Today is my parents' 54th wedding anniversary. Wow. Does that happen anymore these days? Should it? That could be a whole other topic of conversation. Anyway, re-reading some of my previous journaling, I came across a section I wrote when I was frustrated over a guy and the situation we were in (or not in . . . depending on your point of view!). Here it is - from November 2005:
In my life, almost any girl I’ve talked to has had some type of plan for their wedding. I think I may have been the only exception. I have a friend who always talks about WHEN she gets married or WHEN we all have kids. I’m kinda like, how do you know that will happen? What guarantee are you subscribing to? There’s nothing to say, yes, you will have kids, you will get married, etc. Plus, in any of the books I’ve read over the past few years, thinking that way is not conducive to fully living in the here and now. How can you live in the present if you are constantly planning for or thinking about the future? So I’ve always been frustrated when people make those assumptions. Althought maybe I’m just being hypocritical, because I had/have all those crushes just the same. But I do not have any wedding plans or expectations. If it is supposed to happen, then I intend to share it with my fiancé. More and more, however, I do find myself open to the thought of children. Not that I’ve ever been against them. I love kids. All of my brothers and sisters have kids, and I love being an aunt. I really get to have a great relationship with them, and it’s neat. I’ve always enjoyed kids, but I’ve never felt the audacity to plan on having some of my own. But more and more, I find that I would like to raise children to ensure that they grow in the Catholic tradition that I love, and to help them become socially conscious, active citizens who love God. I guess I could also just become a teacher! I’ve also found myself dwelling more on a relationship between a husband and wife. I’m not referring to intimacy necessarily, but the reality of living the day-to-day life with someone. Someone who promises to be there always, no matter what. Who will take you on the good AND bad days. It may seem rather unromantic, but I see love as a choice. Yes, there has to be a spark, some attraction. But the commitment required to make a marriage work has more to do with the choice than with spark. I sometimes muse that I hope God is very clear if I am to be married, because a) I want to know when to make the choice, and b) if I see it as a choice I can make, and it obviously could be made and I’d want to be sure because c) once I decided, that’s it. I hope that doesn’t mean that the wrong someone could make me choose that way! But when I stopped to think about elaborate weddings and rehearsals and everything involved, it all comes down to 2 people making promises. And they have to believe that the other one means it. There’s no enforcer behind the scenes, there’s no guarantee. It’s just your word. That really made me think. This isn’t something I’m considering lightly, obviously. (and perhaps now, a little obsessively). I hope that made some sense. And of course, God has to be a major part of it. 3 are involved, not just 2.
Saturday, October 07, 2006
Monday, September 11, 2006
Thoughts on Change
I wrote this last January. Circumstances included a potential job in another state, and the ramifications of moving (or not). Part of me wanted the passive role of not deciding, but . . . the act of not choosing is in fact a choice. Sneaky, but true. Here are my musings on the idea of change:
Change
The only thing certain is change.
How’s that for an oxymoron?
No matter what you do, there will be someone there to tell you how to do it better or what you should have done instead.
But whose opinion matters? God’s and then yours. But not theirs at all! It is a very fine line between giving sound advice to help someone in a storm and storming them with advice because you like the sound of your voice!
As usual, there is more than one side to the matter. On one hand we have the ‘wise’ whether they claim that title for themselves or if it is bestowed upon them. They a) want what is best for you, b) know what is best for you, or c) want what they think is best for you!
You are blessed to have those of the ‘a’ persuasion; these kind souls are supportive and helpful. They wish to aid you in your ventures and guard you from unnecessary spills and stumblings. That may mean that they point out potential pitfalls, or rather that they help you up after you have fallen in. And if it is the latter course of action, they will not chide or berate you, for their love and support is 100%.
Next, there are the ‘b’s’ in your life; the misguided persons who believe they control the wisdom of the world. In their sensible lives, they have seen what happens when other people don’t do what they should – aka what the b’s told them to do – and they do NOT want that fate for you. Rather, they will gently steer or eagerly wrestle you to set the direction of your path. The end justifies the means, which, most importantly, is what they know to be best for you.
Finally, the dread combination: the ‘c’. Similar to the a in the desire for what is best, they differ in those who can be either selfish in their relationships or think they possess more erudition (aka intelligence) than those around them. Usually their unwanted advice is prefaced with a ‘This is for the best’ statement. But in whose best lies their concern? They become single-minded in their quest of enlightening those poor, unfortunate souls who would be lost without them. Translation – they’re going to tell you what to do, not because it benefits you, but because they can.
No matter what decision is currently foremost in your life, change will occur because of it. You must make a decision based on the information that you currently have. There is no opportunity for ‘what-ifs’ and ‘I can’t’ – you must, and you cannot look back. If you don’t like the change, then make another decision to change the first, but there is no going back. Something will be different, and therefore it will be a new situation and it will require another decision. Big or small, life changing or simple, there is always something that you must decide.
