Ash Wednesday 2010

Today was a great day. I didn't eat between meals, I abstained from meat, I read my prayer books when I got up, I spent a lot less time on the computer, I prayed the rosary, I did chores around the house, and I went to church twice. I know - you're thinking, 'How is that a good day?' It just was. I'm guessing (prepare for sarcasm) that my God-focus helped.

Duh!

What, you might ask, is God-focus? Well, it occurred to me, that usually people say, "I spent time with God," or "I visited church and said a prayer." Both are good practices, but you get an entirely different meaning if you change the grammatical layout. Now - "My time is/was God's," or "I stopped what I was doing to visit with God" puts the emphasis and priority where it really belongs. God is with us 24/7 - there's no avoiding God! Therefore, 'spending time with God' sounds like a practice of us fitting God into our schedules, instead of acknowledging that we are created by God and for God's purpose. God is always present, whether we choose to notice or not. Thus, all we have (including our precious time), is a gift from God, not something we can earn or even deserve. 'Making a visit' goes from an attempt to keep God in a neat box (called a church) that we can conveniently visit when we have time, to us using each task, job, frustration, joy, suffering, and happiness as an opportunity to remind ourselves of our Creator who loves us more than we could ever know.

The other thing I realized about today: all of those good and productive things that I accomplished today are things that on most other days I fail at, especially if I'm faced with any obstacle or diversion (even of my own creation!). So why was I successful today? This time I wasn't doing it for my own desires, nor was I doing it alone. I had a greater purpose and goal, which I was able to achieve through God's grace. It may not sound like an amazing discovery, but for today, it was another piece of God's puzzle in my life that I pieced together and went 'A-ha!' I have no doubt that I will forget what I've learned, and yet again try the hard way. Luckily, I know God is a forgiving and loving God who wants me to succeed, even if I prove to be a very slow learner.