Happy Feast of All Saints! There are so many wonderful men and women who have gone before us, giving us examples of how to live, or sometimes, what NOT to do! I think there is a saint for almost any situation/career/grace that you could think of. What inspires me the most is that many of the saints are ordinary people who loved God completely. As we heard at Mass today, we don't have to be a St. Thomas Aquinas (very scholarly) or St. Theresa of Kolkata (working with the poorest of the poor). Yet we are not excused from being saint just because we don't think we can measure up. Sainthood is not only defined by great acts, although there are many saints who were heroic in their actions. To me, being a saint is as basic as Matthew Kelly's famous catchphrase - "Becoming the best version of ourselves." I love that expression, because it highlights two things: 1) That we don't have to becomeanyone other than ourselves. We are quality material! 2) We were designed to be saints from the beginning of our very existence. It is in our spiritual DNA! In our homily today, we heard that doing small things with great love is a saintly act. Many saints espouse that motto, but one of the best is St. Therese.
"Little things done out of love are those that charm the Heart of Christ… On the contrary, the most brilliant deeds, when done without love, are but nothingness."
One of my favorite songs, taken from Revelation 7, is Worthy is the Lamb. When you read Scripture and listen to the song, you see the beautiful correlations.
I, John, saw another angel come up from the East, holding the seal of the living God. He cried out in a loud voice to the four angels who were given power to damage the land and the sea, “Do not damage the land or the sea or the trees until we put the seal on the foreheads of the servants of our God.” I heard the number of those who had been marked with the seal, one hundred and forty-four thousand marked from every tribe of the children of Israel.
After this I had a vision of a great multitude, which no one could count, from every nation, race, people, and tongue. They stood before the throne and before the Lamb, wearing white robes and holding palm branches in their hands. They cried out in a loud voice:
“Salvation comes from our God, who is seated on the throne, and from the Lamb.”
All the angels stood around the throne and around the elders and the four living creatures. They prostrated themselves before the throne, worshiped God, and exclaimed:
“Amen. Blessing and glory, wisdom and thanksgiving, honor, power, and might be to our God forever and ever. Amen.”
Then one of the elders spoke up and said to me, “Who are these wearing white robes, and where did they come from?” I said to him, “My lord, you are the one who knows.” He said to me, “These are the ones who have survived the time of great distress; they have washed their robes and made them white in the Blood of the Lamb.”
Any time I sing and/or play for Mass, I try to be fully present. This means truly believing what I'm singing, and thus, singing with conviction and emphasis. This song resonates with me, and I find it easy to pour my heart into the music. There are not enough words to describe Jesus' gift of salvation, and any attempt will fall short. Yet, my attempts to do so are a gift to God. The fact that I recognize how inadequate my words are, how inept my actions can be, reinforces the beauty of God's love. God is pleased with my attempts, minor though they are. I consider this to be practice for the glorious day when we are robed in white, praising God non-stop. So, until that day comes, we must continue to strive to be worthy, as God is.
Prayer - Lord, help me to grow in awareness of Your greatness. Open my eyes to Your beauty and power. Grant me the ability to see You in my life, so that I may live every day and every moment for You. May I continually strive to attain You. Amen.
Again - time has slipped away. Rather than bemoan that fact, I want to revel in what that has meant for me. It’s been 7 months since I uprooted my life. It seems like I’ve lived and worked here for years. At the same time, the friendships and relationships I’ve left behind are missed and I feel the loss deeply. But that is life. Either or. Both choices may be good, but you can only choose one. I know, sometimes you get lucky and it’s not an either or, it’s a both and. I do find that to be true, too. Moving here has allowed me to combine my job with my faith. I cannot begin to describe my gratitude for this opportunity.
Yes, there are bumps and snags. No, not every day is great, grand and glorious in my eyes. I still struggle with good choices and a positive attitude and living for God. I have a feeling those are permanent circumstances. But, if I immerse myself the opportunities present, I know I am on the right path. Both and wins, as do I.
Prayer - Lord, thank you for the days when I struggle, as they remind me to lean on You. Thank you for the times I feel out of control, as I learn that You control all. Thank you for the moments when I despair, as You give me hope and grace when I cling to You. May I always come to You first, for in You I am helped.
It's been a long time since I've posted, and I think my circumstances are affecting my writing. Some of it is procrastination, lack of discipline, and laziness on my part, but I've also not had a strong desire to write, mostly because I haven't thought I have much to share. So, just like I've been living out of 'boxes' for the past months, my writing has been buried away, waiting to be unpacked and organized. Don't get me wrong, I love where I am, and God is so very good to me, but I can really relate to a version of this well-known phrase by St. Augustine: ". . . our soul is restless until it finds rest in You." Or maybe my version would go like this, 'my soul is restless until I can put some order in my life.'