Change
The only thing certain is change.
How’s that for an oxymoron?
No matter what you do, there will be someone there to tell you how to do it better or what you should have done instead.
But whose opinion matters? God’s and then yours. But not theirs at all! It is a very fine line between giving sound advice to help someone in a storm and storming them with advice because you like the sound of your voice!
As usual, there is more than one side to the matter. On one hand we have the ‘wise’ whether they claim that title for themselves or if it is bestowed upon them. They a) want what is best for you, b) know what is best for you, or c) want what they think is best for you!
You are blessed to have those of the ‘a’ persuasion; these kind souls are supportive and helpful. They wish to aid you in your ventures and guard you from unnecessary spills and stumblings. That may mean that they point out potential pitfalls, or rather that they help you up after you have fallen in. And if it is the latter course of action, they will not chide or berate you, for their love and support is 100%.
Next, there are the ‘b’s’ in your life; the misguided persons who believe they control the wisdom of the world. In their sensible lives, they have seen what happens when other people don’t do what they should – aka what the b’s told them to do – and they do NOT want that fate for you. Rather, they will gently steer or eagerly wrestle you to set the direction of your path. The end justifies the means, which, most importantly, is what they know to be best for you.
Finally, the dread combination: the ‘c’. Similar to the a in the desire for what is best, they differ in those who can be either selfish in their relationships or think they possess more erudition (aka intelligence) than those around them. Usually their unwanted advice is prefaced with a ‘This is for the best’ statement. But in whose best lies their concern? They become single-minded in their quest of enlightening those poor, unfortunate souls who would be lost without them. Translation – they’re going to tell you what to do, not because it benefits you, but because they can.
No matter what decision is currently foremost in your life, change will occur because of it. You must make a decision based on the information that you currently have. There is no opportunity for ‘what-ifs’ and ‘I can’t’ – you must, and you cannot look back. If you don’t like the change, then make another decision to change the first, but there is no going back. Something will be different, and therefore it will be a new situation and it will require another decision. Big or small, life changing or simple, there is always something that you must decide.
Sunday, September 10, 2006
Sunday Readings September 10, 2006
I write to reflect on the homily and readings from this weekend, as well as other influences from my life that play into my understanding of God’s Word.
Deafness. Can you imagine a condition like that? Many people cannot sit quietly in silence for 10 minutes, let alone a lifetime. How would you react? For me, that would mean a life without music, or at least the music of others. I would only have the music from within, for which there would be no sharing. To be melodramatic, this could be considered ‘a fate worse than death’! But yet, how simple would such a life be? No sound pollution, no noise clouding one’s thoughts, nothing to disturb the peace of one’s mind. But wait, if there is no interruption to the mind, there is no stopping it either. That means that thoughts can replay over and over without distraction. How comfortable would we be to continually face our thoughts without benefit of interruption? Most people are not comfortable in their own minds, and thus look to outside ‘noises’ for comfort, distraction, and a removal from reality. From video games, to television, to gossip, to any type of mindless ‘pollution’ that comes through our ears – we seek escape. But a deaf person cannot escape through those measures. Instead s/he must learn to deal with the mind without avoiding it through noisy disturbances. Perhaps we can learn stop escaping through the distracting ‘sounds’ in our lives.
Lord, help me to become deaf to the distractions in my life that pull me away from Your Will.
Deafness. Can you imagine a condition like that? Many people cannot sit quietly in silence for 10 minutes, let alone a lifetime. How would you react? For me, that would mean a life without music, or at least the music of others. I would only have the music from within, for which there would be no sharing. To be melodramatic, this could be considered ‘a fate worse than death’! But yet, how simple would such a life be? No sound pollution, no noise clouding one’s thoughts, nothing to disturb the peace of one’s mind. But wait, if there is no interruption to the mind, there is no stopping it either. That means that thoughts can replay over and over without distraction. How comfortable would we be to continually face our thoughts without benefit of interruption? Most people are not comfortable in their own minds, and thus look to outside ‘noises’ for comfort, distraction, and a removal from reality. From video games, to television, to gossip, to any type of mindless ‘pollution’ that comes through our ears – we seek escape. But a deaf person cannot escape through those measures. Instead s/he must learn to deal with the mind without avoiding it through noisy disturbances. Perhaps we can learn stop escaping through the distracting ‘sounds’ in our lives.
Lord, help me to become deaf to the distractions in my life that pull me away from Your Will.
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
Upcoming titles
I just ordered Max Lucado's book "Cure for the Common Life", and I can't wait to start it! There is a webinar on his website that is pretty cool.
Monday, January 16, 2006
Check this out!
Well - it's about time. Time for me to add my thoughts to the plethora of thoughts running about the Web.
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