Reconciliation

I'm working on my housecleaning list, and I realized I hadn't done any soul-cleaning recently.  I had a particularly rough day and I was recounting it to a friend.  I shared my appalling behavior and bad attitude and waited for her to chastise me.  I figured I deserved a talking to, because I knew better.  Instead, she laughed, and said, 'Oh honey, that's what confession is for.'  So, today, I got my butt in gear and went to seek reconciliation with God and those I hurt.

I am human, and I'm going to screw up over and over again.  That's a fact.  What is less unsure is how willing I am to profess my human-ness and sinfulness and ask for God's mercy over and over again.  It's there, and it's free, and it's mine for the asking.


I know, it can be intimidating, which is exactly why we need it.  I have been guilty of building up this rite as such a terrifying event, I wouldn't want to go.  Our minds are amazing - we will believe whatever we think is real.  Yet if I go to the core of this sacrament, I am speaking to Christ, albeit in human form.  Taken from the Catechism of the Catholic Church, Section 1548:

"In the ecclesial service of the ordained minister, it is Christ himself who is present to his Church as Head of his Body, Shepherd of his flock, high priest of the redemptive sacrifice, Teacher of Truth.  This is what the Church means by saying that the priest, by virtue of the sacrament of Holy Orders, acts in persona Christi Capitis;"

 Christ desires me, as I am, sinful and broken.  I do not have to 'fix' things before I can face God.  My honest efforts, even when they are less than successful, are what pleases God.  The priest is the human connection to Christ.

Today, for my penance, I was told to think of 5 things for which I am grateful.  Then I am to figure out how those gifts can be used to grace someone else.  So, in no particular order, here are a few things for which I am grateful:
-the gift of music - which I can use to worship and lead others in song
-the joy of writing - which helps me clear my mind and possibly offer someone a new way of thinking  
-children - their joy and innocence warms my heart and helps me slow down and enjoy the simple things
-the desire to learn - which keeps me growing and moving forward, especially in my faith
-a challenge - if you want me to get something done, just tell me how I can't possibly do it; I will try my hardest to prove you wrong.  This is a tricky one, because I can pursue something even if it shouldn't be a priority, but as a grace it allows me to jump into a situation that might seem overwhelming and just get busy.  Gotta start somewhere!

So, my challenge for this week - use those graces and gifts to improve others' lives.  I don't expect that my week will suddenly be roses and rainbows (although I do have some lovely roses in my garden, and I saw a rainbow yesterday . . . ), but I have been fortified through the sacrament of Reconciliation to get up, dust myself off, and try again.

Prayer - Lord, thank you for your mercy and grace so freely given.  Help me to open myself to You, even when I am at my lowest.  Keep nudging me to seek out healing through the sacraments.