Waiting

Wait for the Lord, take courage; be stouthearted, wait for the Lord! ~Psalm 27:14

I love to wait . . . . [said no one, ever]!

Umm, no thank you.

While there are different levels of waiting i.e. waiting for results from a medical test, waiting for news of a baby's birth, waiting for a family celebration, it can be hard to have joy when the waiting feels prolonged or without fruit.  I'm not referring to waiting for a pizza delivery or for the book you've been dying to read, either!  This is the waiting that involves soul-searching and trust in God.

How are you?

Recently, someone asked me how I was.  Before I could even think, I automatically replied, "Fine."  I paused for a nano-second, and then clarified.  "Actually, I'm stressed out about xyz, but everything else is fine."  I'm not exactly sure what compelled my revision of the socially expected response.  We are seemingly programmed to respond, "Fine," whether it is true or not.  Maybe because we don't want to reveal problems and insecurities, or maybe because the person asking isn't interested in an answer with more than one syllable.  It is interesting to ponder.

How are you?

Fine.  

The Puzzle of Life

 I cam across this quote recently, and it really resonated with me.  

If you can trust a puzzle company to make sure every piece is in the box to complete the puzzle, then why can't you trust God that every piece of your life is there for a reason?

I love puzzles, whether jigsaw or not.  I like the challenge of taking a bunch of seemingly random pieces and seeing them take shape.  I enjoy the thrill of putting in the final piece, or the joy of finally finding the right place for that stubborn piece that looked like it was in the wrong puzzle box!  I've frantically searched for missing pieces that seemingly vanished and leave the puzzle unfinished (maybe they went to the place that missing socks live?!).  I've placed pieces where I thought they fit, then discovered the piece that truly fits and had to change what I thought was complete.

What an amazing analogy for life!!!!!

With Lifted Hands

I'm a big fan of to-do lists.  I like LOVE the satisfaction of crossing something off or completing it and moving on to the next item.  While I may have way too many lists, they help motivate me, keep me accountable, and not forget something in the busy-ness of life.  In other words, they give me a sense of control.  And, if I'm honest, my to-do list is one of the few things in my life which I can control.  Whether it's big things or small, there's a lot that just is what it is, and we have to deal with the good, bad and ugly every day.  

But today, I had an insight about my relationship with God and my attempts to control that as well!  Thankfully, I don't have to achieve a certain status or perfection in my life to be in a relationship with God, but I do like to bring my lists to God.  That's not a bad thing at all, but I tend to present them in the following mindset, "Okay God, here's where I'm struggling, and this is the healing I'm praying for, and I'm lifting up XYZ."  Sounds a lot like my to-do lists.  But prayer, and especially a relationship with God, is not lived out in a checklist of to-dos.  Moving through my prayer requests doesn't get me to the next level or earn me a gold star.  When I think I'm being efficient and organized, I'm actually missing the bigger picture.  My relationship with God is not lineal, nor are his graces and blessings and answered prayers.  Yet I get stuck on a situation or I continue pounding on a closed door because I've limited how I want to receive God's answer.  

Did I miss the apocalypse?

Once again, I'm drawn back to reflect on life, especially in our current setting.  This extreme change in our social behavior feels unreal, as if I woke up in totally different world than the one before.  I didn't realize just how many things I've taken for granted, both big and small.  And maybe even more telling are the things that are no longer available that I didn't value when they were.

It's tempting to panic.  It's tempting to deny.  It's tempting to complain and moan and despair.  But I choose something more.  Something better.  I choose hope.  Because, let's face it, who likes to talk to a pessimist?  So why would I want to live that way?