Today I am thankful for (in no particular order):
-dear friends, both near and far
-spiritual direction and guidance
-a renewed joy in music and writing
-my faith
-family - in all stages and wellness levels!
There are so many distractions and such potential for living a negative life. This is not what I want. I choose (most of the time) to look for the good. I want to develop the 'attitude of gratitude'. Join me, won't you? :-)
Thursday, August 07, 2014
Wednesday, August 06, 2014
Still sinking in
I had a brief conversation on death and dying today. We were talking about my Dad and his health, and I made the remark, "Why do our bodies have to deteriorate?" I got the response, "Because we are only meant to be here for a short time, and some even shorter than others." How true that is. We are not meant for this world. This is our boarding call, preparation for the biggest trip we're ever going to take. Some get on sooner, some have to be carried on, and most leave before we are ready to let go.
My sister and I were talking tonight, and she reminded me of a comment Dad once made. He said, "Sorrow is the result of a change for which you were not prepared." I was not prepared to say goodbye to my dad in this life last weekend. I'm not sure that I will ever really be prepared for that. However, I feel that our recent experience and brush with death has brought this reality closer.
Things are still sinking in for me, and I have been spending a great deal of time pondering all of it. Life, death, suffering, meaning, purpose. Heavy stuff. Interesting stuff. Life-altering stuff. But what really brought it home for me is the realization that my favorite guy to chat with, the one I could call any time - to keep me awake while I'm driving or keep me motivated when working through my to-do list - isn't always going to be there to answer my call. That's going to be tough. I'm not trying to take on tomorrow's burden today, but I realized that it is a change for which I am not prepared. Like Dad said, a sorrow.
What is life? Constant change. So, in some ways, that seems to equate with constant sorrow, right? I disagree. There are moments of emotion, sadness, and realization that so many things are beyond my control, but there are also opportunities for growth, embracing change, and trust. I may not be able to prepare for every change (thus avoiding sorrow), but I can cling to something solid while the change swirls around me. Faith is the answer. Not always easy, and not a fix-it cure, but a deep-down knowledge that despite the chaos that exists, faith trumps sorrow.
One day at a time. Still sinking in.
"And now these three remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love." ~1 Corinthians 13:13
My sister and I were talking tonight, and she reminded me of a comment Dad once made. He said, "Sorrow is the result of a change for which you were not prepared." I was not prepared to say goodbye to my dad in this life last weekend. I'm not sure that I will ever really be prepared for that. However, I feel that our recent experience and brush with death has brought this reality closer.
Things are still sinking in for me, and I have been spending a great deal of time pondering all of it. Life, death, suffering, meaning, purpose. Heavy stuff. Interesting stuff. Life-altering stuff. But what really brought it home for me is the realization that my favorite guy to chat with, the one I could call any time - to keep me awake while I'm driving or keep me motivated when working through my to-do list - isn't always going to be there to answer my call. That's going to be tough. I'm not trying to take on tomorrow's burden today, but I realized that it is a change for which I am not prepared. Like Dad said, a sorrow.
What is life? Constant change. So, in some ways, that seems to equate with constant sorrow, right? I disagree. There are moments of emotion, sadness, and realization that so many things are beyond my control, but there are also opportunities for growth, embracing change, and trust. I may not be able to prepare for every change (thus avoiding sorrow), but I can cling to something solid while the change swirls around me. Faith is the answer. Not always easy, and not a fix-it cure, but a deep-down knowledge that despite the chaos that exists, faith trumps sorrow.
One day at a time. Still sinking in.
"And now these three remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love." ~1 Corinthians 13:13
Tuesday, August 05, 2014
A grateful heart
There are so many blessings in my life right now. Even with the stress and fear that the uncertainty of a loved one's health, I am blessed. It overwhelms me. I'm listening to my current playlist called 'Meditation' and I am remembering my blessings. A wonderful evening spent with a kindred soul, a quick text from a friend, a letter in the mail, looking at the smiling face of my goddaughter; all of these things are pieces of my life, things that feed my soul. What have I done to earn this? Nothing. If that's true, then how can I keep these things from slipping away? I can't. But I have faith in God, and comfort in the knowledge that God is certain, even if nothing else makes sense.
I pick up lots of interesting pieces of information and quotes that catch my attention. I came across this gem again, and it fit so well with my current thoughts, I wanted to share it here:
Prayer - Lord, I am so easily overwhelmed in my life that I lose focus on You. Help me to see with the eyes of my heart and to know the beauty that exists even in the midst of sadness and pain. You are my constant.
I pick up lots of interesting pieces of information and quotes that catch my attention. I came across this gem again, and it fit so well with my current thoughts, I wanted to share it here:
"Being grateful makes us happy! Not the other way around, we are not necessary grateful when we become happy, however a grateful heart becomes happy without fail! Find something to be grateful about in every moment, I guarantee you, you will know happiness in every moment. You don't have to be grateful for the bad situations, but in every situation, you can chose to find something to be grateful about, to focus on the good, to count your blessings, there is always! Look at the sun, the moon, the stars, how beautiful and how blessed we are have them at our service!!!" ~ImmaculeeI had the privilege of hearing Immaculee speak at an event last year. Her story is inspirational and amazing. I highly recommend her books, especially "Left to Tell". I want to be a person with a grateful heart. I want to radiate that love and joy in my life.
Prayer - Lord, I am so easily overwhelmed in my life that I lose focus on You. Help me to see with the eyes of my heart and to know the beauty that exists even in the midst of sadness and pain. You are my constant.
