Saturday, July 23, 2016

The craziness of life

It's been a long time since I've posted, and I think my circumstances are affecting my writing.  Some of it is procrastination, lack of discipline, and laziness on my part, but I've also not had a strong desire to write, mostly because I haven't thought I have much to share.  So, just like I've been living out of 'boxes' for the past months, my writing has been buried away, waiting to be unpacked and organized.  Don't get me wrong, I love where I am, and God is so very good to me, but I can really relate to a version of this well-known phrase by St. Augustine:  ". . . our soul is restless until it finds rest in You."  Or maybe my version would go like this, 'my soul is restless until I can put some order in my life.'

I guess, in some ways, I've used this time of transition as an excuse to become complacent.  I can see it in my haphazard Bible study time, my inconsistent prayer time, and my incorrect assumption that everything will be 'fixed' when I have my own place.  Yet, I know that I'm on a journey toward Heaven, and a 'permanent' address from the USPS isn't going to give me a perfect, organized prayer life or unlimited inspiration.  Granted, there will be some chaos that I will remove from my life, but I think the lesson has been much more important than inconvenient.  

I see this time of transition as an extended retreat.  The way that this change came about in my life was so smooth in the opportunity and the timing, I knew it was God's plan being manifested.  I think if I had gone directly into a routine here i.e. Instantly selling my house or finding one here, without traveling through times that required patience and trust, things might look a little different.  The transformation of my life on the outside (new job, new city, new focus) may not have reflected the reality of my life on the inside.  And so, I praise Him.




  

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