I guess, in some ways, I've used this time of transition as an excuse to become complacent. I can see it in my haphazard Bible study time, my inconsistent prayer time, and my incorrect assumption that everything will be 'fixed' when I have my own place. Yet, I know that I'm on a journey toward Heaven, and a 'permanent' address from the USPS isn't going to give me a perfect, organized prayer life or unlimited inspiration. Granted, there will be some chaos that I will remove from my life, but I think the lesson has been much more important than inconvenient.
I see this time of transition as an extended retreat. The way that this change came about in my life was so smooth in the opportunity and the timing, I knew it was God's plan being manifested. I think if I had gone directly into a routine here i.e. Instantly selling my house or finding one here, without traveling through times that required patience and trust, things might look a little different. The transformation of my life on the outside (new job, new city, new focus) may not have reflected the reality of my life on the inside. And so, I praise Him.
Today we celebrate the Feast of Pentecost. We wear red to signify the tongues of fire that descended upon the apostles. We also get to sing a sequence. The sequence is only required on certain feasts, Pentecost being one of them. The sequence is used to increase the solemnity of the feast, while allowing us to further explore the celebration. Think of it as extra frosting of our already delicious Mass!
As I was anticipating the Mass today, I read my book study commentary. This sentence really stood out, "The strength of our love for Jesus is the measure of how well we keep his commandments and word, how well we care for each other." Read it again. "The strength of our love for Jesus is the measure of how well we keep his commandments and word, how well we care for each other." I don't know why it struck me this particular time, as it's not a new message by any means.
"He said to them, 'You shall love the Lord, your God, with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the greatest and the first commandment. The second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself.'" ~Matthew 22:36-46
As in, I got an offer on my house and they wanted to close in 15 days! Yikes. Yesterday was closing, and now I am without a house. Thanks to my fabulous realtor, Steve, for his time and commitment. I am grateful for the opportunity to work with him. God is good.
Having listed my house in January, shortly after I opened the current chapter in my life journey, I wasn't sure what to expect in terms of speed. "The housing market is good," they said. "Your house will sell quickly," they said. I guess it's all relative.
It's official!
It was definitely evident that God had a plan, even if I didn't know the details of said plan. For one thing, I was never panicked about the sale of my house. That's not to say I didn't have moments of anxiety or doubt. Yet, I had a peace about the situation that wasn't of this world. I am grateful that God granted me the grace of patience in this situation. I had just experienced God's plan when I accepted my new job, so it made sense that this would have been figured out already. Cross that off of my to-do list :-)
One thing that really made me smile was the timing of the offer. I had been planning a surprise party on May 1, and the venue ended up being my unoccupied house, for lack of a better option. The phone call about the offer came April 27, and I just knew that the timing was certainly of God - enough time to wrap things up, have the party, finalize details, and revel in God's goodness. I liked the idea, too, that this happened around Tasha's birthday - I'm sure she had her fingers in there as well.
Celebrating the sale :-)
What's next? I'm not sure. In the next moments, I want to focus on God's goodness and the gifts I have received. I cannot express enough how thankful I am for everyone's love and support. So I will close with this prayer:
Ephesians 3:14-19 "For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord's holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge - that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God."
I was looking back at some of my posts while trying to find a fitting title for this one. I've noticed that my recent focus appears to be on time, i.e. God's timing, patience, seasons, etc. This one is in much the same vein. There is so much to say, I'm not sure my thoughts can be expressed completely. Life is complicated. In one breath we experience joy, and the next, sadness. Time is the great equalizer, granting perspective or hindsight. There are so many pieces that we don't understand while they are happening, but occasionally, we can look back and glimpse God's work in our lives.
I was recently back to my old 'stomping grounds' as I was playing for a wedding. Interestingly enough, the cantor was my former neighbor. We practiced a few times, and chatted back and forth via text. We talked more in the last two weeks then we probably did in the five years I lived across the street. She made a comment to me that she wished we had connected sooner. I agreed. Sometimes it takes big changes to see something that's right across the street. Yet, I believe that God's timing is perfect, even if it is occasionally confusing.
Today is my niece's birthday, and she's celebrating it in Heaven. She would be 23 years old. I think one of the best gifts she ever gave me was her example of fully living in the moment. I think of her and am reminded how I want to live my days to the fullest.
I sometimes wonder, when I think about her and my other beloved dead, especially those who died suddenly, if they would have lived differently, had they known when their lives were ending. None of us have a crystal ball, nor should we, in my opinion. Yet, it is incumbent upon us to live our lives in such a way that we have no fear of death.
Jesus lived that way. He knew what was to come, still went forward. Into the pain and suffering willingly. If we knew what tomorrow held, would we still embrace it, bumps and all? Or are we too busy thinking about what could happen, so we forget to live in the present? Or conversely we focus on what didn't go the way we wanted, and we are mired in the past, failing to live fully? Ultimately, we have one true call, to live now, loving and serving God and our neighbor.
