Still sinking in

I had a brief conversation on death and dying today.  We were talking about my Dad and his health, and I made the remark, "Why do our bodies have to deteriorate?"  I got the response, "Because we are only meant to be here for a short time, and some even shorter than others."  How true that is.  We are not meant for this world.  This is our boarding call, preparation for the biggest trip we're ever going to take.  Some get on sooner, some have to be carried on, and most leave before we are ready to let go.

My sister and I were talking tonight, and she reminded me of a comment Dad once made.  He said, "Sorrow is the result of a change for which you were not prepared."  I was not prepared to say goodbye to my dad in this life last weekend.  I'm not sure that I will ever really be prepared for that.  However, I feel that our recent experience and brush with death has brought this reality closer.

Things are still sinking in for me, and I have been spending a great deal of time pondering all of it.  Life, death, suffering, meaning, purpose.  Heavy stuff.  Interesting stuff.  Life-altering stuff.  But what really brought it home for me is the realization that my favorite guy to chat with, the one I could call any time - to keep me awake while I'm driving or keep me motivated when working through my to-do list - isn't always going to be there to answer my call.  That's going to be tough.  I'm not trying to take on tomorrow's burden today, but I realized that it is a change for which I am not prepared.  Like Dad said, a sorrow.

What is life?  Constant change.  So, in some ways, that seems to equate with constant sorrow, right?  I disagree.  There are moments of emotion, sadness, and realization that so many things are beyond my control, but there are also opportunities for growth, embracing change, and trust.  I may not be able to prepare for every change (thus avoiding sorrow), but I can cling to something solid while the change swirls around me.  Faith is the answer.  Not always easy, and not a fix-it cure, but a deep-down knowledge that despite the chaos that exists, faith trumps sorrow.

One day at a time.  Still sinking in.

"And now these three remain:  faith, hope, and love.  But the greatest of these is love."  ~1 Corinthians 13:13