Love never fails
One of my latest favorites: Love Never Fails
How important love really is - not the fantasy love that is really self-serving. Not the romanticized love of the movies, or the way we claim to 'love' a product. The deep love that gives more than is humanly possible because we realize that love truly comes from God. God loved us first, so we can be love to others.
How important love really is - not the fantasy love that is really self-serving. Not the romanticized love of the movies, or the way we claim to 'love' a product. The deep love that gives more than is humanly possible because we realize that love truly comes from God. God loved us first, so we can be love to others.
13 If I speak in the tongues[a] of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast,[b] but do not have love, I gain nothing.
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. 11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. 12 For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. (courtesy of BibleGateway )
Sunday, August 03, 2014
One day at a time
I've just returned from a scary trip. No haunted houses or dangerous roads. Something much more personal and challenging - the uncertain health of a loved one. In this case it was my dad. He is 87 1/2 years old now, and his appendix ruptured last week. Unfortunately, it wasn't caught until Friday, when he had unbearable pain and finally asked to go to the doctor. Talk about tough (ahem, stubborn) farmers. They thought they were operating to remove his appendix, but after going in, they learned that it had already burst. Dad was a lifelong smoker, and I remember begging him to quit when I was a little girl. All of those years of damage have taken their toll, and he is on oxygen full-time. So, add some COPD lungs to a ruptured appendix, and you have a medical situation that would be a challenge for a healthy young adult, let alone my tenacious father.
The surgeon suggested that family be called, because things looked pretty serious. Siblings arrived as soon as they could and everyone wondered if the worst might become reality. Talk about tiring. I continued my plea for prayers and begged God for a miracle. Saturday morning brought some progress. We were still very cautious, because anything could happen. My sleepless night caught up and I desperately needed some rest. Mom and I took a break while some of my other siblings stayed at the hospital. We continued our waiting, seeming to hold our breath for 'the other shoe' to drop. Dad was moved out of ICU, which was amazing.
Sunday had even more positive moments. The surgeon was amazed by Dad's progress, and I couldn't hold back my tears when I shared the news via text and phone. As one friend stated, he may not be out of the woods yet, but we are definitely witnessing the power of prayer. Exhausted, emotionally worn out, and still in shock was my day. I trekked back to my home that evening after attending Mass, and I pondered all that had transpired.
On Friday, before things had progressed to a concerning stage, I had already requested prayers from a few folks. As the situation became more grave, I doubled my efforts. I was surprised by the response. I find it interesting that my first action was asking for prayers for my Dad, but yet I was surprised when my prayers were answered. "Ask and you shall receive . . . " I know prayer requests are rarely so straightforward, but here I have just witnessed an amazing change and I have to ask myself why I was ever worried. Laugh if you want, but I can't have it both ways. I can't say I trust in God's plan and then worry myself sick with what-ifs. Well, actually, I can because I am a human being. We tend to be a little backwards about these things sometimes.
This experience isn't over, and one day it will end in death. However, that death doesn't mean an end; rather it is a beginning of something bigger and better than we can imagine. As I celebrated with my fellow Catholics at Mass tonight, I was struck by the beauty of faith. Faith does not promise smooth sailing. In fact, it seems like it's the opposite. We face hardships, accidents, death, anger, hurt, and much, much more. Faith doesn't prevent these things; it gives us comfort to survive them. I think of it as the boat that carries me through the terrible storms in life. I may not be able to avoid the storms, but I will get through them. My prayer is that I will continue to remember this, not just when I am faced with challenge, but every moment of my life. God is good, all the time.
The surgeon suggested that family be called, because things looked pretty serious. Siblings arrived as soon as they could and everyone wondered if the worst might become reality. Talk about tiring. I continued my plea for prayers and begged God for a miracle. Saturday morning brought some progress. We were still very cautious, because anything could happen. My sleepless night caught up and I desperately needed some rest. Mom and I took a break while some of my other siblings stayed at the hospital. We continued our waiting, seeming to hold our breath for 'the other shoe' to drop. Dad was moved out of ICU, which was amazing.
Sunday had even more positive moments. The surgeon was amazed by Dad's progress, and I couldn't hold back my tears when I shared the news via text and phone. As one friend stated, he may not be out of the woods yet, but we are definitely witnessing the power of prayer. Exhausted, emotionally worn out, and still in shock was my day. I trekked back to my home that evening after attending Mass, and I pondered all that had transpired.
On Friday, before things had progressed to a concerning stage, I had already requested prayers from a few folks. As the situation became more grave, I doubled my efforts. I was surprised by the response. I find it interesting that my first action was asking for prayers for my Dad, but yet I was surprised when my prayers were answered. "Ask and you shall receive . . . " I know prayer requests are rarely so straightforward, but here I have just witnessed an amazing change and I have to ask myself why I was ever worried. Laugh if you want, but I can't have it both ways. I can't say I trust in God's plan and then worry myself sick with what-ifs. Well, actually, I can because I am a human being. We tend to be a little backwards about these things sometimes.
This experience isn't over, and one day it will end in death. However, that death doesn't mean an end; rather it is a beginning of something bigger and better than we can imagine. As I celebrated with my fellow Catholics at Mass tonight, I was struck by the beauty of faith. Faith does not promise smooth sailing. In fact, it seems like it's the opposite. We face hardships, accidents, death, anger, hurt, and much, much more. Faith doesn't prevent these things; it gives us comfort to survive them. I think of it as the boat that carries me through the terrible storms in life. I may not be able to avoid the storms, but I will get through them. My prayer is that I will continue to remember this, not just when I am faced with challenge, but every moment of my life. God is good, all the time.
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