Hands

I'm a big fan of to-do lists.  I like LOVE the satisfaction of crossing something off or completing it and moving on to the next item.  While I may have way too many lists, they help motivate me, keep me accountable, and not forget something in the busy-ness of life.  In other words, they give me a sense of control.  And, if I'm honest, my to-do list is one of the few things in my life which I can control.  Whether it's big things or small, there's a lot that just is what it is, and we have to deal with the good, bad and ugly every day.  

But today, I had an insight about my relationship with God and my attempts to control that as well!  Thankfully, I don't have to achieve a certain status or perfection in my life to be in a relationship with God, but I do like to bring my lists to God.  That's not a bad thing at all, but I tend to present them in the following mindset, "Okay God, here's where I'm struggling, and this is the healing I'm praying for, and I'm lifting up XYZ."  Sounds a lot like my to-do lists.  But prayer, and especially a relationship with God, is not lived out in a checklist of to-dos.  Moving through my prayer requests doesn't get me to the next level or earn me a gold star.  When I think I'm being efficient and organized, I'm actually missing the bigger picture.  My relationship with God is not lineal, nor are his graces and blessings and answered prayers.  Yet I get stuck on a situation or I continue pounding on a closed door because I've limited how I want to receive God's answer.  

Did I miss the apocalypse?

Once again, I'm drawn back to reflect on life, especially in our current setting.  This extreme change in our social behavior feels unreal, as if I woke up in totally different world than the one before.  I didn't realize just how many things I've taken for granted, both big and small.  And maybe even more telling are the things that are no longer available that I didn't value when they were.

It's tempting to panic.  It's tempting to deny.  It's tempting to complain and moan and despair.  But I choose something more.  Something better.  I choose hope.  Because, let's face it, who likes to talk to a pessimist?  So why would I want to live that way?

The lost is found

"Pray to St. Anthony," I assert.  "He knows where it is."

I regularly call on St. Anthony for help.  You might say I have him on speed prayer :-)  I used to think that it was rude to 'bother' St. Anthony for inconsequential things.  Just because I can't find my 3-hole punch, doesn't mean I need to inconvenience anyone, especially not a saint! 

Now, I view my frequent requests as part of my relationship to the saints.  The more I converse with them (please note, this is not to be confused with talking to myself!), the more I am in tune with them.  Just like a close friend, the more we talk, the stronger our relationship becomes.  We begin to emulate each other (which is why you need to pick good friends!).  Who would be a better friend and model than a saint?! 

I admit that in the beginning, my requests really felt superstitious.  Like knocking on wood to prevent something from happening (I mean, really?!).  But the more I converse with St. Anthony and the saints, the more I am open to grace, such as patience.  It's frustrating when you can't find something you need, but I trust in God's timing.  And just like talking to a friend about a complicated situation, you feel better for sharing the burden, even if nothing has changed.  Now, when I pray to St. Anthony, I trust that he knows what I need, even if it's not what I ask and especially when it's not in the time frame I want.

Try it sometime, and then try it again.  And again.  And again.  Do you see a pattern here? :-)  With time, it will feel less 'fake' and more peaceful.  There is such a freedom in knowing that St. Anthony knows where the item is.  I don't get all worked up (most of the time) because the item is known to St. Anthony, and just like I trust my friends to help me out when they can, I trust him.

A Return to the Ordinary

I've been pondering lately what it means to live the liturgical season.  I've found some amazing
resources, inspirations, and overall felt a greater awareness of the importance and wisdom in the seasons in our church.  I'm usually one who drags my feet when it comes to putting away decorations and taking down my Christmas tree.  I absolutely love the glow of Christmas lights, especially when entering an otherwise dark house.  It's inviting and warm and evokes feelings of happiness and joy.  That's not to say that there is any magic that emanates from these bright globes, they will glow whether I've had a good or bad day, whether it snowed one inch or ten.  But like Pavlov's dog, I seem to have conditioned myself to find, see and welcome joy into my life more quickly when the tree is lit.  I also love the parallel that as we approach the shortest day of the year, we enjoy our lights while we crave and seek the true Light - Jesus Christ.

Christ Be Our Light

Advent is upon us, and we have less than one week before Christmas!  While I'm spiritually preparing for Christmas, my social obligations and gifts are a different story.  I don't feel prepared.  I don't have cards written; my decorations are missing - you might wonder why I've embraced the minimalist approach to Christmas decor and not my desk!  On one hand, I'm not interested in skipping over Advent just because it's socially acceptable to do.  This really awesome video does an excellent summary of Advent.

My favorite part?