Living in the present - being present - living with full awareness. I do not do these well all of the time, but I'd like to think that I am persistent in my efforts. I choose my attitude and my effort. Some days are harder then others. Yet, through it all, I am aware of God.
God is good.
So naturally, we all wish to respond: All the time.
And, if we've done that, the next step is: And all the time . . .
GOD IS GOOD!
Even when there are crappy times and struggles and pain and hurt, our sovereign God is still loving us, reaching for us, inviting us closer.
"I can do all things through Him who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13
So, my Thursday started like any other day. Lots to do at work. Go to Mass. Stop to visit my parents. Eat supper with them. Fracture my foot on my way out the door. The usual routine. Wait . . . . What???
Well, I took the 2nd last step as if I were on the bottom step, and down I went. The irony is, we worry about my parents tripping and falling, and I"m the one who fell! Oops. The doctor says I'm in the boot for now and he wants to see me in 10 days.
Well, that certainly wasn't part of MY plan. I just attended a healing Mass the night BEFORE! Rotten timing. Just another reminder that I'm not in charge :-)!
I'll admit, I have a history of crazy foot injuries. Well, only 2, but they are unique. The time I stepped on a pork chop bone when I was a kid (this is when you gave food bones to your dogs on the farm and they left them all over) and it punctured my shoe and foot and I had to get a tetanus shot. Or the time I sprained both of my ankles at once when I was first out of college, living by myself (I blame my platform shoes). Stairs were especially challenging. Talk about being immobile!
Are you listening? Can you hear Jesus calling? If not, you might want to take a minute or ten to quiet yourself and listen for His gentle voice. That's exactly what I got to do tonight. We had a healing Mass - an opportunity to bring our pain, sufferings, challenges, fears, and give it all to God. It's not as easy as it sounds, but it's worth the effort to try. The setting: a darkened church, with votive lights flickering. Soft music playing. Jesus, exposed in the monstrance, beckoning us closer.
I'm on my hand and knees carefully running my palm over the carpet in my room. I'm desperately feeling for the back to my earring. Naturally, it's a small, clear back for dangling earrings and I have a cream white carpet. Not a good combination. As I'm tamping down my frustration, trying to decide how much time I really should spend looking for this, a bible story comes to mind. The woman who lost a coin:
"Or what woman having ten coins and losing one would not light a lamp and sweep the house, searching carefully until she finds it?" ~Luke 15:8
I glance around and think, 'No way am I moving everything in this room!' The room isn't that big, but not for a single, replaceable earring back. It's not worth it. And yet, I am reminded that when either I or another person is lost, God would overturn everything to bring us home.
"And when she does find it, she calls together her friends and neighbors and says to them, ‘Rejoice with me because I have found the coin that I lost.’ In just the same way, I tell you, there will be rejoicing among the angels of God over one sinner who repents.” ~Luke 15:9-10
Life has been rather surprising the past 6 weeks. When I started writing my Christmas letter for 2015, my focus was on my pilgrimage to the Holy Land, as most everything else in my life was the same . . . At least at that moment in time.
Advent 2015 began much the same as previous years - focus on preparation, worrying about getting things done, and trying to remember the real reason we celebrate Christmas. There were Christmas parties to plan, and reconciliation service to attend. It was especially memorable to think that I was preparing for my pilgrimage to the Holy Land just one short year ago. I felt a new connection to Mary and Joseph and their journey to Bethlehem.
The week of Christmas was when life took an unexpected turn. A casual inquiry about a job quickly became an interesting dilemma. I wasn't looking, and it showed up. Lots of prayer and thinking happened over the next days. It quickly became obvious that this could be a huge opportunity for me, which was both scary and exciting. Despite the fear of change, I felt called to this move. This was the opportunity to focus on my passion and dream - a full-time job with a basis in my Catholic faith.
A year ago on the Feast of Our Lord's Baptism, I was boarding a plane from Omaha, on the trip of a lifetime. My dream of visiting the Holy Land came true much sooner than I ever imagined it would. Yesterday's readings had another layer to them, reading about the Jordan River and remembering how we all renewed our Baptismal vows there. What an incredible experience!
Well, that was fast.
I was recently back to my old 'stomping grounds' as I was playing for a wedding. Interestingly enough, the cantor was my former neighbor. We practiced a few times, and chatted back and forth via text. We talked more in the last two weeks then we probably did in the five years I lived across the street. She made a comment to me that she wished we had connected sooner. I agreed. Sometimes it takes big changes to see something that's right across the street. Yet, I believe that God's timing is perfect, even if it is occasionally confusing. 
Living in the present - being present - living with full awareness. I do not do these well all of the time, but I'd like to think that I am persistent in my efforts. I choose my attitude and my effort. Some days are harder then others. Yet, through it all, I am aware of God. 
